Favourite golf witticisms and jests!

[patricks148]

when you hit a poor shot that comes up, either short of a bunker or gorse. you hear "saved by its weakness"

 

[HawkeyeMS]

After a slow round a few years back we got into the clubhouse and one of my PPs says to the other group "Did the RSPCA phone you earlier?", the guy says "No why?" to which my PP says, "Because they lost a Tortoise and they think it might have gone past you on the 13th"

 

[hamshanker]

When someone duffs a shot and you tell them your not surprised theres a big lump of pooh on the end of the club and when they look at the club head you then tell em no not end haha

 

[TheJezster]

Driver skied in the air = "An Angel raper" or the same shot which doesnt go very far at all can be called a "driving wedge". Quite like both of these

 

[kozmos]

When leaving a putt short I'm ' Pistoffrius ' ... Murdering a drive which just stays in play '' OJ '' ... Sinking a long putt ''Tulisa''...

 

[Foxholer]

The shortest hitter in my regular 3-ball is known as Annika because he hits it like a girl. (Conveniently ignoring the fact that Annika Sorenstam probably hit it further than any of us!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HIjS0Hf2Hg

And winning the hole was only worth $75K!