Golf - The unwritten rules....

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

The most miserably awful duffed, topped, fluffed etc tee shot is usually following by an absolute stonker of a second. See also 'playing a provisional'

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Ladies must . . .

 

[Ross61]

When a cat 4 player scores 4 for 4 on a hole after scoring just 3 points on the previous 4 holes the cat 1 player must still go on a rant about nobody should get more than 1 shot per hole.

 

[dewsweeper]

Any problems on the course or in a Club are the fault of "seniors " ,"women" or "societies".
Choose any order you like.
Dewsweeper

 

[HomerJSimpson]

When hitting it OB your PP will say "no one likes to see that"

 

[simoncrouch]

On a perfect practice swing muttering "oooh that would have been good"

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Rule #2

Never leave a birdie putt short

 

[londonlewis]

After smashing one OOB off the tee, you will automatically stripe the second one down the middle.

 

[Capella]

You always come up one club short, unless when there is a bunker behind the green. Then you are one club long.

You always slice your ball off the tee. Unless it is a sharp dog leg to the right. Then you hit the only hook of the day.

Gravity is always higher in a water hazard.

When you duff your putt, make sure to say "The greens are really slow today"

 

[UlyssesSky]

After smashing one OOB off the tee, you will automatically stripe the second one down the middle.

I so wish that was true...

 

[Slicer30]

When referring to the group in front and Declaring "I will never reach them" you hit the drive of your life and it soars towards them as if Laser Guided.

All Drives from the group behind which land anyway remotely close, should prompt a death stare from all members of your group.

Laying up on a par 5 while a group is on the green should result in a thinned Iron which somehow makes it close and prompts a few more stares. A talking too on the next tee may be required depending on the age of the culprit.

 

[williamalex1]

When you aim OOB thinking that your natural dependable slice or draw will bring it back to the perfect position . It won't.

 

[Jates12]

All puts that miss by a couple of inches will be greeted with "Nice roll"

 

[HomerJSimpson]

If you are struggling with one part of your game (chipping, pitching etc) you'll end up having to do loads of these shots all round.

 

[Jates12]

The person with the longest pre-shot routine will also be the person who has inhumanly selective hearing and will be disturbed by a sparrow farting half a mile away yet they can't hear you shout "that's good, pick it up" from 3 feet away and go on to putt out on every hole.

:rofl:

 

[chrisd]

When you aim OOB thinking that your natural dependable slice or draw will bring it back to the perfect position . It won't.

You've played with Justone then?

 

[louise_a]

somehow missed this thread, had a great laugh reading it. and to paraphrase one listed, if someone asked me how I play I assume they want a shot by shot report.

 

[Slime]

On a perfect practice swing muttering "oooh that would have been good"

Welcome to the forum ............................................ did you ride motorbikes about 30 years ago?


Slime.

 

[williamalex1]

You've played with Justone then?

No, but i know one of his students and heard rumours :smirk:.

 

[robert.redmile]

Might have been said before, but it always makes me laugh...

"regardless of where the ball finishes, if a senior successfully managed to exit his ball from a bunker, all other players must in unison, say "well out""