Fear of Failure!

[patricks148]

I used to revel in competition golf a couple of years ago and played in an open comp most weekends during the season and a medal at my home club.

But in the last few years I’ve had a bad case of the shermans, had a complete swing change and had my handicap drift from 8 right up to 10 by the end of Aug. I got back to 8 at the end of last year by winning an open in October. This year I’ve shot quite a few low scores even a 2 under parr gross.

I’m finally starting to play very well but having real trouble with competitions, I’ve probably only entered 12 -13 so far this year and had drifted up to 9.3, before cuts in the last few weeks to get me back to 8.3.
Was due to play in a medal on Saturday but got offered a free round at Castle Stuart, so went there instead and shot a 73 gross off the white. Fair enough I thought a freebee is a god enough excuse?

However was asked to make up a 3 ball on Sunday morning with a mate who wanted to play in the Sunday Stableford with a friend of his who was visiting from Glasgow. I was a horrible morning pissing with rain and quite windy. So I chickened out and just signed the card for Dave so he could enter.

We each had a little side bet to make it more competitive, a played pretty steady and took the cash, when he was entering his score on the club computer he was leading with 32 points out of the 20 or so entrants who had been out so far!

What do you think I scored??

A gross 73 for 42 points the CSS at that point was 76. off 8 that would have brought down to 65 and a possible 2.2 cut…

Does any one else have his fear of failure and how did the overcome it?

 

[Andy808]

I don't think it's a fear of failure more the added pressure of doing well in a comp. When playing a friendly or solo round there is a limited number of people that will see how well or badly your doing but in a comp your score and your standard of play is there for all in the comp to see plus you really want to do well. I have no doubt that the pros have the same thing when they have friendly rounds with mates away from tournaments. It was the same for me when I used to play alot of snooker and pool. I could play superbly well in practice games but miss easy shots in matches.
It's all in your mind!

 

[jdchelsea]

I used to revel in competition golf a couple of years ago and played in an open comp most weekends during the season and a medal at my home club.

But in the last few years I’ve had a bad case of the shermans, had a complete swing change and had my handicap drift from 8 right up to 10 by the end of Aug. I got back to 8 at the end of last year by winning an open in October. This year I’ve shot quite a few low scores even a 2 under parr gross.

I’m finally starting to play very well but having real trouble with competitions, I’ve probably only entered 12 -13 so far this year and had drifted up to 9.3, before cuts in the last few weeks to get me back to 8.3.
Was due to play in a medal on Saturday but got offered a free round at Castle Stuart, so went there instead and shot a 73 gross off the white. Fair enough I thought a freebee is a god enough excuse?

However was asked to make up a 3 ball on Sunday morning with a mate who wanted to play in the Sunday Stableford with a friend of his who was visiting from Glasgow. I was a horrible morning pissing with rain and quite windy. So I chickened out and just signed the card for Dave so he could enter.

We each had a little side bet to make it more competitive, a played pretty steady and took the cash, when he was entering his score on the club computer he was leading with 32 points out of the 20 or so entrants who had been out so far!

What do you think I scored??

A gross 73 for 42 points the CSS at that point was 76. off 8 that would have brought down to 65 and a possible 2.2 cut…

Does any one else have his fear of failure and how did the overcome it?

Golf is not a game of perfect by Bob Rotella might be worth a read.

 

[Doh]

I believe it's about your attitude towards your own play in comps. You have to go out thinking, I am going to try my best if it happens great if not there is always next time.

 

[Achilles]

My last 3 rounds have been +11, +21 and +11. Can you guess which was the Medal?

I think the fact that we know what we are capable is what makes it hard to take when things go wrong.

You only have to look at what happened at the Open to realise that nobody is immune to pressure.

Whether you feel or not, it's there. Lurking. Waiting. And then it grabs you! Making you 3 stab from 3 feet...

 

[Andy808]

Golf is not a game of perfect by Bob Rotella might be worth a read.

+1
It's helped me so much it's unreal.
I now enjoy every round no matter how bad it's going and to have things to take my mind off the game while I'm playing.
We had an away match against a team that is very good on a course I had never played before and won my match 2up. Noone else won and I kept my concentration for the whole match and loved every minute of it.

 

[CMAC]

I wonder if its actually a fear of Success!

 

[patricks148]

I wonder if its actually a fear of Success!

Whats that supposed to mean?

If i wanted to keep my handicap high, i would just keep quite about it!

I would't need to enter any more comps as i've done enough to keep my handicap the same fot next year.

i want to get as low as possible and i'm not interested in winning comps for the glory, just the cuts!

 

[thecraw]

Patrick, sounds a bit like me. I played last week at Millport in a competition with Andy from here in my group. I was relaxed throughout and enjoyed the day plus got a cut.

Saturdays medal I was out with two 1 handicap players and hit it like a tit and couldn't relax or settle. I always felt under pressure and after two 8's I was out in 44!!!!!!

I've reached the stage again where I'm contemplating taking a break as I'm struggling to handle the pressure of a scorecard or even enjoy the game. I appreciate its about fun and at present I struggle to have fun.

 

[patricks148]

Patrick, sounds a bit like me. I played last week at Millport in a competition with Andy from here in my group. I was relaxed throughout and enjoyed the day plus got a cut.

Saturdays medal I was out with two 1 handicap players and hit it like a tit and couldn't relax or settle. I always felt under pressure and after two 8's I was out in 44!!!!!!

I've reached the stage again where I'm contemplating taking a break as I'm struggling to handle the pressure of a scorecard or even enjoy the game. I appreciate its about fun and at present I struggle to have fun.

yes, but for me its only in a comp, no problems in match play or a bounce game.

I've been playing much more social golf the last 2 years and have been really enjoying that, but i think the knock on effect has been i've lost something in comps.

 

[ScienceBoy]

Since leaving my golf club and then 7 months later taking the game up again, as a range player and nomadic golfer I found myself afraid of actually going to a course!

Instead of playing I would make excuses about me probably not going to get my monies worth, instead opting for 80 balls at the range and some short game practice.

This continued for a while, eventually I got over it but I find since now each round is not "free" I have to evaluate my game and only go play if I feel I can do well when on my own. Playing with others is not a problem but I used to love going out on my own, now I am afraid!

I am glad your story has some positives, mine ended in its own way when I FINALLY got myself out a few times on my own over the last few weeks.

I think you just have to be confident, forget the pressures and the consequences and just PLAY GOLF!

 

[Hobbit]

A bit of an off the cuff answer but I hope it helps rationalise your fears, and perhaps recognise where they fit in the great scheme of life.

1) What will the failure actually bring about? Will it be the death of a family member? Will your mates take the p!$$?

2) What aspect of failure do you fear? Is it the duffed tee shot, or a sherman disappearing off at right angles?

Rather than go through a whole host of what if's, one final question and a suggestion.

Does it really matter? Analyse all the ramifications of your version of failure and ask yourself does it really matter. A missed putt is a failure...

The suggestion; on the evening the results are posted up get your self down to the club and you will see virtually no one laughing and joking about failures. You will get the odd person saying did you see.... but the conversation quickly moves on to x shot a cracking score.

In truth no one apart from the guy who shot the score will remember failure, and no one will actually care.

It sounds like you've reached the point of needing something formal in your routine to get you past this hang up. I would suggest getting your name down for x number of minor club comps with the only proviso being you must play - sod the score, play the comp.

A cognitive behaviour therapist would probably call it aversion therapy. The best way to beat your demons is to confront them head on.

 

[USER1999]

I'm in a similar position. I too play comps for a handicap reduction, whilst not really giving a stuff about actually winning. I put my self under huge pressure to play well, as I am almost scared of getting the dreaded point one back. This is not helped by only playing about 7 comps a year. So if I play 4 rounds a week, for say 50 weeks, then I am playing 200 rounds, of which only 7 really matter. Not good odds, and I never get a chance to practice under pressure. Or off the back tees either.

If you find a solution, share it out!

 

[Val]

I used to really beat myself up and although like everyone I want cut every week If I don't get cut and have a 0.1 increase then so be it. Past caring too much now and try and enjoy it more rather than get myself under pressure over every ball.

 

[seochris]

yes, but for me its only in a comp, no problems in match play or a bounce game.

I've been playing much more social golf the last 2 years and have been really enjoying that, but i think the knock on effect has been i've lost something in comps.

Face up to it Patrick....your just a choker!


You are in good company though....Greg Norman, Doug Sanders....Jean van der Velde!

:rofl:

 

[CMAC]

Whats that supposed to mean?

If i wanted to keep my handicap high, i would just keep quite about it!

I would't need to enter any more comps as i've done enough to keep my handicap the same fot next year.

i want to get as low as possible and i'm not interested in winning comps for the glory, just the cuts!

oh dear! think I hit a nerve there, sorry, I assumed it was well known, it has the same results but the root cause is different. It's unique in that it arises when you are creating change (you stated this in the OP) plus its future based as opposed to fear of failure is trying to fix the past. I was just throwing it in as something less obvious to ponder. apologies for the confusion.

 

[Bomber69]

I used to really beat myself up and although like everyone I want cut every week If I don't get cut and have a 0.1 increase then so be it. Past caring too much now and try and enjoy it more rather than get myself under pressure over every ball.

Good thinking Big Val, how is your game at the moment and how many shot will I be giving you at Glenbervie.

 

[Val]

Good thinking Big Val, how is your game at the moment and how many shot will I be giving you at Glenbervie.

Playing ok big man, still having the odd stinker in the round as per but getting by. Normal 3/4 allowance should see me with 8 shots I reckon.

 

[stevek1969]

I have seen my handicap go from 9 to nearly 14 now in the past 3 seasons,its in my head that im going up 0.1 everytime i play there now,even playing with my mates i find it a struggle.

Yet i played in the Alyth Open on Saturday and although i didnt play the best due to illness i really enjoyed it again, thats twice i've played the course this week and i'm thinking of joining it.

I just can't get it together with a card at my place , yes its playing tough but i cant find find any enthusiasim for playing comps there just now and im of for 3 weeks, a break from there is on the cards.

 

[bladeplayer]

yes, but for me its only in a comp, no problems in match play or a bounce game.

I've been playing much more social golf the last 2 years and have been really enjoying that, but i think the knock on effect has been i've lost something in comps.

I think you might have your own answer , you are taking the medals more serious than the bounce games & it is affecting your game , try playing all your games as if it were a medal for a while .. ok some might think that will take the fun out of your bounce games , i think the opposite i think itl train your mind to treat all rounds the same , hence no pressure on just the medals ..

mental side is a very big part of the game at our level , the only way to prepare for competition mentaly is to be in competition , you get use to being in it & your mind is ok with it ..