Dilema

Why dont you open a thread called 'FAO JustOneUK' and just tell him straight

Hey no worries, I'm in a good mood, I just wrote an almighty reply and it didn't post properly so now I have to write it again... fortunately it'll probably be more mellow than the first one....

Firstly. All the courses we have played recently have been courses I've never seen in my life and on occasions the games have been relatively important.

I don't know how far it is to the trees on the right or the ditch on the left. If you hit your driver and get close then I know it's a soft 5 wood for me. I could walk onto the tee on every hole with a driver like you do because you can't reach the trouble... and then go put it away again. 380yd holes doesn't mean driver for all of us.

When you tee off you are playing to what you can see, all you need to worry about is the 50yds of rough in front of the tee box. I need to know what IS over that slope that is 250yds away or those trees on the right are they 250 or 280 yds away. My swing thoughts aren't "I hope I get this past the ladies tee".

If I am going for a par5 in 2 shots (not something you'd need to worry about) then I need to know where the best place is to be on the fairway, can I carry that bunker, is that lake on the left reachable... not whether I might make it there in 3 if I knobble a couple of hybrids 140yds each.

Secondly. After hitting my shot I'm happy to head off at a million miles per hour towards my ball, size up my next shot and wait to hit it... but I have to walk at the pace of your power trolley and hang back for you to hit your next shot, isn't it rude to walk in front of the slower guy?

Sometimes I have to head over to the rough to help you find your ball as I'm the one who saw where it went and will probably be the person who finds it. After you find it and knobble it 100yds I still have to get to my ball and size up what is in front of me on the course I don't know.
I'm happy not to look for your ball and head straight over to mine, I can then think about my next shot for 5 whole minutes whilst you look for your ball and read the course planner for the holes ahead if you prefer... we don't need to chat either.

When I play courses that I have played before I generally know which club i'm going to hit and what is where.... when we played the Addington on the first round I walked up the slope on the Par5 second hole to see where the green was, on the second round I didn't need to and promptly hit a 3-wood to 10 feet setting up an eagle.

If we only played the one round then I guess I would be classed as a time waster as I only made birdie the first time (and only a flippin' birdie the second time - stupid soggy greens!). You didn't need to go look over the slope as your hybrid doesn't go that far and you were more likely to have picked up than reached the green in two.

At Copthorne on the 14th if you go more than 6 feet off the back you are going to bogey the hole or lose your ball in the prickles.. I don't have that many shots to play with so I need to know what the best shot to hit is, and the best place to try and leave the ball - even if the shot doesn't come off. At Copthorne I have no problem zipping round in a couple of hours, I know the course well. The par5 8th is driver, 9-iron if you land just left of the tree to the right and get the run, the par5 13th is driver, 6-iron if you can get to the big oak tree on the left... I don't know what it is for 3 hybrids.

Thirdly.... actually I'm not going to write a thirdly, there's not a lot of need. All I can say is that when we play Hever on Sunday in our practice round for the Open I'm happy to let you guys tee off first and I'll follow along behind. I have never played that course either and actually want to play to WIN the event in May. Making a putt for double bogey and a point isn't really my cuppa tea, I'd rather look at the course planner and wonder if that ditch 320yds away is in range if my ball makes it to the downslope.
 
Sure.

Who else doesn't have their club ready?... pretty much everyone we play with has their driver in hand on any hole longer than 230yds.
 
Now who is the slowest golfer?

I think JustOneUK or could it be Smiffy's unnamed good mate. There's only one way to find out. FIIIGGGHHTTTT!!!!!!

:D :D :D :D
 
We had a slow round yesterday, had Smiffy played better we could have gotten in early with a 6&5 victory ;)... As it happened ours was the only match that went down the last hole to the very last putt (his putt actually!).

If that's not the type of golf that Smiffy enjoys being a part of then I can only apolgise that I didn't go birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, birdie, eagle, birdie..... and get us in for an early lunch.
 
Unless I don't know this mystery man there is no other person who fits this description...

"He's a low handicapped player and hits the ball beautifully (most of the time) and it's always a pleasure to watch him play. You could learn quite a bit from him to be honest."

There's not a player that I've seen who has something worth learning from unless it's his ability to roll fags with one hand! :)


...

You play golf regularly with someone else who has a low handicap? I'm intrigued now....
 
He's 9 that's not low, that's 3 shots lower than you, two chips and a putt.

He's not slow, he's wild and erratic. He's also your mate and you are playing friendly games where you dilly-dally along chatting with each other and rolling fags whilst looking for each others golf balls.

He also hits it a long way when he does happen to collar one so that puts him into the 'don't leap before you look' category. If you have trouble focusing on your own game when you play with him then you shouldn't play.
 
If you have trouble focusing on your own game when you play with him then you shouldn't play.

I didn't mention that I needed to "focus on my game". I said that my mate was slow.
I've noticed it, so have other people.
And as for him being two chips and a putt better than me?
Why, you're only two putts and a chip better than him!
:D
 
It'd be pointless telling someone that one the course. Just have a chat with them over a beer and point it out to them.

Don't make a big deal about it but be honest.
 
Just be honest with him. Having met him I think he'll be ok about it. To be honest I didn't have a problem at Leatherhead or RA with him. In fact me hacking it all over the shop was probably the root cause of any slow play and made him look quick.

Don't try and sugar coat and just tell him he needs to think about getting a lick on.
 
The question is, what is slow.

Some guys find 4 hours excessivly long, some guys think 4 1/2 is rushing. Hard to convince either camp they are wrong.

Me, 3 1/2 hours is perfect. And I don't run, or rush, and I bet I shoot a better score the faster it gets.

The key thing must be, keep up with the boys in front, for the whole 18, as otherwise you could be holding up the field. This applies from the first to the last.
 
To be honest providing its not raining I don't overly worry about the pace of play. I'm lucky to have an understanding wife and no kids to worry about so HID knows I'll be out most of the day. I hate playing with guys that seem to rush after every shot and are almost on the move before you've completed the follow through. If I get drawn with them in medals I make sure I play at my pace (being aware not to lose our place on the course or hold the following group up) and do things in my time.
 
Now me thinks some one is getting paranoid.

Not paraniod, it's referring to me. Norman doesn't fit the bill as he's neither a low h/cap (9) nor has anything worth learning. If it is referring to someone else then my feelings on the issue remain the same. The thing I dislike most is people moaning about slow play especially when they don't have the ability to go low. My second pet hate is people who are so obnoxious that they hit balls at the green whilst you are still on it... even though you can't go anywhere because there's 4 people waiting on the next tee!!!

Personally I'd never criticise someone who has a lower h/cap than me with regards to their pace of play unless they were playing by themselves and took 5 hours or they were 15 over their h/cap in a stableford. In a matchplay it's not relevent as they might only come in on the last couple of holes after having had a nightmare for the first 16... you never know in matchplay, winning is everything.

If Tiger woods turned up at my place with Phil and Paddy and they all took 5 hours to shoot 68's I'd be impressed that they could do that without seeing the course. I wouldn't expect them to be able to do it in 3½ hours... no way.

I also disagree with Murph about keeping up with play. If you spend 5 minutes looking for a ball then the group ahead are going to get away from you, if you lose another ball on the next hole then you've now given the group in front a 10 min head start... it matters not provided you are not holding up a group behind you in which case you should let them through.

It would be like going to play tennis and it took longer than expected because the rallies were so long... would you ask your playing partner or the opponent if they could possible NOT return the ball so often? I think not.

If you want a sport that has time frames to suit then I'd recommend chess on a timer.

If the guys in front appear to be playing as if it's the open then that is up to them. If there is space ahead then ask to go through, if not then the entire course is just going slow, it's that simple. Maybe the guys ahead are having their best ever rounds in which case I hope they do well.
 
JustOne UK

Why are you so desperate for it to be you who is the slow guy. Trust me if I thought it was me Smiffy was talking about, the last thing I would be doing is proclaiming myself as the guy who holds the golf course up.

You really must get over this! And yes you are paranoid, when someone tells you it's not you and you still keep arguing that is is, there is no other word for it.

Shark
 
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