DNR ?

williamalex1

williamalex1

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Sad times, My 79 year old sister is back in hospital for the 6th time this year and this time been diagnosed as terminal.
Her immediate family agreed to a DRN, DO NOT RESUSCITATE , as she has been in pain really ill and no quality of life and very confused for quite a while .
But yesterday while visiting yesterday my sister was upset and asked me in a brief moment of consciousness " why did the doctor ask me if i wanted to be resuscitated ".
Seemingly a young student doctor had directly asked her the question when they were alone.
The doctor in charge apologised for the students poor bedside manner.
Sadly she has had multiple mini strokes, type 1 diabetes, osteoporosis causing multiple spine fractures, liver and kidney failure. :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
 
Its a difficult time for you, hope you're OK. Its a shame that she has been confused by this.

What's your feeling on DNR, do you have some reservations?
 
Sorry to hear that Billy, hopefully the young doctor will learn from their mistake, they are only human.

Having lost Mum last month and agreeing to a DNR was hard, but it was the right decision for her, (massive stroke), its so much harder if the patient has an idea of what is going on, even if the moments of lucidity are rare.

Be thinking of you and yours Billy. stay strong
 
There's no words good enough I can say that will be of much comfort Billy. I can't think of anything worse than watching a loved one suffer - please bear with me. I used to play golf with a GP, senior doc in a medical practice. He said something to me once that resonated. There is a time when prolonging life actually becomes prolonging death. And sometimes DNR is required. Its an horrendously painful choice - been there - but its a choice made with the ultimate expression of love, choosing to lose someone you love dearly.

Our very best wishes and prayers. I'll be raising a glass to you and yours in a few minutes. Bri
 
SocketRocket said:
Its a difficult time for you, hope you're OK. Its a shame that she has been confused by this.

What's your feeling on DNR, do you have some reservations?
Click to expand...
I truly think DRN is the best option for her, she's always been a strong independent woman, but she's not been at all happy being confined to a chair and needing 24 hour personal care .
Hopefully she can pass peacefully .
 
williamalex1 said:
I truly think DRN is the best option for her, she's always been a strong independent woman, but she's not been at all happy being confined to a chair and needing 24 hour personal care .
Hopefully she can pass peacefully .
Click to expand...
We’ve had the conversation with my mother-in-law, we took her in nearly 3 years ago when she diagnosed with terminal cancer, thankfully at the time she was fully mentally aware when she signed the DNR, not easy mate, but all we can do is respect their wishes and let them know you love them.
 
Sorry the hear that, Billy. The best you can do is to put yourself in her place and ask "what would she want? ". The answer is pretty clear, it's what most of us would want. Happened to my father & mother in law, by far the best decision to make.
 
Geez. Sorry to hear that. There's incredible moments of clarity when you think they're not responding etc. Difficult time. Sometimes doctors are so young they've no real experience of life and upset the apple cart. Hang in there.
 
My wife requested DNR on her notes. She never ever wanted to spend the remaining part of her life in hospital on a ventilator.

When I turned up after she was taken in to hospital I found she had been put on one. Luckily she had a period of lucidness and made it clear she wanted it removed.
 
Sorry to hear this Billy - was in same place with my mum couple of years back - as much as we might try and find that 'silver lining' that's easier said than done and it's so upsetting. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours over this really difficult time. Take care.
 
Tough one. I see it a lot where we have patients relatives given the news that their loved ones are on maximum support but still going downhill and so it is kinder to switch to palliative care and so won't be for DNR and also loved ones having to make that decision on behalf of their spouse etc who doesn't have capacity to make decisions. Although it was poor from the junior doctor hopefully his consultant/mentor will have gone through this as a learning curve and it isn't a mistake they'll repeat. Sad to hear your news though
 
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