I have a dilemma

[Black gold]

Evening all.... I have a massive life changing dilemma, 12 years ago I made a decision to move
Away from my hometown and family to start a new life in Aberdeen.

And since my move life has been great. I've a wife two kids and own a nice house in a nice area
I have a very well paid job in the oil industry.

But for the last few months I'm thinking of leaving my job and taking my wife and kids back to live
In Leeds.

To be closer to family, not growing up in Aberdeen I don't really have any friends up here
And as for work mates many live in USA / Russia , all over the world really.

God I don't know what to do for the best,

 

[DappaDonDave]

Evening all.... I have a massive life changing dilemma, 12 years ago I made a decision to move
Away from my hometown and family to start a new life in Aberdeen.

And since my move life has been great. I've a wife two kids and own a nice house in a nice area
I have a very well paid job in the oil industry.

But for the last few months I'm thinking of leaving my job and taking my wife and kids back to live
In Leeds.

To be closer to family, not growing up in Aberdeen I don't really have any friends up here
And as for work mates many live in USA / Russia , all over the world really.

God I don't know what to do for the best,

Move back to York...Leeds is a dump!

Compromise

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Aberdeen or Leeds.
That's a no brainer.
Job security
Better envoirnment
Better housing
Better education system
Huge choice of golf courses at affordable prices.
Aberdeen even have a better football team.

 

[bigslice]

Aberdeen or Leeds.
That's a no brainer.
Job security
Better envoirnment
Better housing
Better education system
Huge choice of golf courses at affordable prices.
Aberdeen even have a better football team.

wot he said, plus leeds is dirty. dirty leeds

 

[thecraw]

What age are the kids?

What are your families view? Its not all about you!

 

[Qwerty]

Is your wife from Leeds or Aberdeen?

 

[Black gold]

What age are the kids?

What are your families view? Its not all about you!

Hi there, my kids are 4 and my youngest is 6 months

My wife is from Aberdeen and her family isn't really close she has her mother and brother
She lost her farther when she was a teenager,

She's close to her mother but not really close with her brother,
Her mother is happy for us to leave if we think our family life will improve.

I'm not doing it for myself, I was brought up in a close family
And want the same for my kids.

My heart says to go but my head tells me to stay.

There is no way I would find a job in Leeds earning the money I'm earning here in Aberdeen.
And I know Aberdeen is a safer city than Leeds,

 

[williamalex1]

think hard about kids moving back south if they speak in a , loons and quiney way , ye ken whit'll happen. i'll be corrected shortly
best of luck in what ever you decide . good folk in aberdeen though.

 

[thecraw]

That last sentence about safety should clinch it if its for the sake of the kids!

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Have you asked the kids what they want? Personally I'd be looking to be somewhere with a solid base in a good environment with reasonable job prospects (as far as there can be these days) where I can feel my kids are safe and happy.

I'm not au fait with the area but surely like most towns, there are places in the suburbs that are nice in Leeds and whilst it is good to live well, as long as you aren't struggling to make ends meet and there is a few quid available for the kids and holidays is the salary and job the be all and end all. At the end of the day, the brutal truth is only you your wife and your kids can make the decision. That said it isn't a thing I'd like to have to think about as it could be tough if you go for it and they don't like Leeds

 

[Qwerty]

I kinda know where your coming from, Happiness for me is about the people not the place.
I moved away from my home town and I occasionally yearn for everything I miss about it.

From what you've said up to now, I would say try to make more of a life for you and the family by getting out and making a few friends,maybe at the Golf club, pub, other kids parents etc.

 

[bigslice]

Have you asked the kids what they want? Personally I'd be looking to be somewhere with a solid base in a good environment with reasonable job prospects (as far as there can be these days) where I can feel my kids are safe and happy.

I'm not au fait with the area but surely like most towns, there are places in the suburbs that are nice in Leeds and whilst it is good to live well, as long as you aren't struggling to make ends meet and there is a few quid available for the kids and holidays is the salary and job the be all and end all. At the end of the day, the brutal truth is only you your wife and your kids can make the decision. That said it isn't a thing I'd like to have to think about as it could be tough if you go for it and they don't like Leeds

lol the kids are 4 years and the other six months

 

[chrisd]

The grass is always greener mate!

 

[3offTheTee]

If you move back to Leeds how will you know you will settle there?
What 'old friends' will still be around and how do you think they will accept you?
You state you are in good employment. What will happen in Leeds?
What is your housing situation and schooling in Aberdeen compared to Leeds?
What happens if your wife does not settle in Leeds? there will be little problem with the children.

Why do you feel it would be so much better.

Overall with family around and not knowing all the circumstances , bearing in mind the cost of the move, house sales I would try and stick it out where you are

 

[USER1999]

Once the kids are in school they will have loads of friends, and their lives will be great where ever they are. Kids are expensive, so go where the money is. They will have a better life if dad can pay for it.

 

[Foxholer]

I've seen (and experienced) both sides of this dilemna.

Home towns are a bit like pain - you forget all the bad stuff and remember the good. When you return for longer than a visit, all the rubbish memories about home town suddenly reappear and you realise why you made the rather momentous decision to leave in the first place!

Mobile phones, skype and Web-cams make distances very small and Aberdeen to Leeds is not very for anyway!

I'm pretty sure I'd pick Aberdeen over Leeds even without the work situation!

 

[Doon frae Troon]

lol the kids are 4 years and the other six months

I told you the education system in Scotland is very good!

 

[robbest3offthetee]

BG, Dont do it mate, As someone said the grass is always greener, Dont give up a perfectly good job/house.... Life really ,for something that you may go to regret, stick it out where you are and things will im sure get easier/better, what ever you decide to do I wish you all the very best...

 

[bladeplayer]

I dont know anything about either places , its all about standard and quality of life & the safety of your family , as someone said your friends will all have their own lives & worrys, so it will never ever be like the old days , i think you summed it up in your own post realy ...

"And since my move life has been great. I've a wife two kids and own a nice house in a nice area
I have a very well paid job in the oil industry."

AGAINST
"To be closer to family, not growing up in Aberdeen I don't really have any friends up here
And as for work mates many live in USA / Russia , all over the world really."

When you choose to have a family their safety & well being HAVE to come first .. joinn some clubs or associations & you will make friends aswell ,

As a family man & parent its a no brainer for me mate , you have it good , stay where you are ...

 

[Hobbit]

What you choose is ultimately what you feel is right...

My tuppence; we moved away, reluctantly, from our home town 16 years ago. A good job with better prospects and a better environment was the lure. 12 years into it our hometown was still calling, mainly for me, and as our parents were failing we moved back home. Thankfully its now doesn't matter where I live for work.

Rose Tinted Spectacles!!!

Once our last parent shuttles off their mortal coil were off. The friends I had here have formed new circles, and although I still golf with many of them it isn't the same. And I see the family no more than I used to when we were 140 miles away - they have also developed new circles. The town is dying on its feet, not that it was ever really that big.

Being blunt, don't do it. The novelty won't last long if you do.