Is this a normal reaction?

[Oohmeoldbacksknackered]

I think of myself as pretty normal. But today I'm not so sure.
I was on Winchelsea beach today and saw the plane crash. I say plane but TBH it was so quick I wasn't sure exactly what had happened. I saw a huge impact and somethin g went down like a stone. Within seconds there was nothing to see. No wreckage no survivors. Nothing.
So I doubted what I'd seen. I very nearly didn't phone 999. I didn't want to get involved. More importantly, I didn't want to look a dick by making a call and being told it was nothing.
I made the call after a few minutes, was told I was the 4th call and they were sending 'resource' ASAP.
First reaction- relief for not being an idiot. Nothing for the poor buggers that had gone down.
Then when the chopper came over there was some kind of weird excitement rather than worry for my fellow man.
It was only when they gave up searching at the impact site and started looking for bodies or wreckage being washed ashore that it sunk in and I felt ashamed for my earlier reactions.
Then I turned round to go because I realised that the last thing I really wanted to see was any reality of a tragedy and saw for the first time that dozens, possibly hundreds of people had appeared at the top of the beach to watch as well - who needs Hollyoaks ?
Sick busterds the lot of us.
Even now. I definitely feel bad. But why do I feel the need to post? Is it in the hope that others will say this reaction is normal and I'm not an evil git?
Or is it because I subconsciously want to boast- I was there I saw death. You didn't. Nar nar ne nar nar.?
I like to think it's not the latter, but I'm not absolutely sure.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

Evil git you ain't .

The psychologists could write a book about this type of shock and guilt.

We see bad stuff on the news every day and we get desensitised to an extent, and then when we actually witness an incident, your preconceived ideas of how you would react are put to the test and nobody knows how they will react in reality.

You called 999, that's all you could have done, you didn't cause the crash, you couldn't have swum out to help, you were just a witness.

My life mantra is something like " if you can't influence it, don't worry about it"

These events were outside your control, it's not nice, and clearly people have died. So take a couple of minutes to pay your respects, then get back on your life treadmill knowing that you couldn't have done anything more to help.

 

[virtuocity]

I think we're programmed by default to be intrigued and attuned to events which threaten human life- perhaps part of our instinctual survival mechanisms.

You overcame the 'bystander effect' (you can read more online) which positions you as someone who, despite social pressure, calls for help even if you're not sure that someone needed it. Yes, it was exciting, but this was most likely as a result of adrenaline pumping through your veins (another biological response to protect yourself).

Following this, you showed remorse, guilt and underwent- and continue to undergo- a period of deep reflection about your reaction and the death of a fellow human.

You could have hung around, got the iPhone out and started documenting someone's demise for the purpose of sharing this horrible experience with countless people. You didn't.

In short, you're not a bad person.

As an aside- A Sky News report at 2235 last night stated that police were looking for witnesses.

 

[Oohmeoldbacksknackered]

Cheers guys. Felt better just getting it off my chest, rather than keeping it playing round my head.
I'll give the old Bill a ring then get on with normal Sunday stuff👍

 

[Tashyboy]

When I first started working in the medical centre, I remember the first time i had to call for an ambulance. Part of my brain was telling me do I really need to even though his injuries were obvious. Rung for countless ambulances since and not had any worries, apart from the ambulance service saying so you actually need one.
In instances like this as stupid as it seems if I were you I would look for the positives for the future. By this I mean you were correct in calling for the emergency services, next time you won't hesitate as much. That may help save someone's life.
Your reaction in feeling remorse and regret is a natural reaction, every time I have done resuscitation on someone I have always after event thought should I have done this or that, should I not of done this or that.
Dont beat yourself up over it.

 

[Doon frae Troon]

There are some strange folk about.
I remember when the plane crashed on the Surrey golf course in the 1970's.
Locals driving out to rubberneck blocked the roads for the emergency services.

Always make that phone call though.

 

[bladeplayer]

I think everything you described would be normal for ordinary people , kind of information load to the brain ,
As for people watching etc again it normal action if not a proper one


We got caught up in a bank robbery a good few yr ago shots fired the works , we thought my sister in law was in the bank as she was heading in there especially , PANIC & WORRY, she ha seen it unfold & dashed into the hotel beside it ,
We all found each other & relief , we then watched everything that ensued , like a tv programme oblivious to the anguish of others

 

[Oohmeoldbacksknackered]

After a shitty disturbed night you lot are making me feel more normal than I think I've ever considered myself.
😎
I genuinely appreciate the support.
😀👍

 

[Hobbit]

A normal reaction. And now you are processing it from the frontal lobe to the filing cabinet in the back of the brain. Don't shy away from thinking about it and talking about it otherwise you won't process it properly. In extreme cases, and this by the sound of it isn't far off, is how PTSD starts.

Some people can process some horrendous stuff, whilst others react badly to what some others see as just an incident. Be thankful you have to humanity to care.

 

[freddielong]

What you saw was traumatic and who is to say what the typical reaction should be, be careful with yourself in my experience this will come back and come out at some point when your not really thinking about it you may not even realise that it is related.

Just don't give yourself a hard time

 

[SocketRocket]

Thats funny!. I rented a beach house at Winchelsea this week for a Holiday in September and was looking at the location on Google Maps just before reading your post.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Pretty normal reaction I'd say driven by long programmed human instincts. Working in the hospital I regularly see crash teams called to wards. Not pleasant and I just stay out the way and try and conclude my business or come back at an appropriate time. I've had to do CPR once, successfully, and hope never to do it again. If I was the OP I'd relax and stop worrying. It was something way beyond his control and after dialling 999 everything else was out of his control

 

[Deleted member 15717]

Its weird, a few years ago, I on the way home from work, and saw a student about 13 at the time get knocked over by a car. I was about 20 yards from it on the other side of the road. Saw it happen clear as anything no bizarrely, in the moment...slow motion

There was no hesitation and to this day it is the only 999 call I have ever had to make. It is also the only 999 call I ever want to make. Standing giving statements to Police and helping Paramedics see to the boy, all whilst he is crying 'I don't want to die' awful, awful situation. The only good thing is the boy survived with only a huge scar to his head.

You did what you had to do. And your reaction is undoubtedly much the same as anyone else.

 

[SocketRocket]

Many years ago I was driving home along a quiet country road when I saw someone lying in the road with two others standing by him and waving their arms at me. I slowed down and stopped, there was a young man on the floor with his pushbike alongside him, the two other young men had been riding a motor bike that they were obviously too young to ride and had collided with him, knocking him off his bike. One of the guys was shouting at me to help and for a split second I remember thinking 'shall I get out or keep going' Then I came to my senses, got out checked the one on the floor who was bleeding quite badly, I put my jacket under him, got my first aid kit out the car and applied some dressing to stem the blood flow. I got one of the guys to run down the road to a house and ring for an ambulance (before mobile phones). He was taken to hospital and called me a few days later to thanks me for helping him, the Police gave him my number.

I felt disgusted with myself for a long time after for having that immediate thought.