Golf Jokes thread

[JCW]

Here are a few quick ones

2 shots in a bunker ...........Adof Hilter

not enough legs ..................Douglas bader

I did not see it ...........Asene Wenger

too much club ................Rodney King

thought it was a straight but it was not ................Rock Hudson

Denis wise ...............nasty 4 footer

Diego Maradona ...........very nasty 4 footer

there are many more and other jokes like stevie wonder playing Tiger Woods

Got any more to add ...............................EYG

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Sally Gunnell ............ Ugly but a good runner

 

[JCW]

Princess Grace ........................should have used a driver

Princess Di .........................should not have used a Driver

Arthur Scargill ..............solid strike ...............shame about the result

 

[Baldy Bouncer]

The Sister-in-Law..........................You`re up there, but you know you shouldn`t be.

 

[blackpuddinmonster]

Q Why is this game called golf?
A Because all the other 4 letter words are already taken.

Golf, a game were the ball lies poorly, and the golfer lies well.

The only reason i play golf is to bug the missus.
She thinks i'am having fun.

Golfer: Think i'am going to drown myself in that lake.
Caddy: Do you think you can keep your head down that long?

Golfer: That can't be my ball, its way too old.
Caddy: It has been a long time since we teed of sir.

 

[Deleted member 18645]

Dagenham Stacy Rough - thick and horrible and you really don't want to be in there.

 

[SocketRocket]

Paula Radcliffe: Not quite as ugly as a Sally and runs further.

Son in Law: Not what we were expecting but we will have to put up with it.

Eva Brun: Pick up in a bunker.

 

[Duckster]

Sadam Hussain - bunker to bunker

Maradonna - nasty little 5 footer

Tutankhamun - buried in the sand

Gynecologist - shaves the hole

 

[guest100718]

1960 = The year any of these were even a tiny but funny....

 

[Doon frae Troon]

1960 = The year any of these were even a tiny but funny....

Glad it is not only me!

Still waiting for the 'priest swearing on the golf course' one though.......that's a first.

 

[SocketRocket]

1960 = The year any of these were even a tiny but funny....

Yadedah!! How about bettering them then ?

There is nothing more boring than these neer-do-wells that have to put down a joke they have heard

 

[Andy]

My mate took his girlfriend to the doctor's because she had a golf ball stuck up her rear.

The doc said "shiver me timbers, that's up a fairway"!

 

[Robobum]

My mate took his girlfriend to the doctor's because she had a golf ball stuck up her rear.

The doc said "shiver me timbers, that's up a fairway"!

A pirate/ doctor?

 

[Sharktooth]

I've been done for less than some of these comments...

 

[Andy]

A pirate/ doctor?

My original would have most probably resulted in points