Dementia Awareness

[Tashyboy]

I mentioned about some folks fixations with certain things when having dementia. Me dads is cowboy films. Ave just rung me mum re on BBC2 the John Wayne film is on “ she wore a yellow ribbon”. Dad’s watching it.
Bless him.

 

[Tashyboy]

So after much chasing around, we managed to get someone to sit with my dad for two hours whilst I took me mum down town to the bank, M and S, Savers, Aldi, market etc etc. When we left me dad was chatting away to a guy/ carer from Africa who pulled up outside the house in his Taxi.
Now the carer they sent, we had a meeting last week with the company to discuss me dads needs, his history, interests, medical conditions etc etc. We got back in time and the guy said his Cheerios. He seemed a nice sociable guy.
I asked me dad how it went. Not good. He couldn’t understand his accent, partly because of me dads hearing loss. The guy didn’t know about me dads coal mining, football or anything me dad tried talking about. However me dad does know all about the other guy. But the last 30 mins, he was on the phone talking about his taxi jobs he was booking. Suffice to say, me dad is not bothered about anyone else coming to sit with him again.
Now part of the reason of us getting someone to sit with me dad is to give peace of mind to me mum whilst she goes out. This was discussed with the company. I am seriously at a loss as to why they would send someone who does not have a clue about a persons history of 30-40-50-60 years ago. At some point I will have to speak to the company, but lord know where we go from here.Oh ah, th eBay left his NY baseball cap at me mums house as well.

 

[Robster59]

Very hard to know what to add to this Tash. You're trying to do your best but things like this happen out of your control. I'm sure you'll fed this back a it matters not just to your dad, but also to other people who need the same support. And push. People will try to find you off, so keep a record of your discussions, and make sure they know you're doing it. It really does focus their mind.

 

[Tashyboy]

Very hard to know what to add to this Tash. You're trying to do your best but things like this happen out of your control. I'm sure you'll fed this back a it matters not just to your dad, but also to other people who need the same support. And push. People will try to find you off, so keep a record of your discussions, and make sure they know you're doing it. It really does focus their mind.

Meeting this morning at 10.00 am with occ Therapist.Hopefully that goes well.

 

[Tashyboy]

So the meeting went well with the occ Therapist. She has come up with some good ideas. What wasnt a good idea was me dad getting a letter to do Jury service suffice to say that’s a no go. Mum saw an opportunity to bring up holidays abroad again. She is looking for any angle to get away and thought she could get the occ therapist onside. So once more I went through the stories of why they should not go. I ended up saying “ if me dad struggles to get to the dustbins which are 10 yards away. How does he get through the airport, coaches, hotels. Etc. I then reminded me mum he could not even get in a taxi on the drive without falling over.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Did she comment on your feedback regarding his "taxi" phone call?

 

[Tashyboy]

Did she comment on your feedback regarding his "taxi" phone call?

Missis T has just bent me ear to ring the Company that supplied the career. Ave just this min got off the phone to them. They are not impressed one bit.
Trying to get through to me mum coz they want to send someone else on Friday. Watch this space.

 

[Tashyboy]

Did she comment on your feedback regarding his "taxi" phone call?

the painful thing with Dementia as missis T said. Everyone is different. To that end she said her dad when he was at his worst would have physically throb him Outta the house.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Just read this in my newspaper today.
If you're affected hope you have a lovely family day.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

 

[Hobbit]

Mrs H’s mum’s last Christmas just seemed to happen around her. But where we all connected, where she was actually with us was when I put the carols on. She’d said, “I know this,” or sing along lost in her own thoughts.

We could still talk to her, even hold a conversation but to her she was talking to friendly strangers.

 

[RichA]

Mrs H’s mum’s last Christmas just seemed to happen around her. But where we all connected, where she was actually with us was when I put the carols on. She’d said, “I know this,” or sing along lost in her own thoughts.

We could still talk to her, even hold a conversation but to her she was talking to friendly strangers.

Music is amazing.
Mum loved music and, when her dementia meant she barely recognised her own family, she could remember the words to 80s pop songs playing on the radio that she wouldn't have heard for 30 years.
Dad was never that into music but whenever there's any kind of "concert" at his care home he'll either sing along or wave his arms like he's conducting.

 

[4LEX]

Very true. The singalongs around the piano were some of my Gran's best moments in her care home when she was suffering from this horrible illness. She passed away a few years back but I still pay for the tuning and maintenance of the piano and will do for as long as the home or I'm still here

 

[clubchamp98]

Very true. The singalongs around the piano were some of my Gran's best moments in her care home when she was suffering from this horrible illness. She passed away a few years back but I still pay for the tuning and maintenance of the piano and will do for as long as the home or I'm still here

That’s a very nice thing to do, well done Sir.

 

[4LEX]

That’s a very nice thing to do, well done Sir.

It really isn't much at all, works out around £100 a year so far but I will be doing a lot more for the place going forward. When you've been around these places on a regular basis you realise just how amazing the staff are and what they have to do deal with.

 

[IanM]

Next door's dad is starting to struggle with this. When he's away from his own house, he gets really disoriented and frustrated. Very sad to see. Too much of this about.

 

[Tashyboy]

When I picked up my parents yesterday, we got to our house and me dad had forgot his walking stick. It’s only 8-10 yds from the car to front door, slightly uphill. I said to him wait at the car ( he had got out) I said I would fetch a walking stick from inside some artillery shells * I have at the side of the front door. When I got back to him he was walking down the drive from the house. He had got confused and was walking the wrong way, it’s noticing little things like that.
I was talking to Bradley Tash whilst doing the dishes and he mentioned that he had noticed Grandad getting confused. I asked Bradley Tash If he knew the words to “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues. He did. I asked him to say the words. When he said “ an old man said to me won’t see another one”. I told him that could be Grandad Bob and that’s why I have enjoyed having all the family around. He kinda went quiet thinking about it and I got a lump in me throat.

* The 2 artillery shells, one is from during the first world war and the other just after.. the years are on the bottom.They are both engraved. Showing the a German eagle fighting a Belgian lion with the eagle above the Lion.The second shell shows the lion on top of the German eagle being victorious at the end of the war. Missis T bought me them years ago as a pressie when we saw something in Bruge. The shells have become a storage for pit deputies sticks, walking sticks etc. Layla Tash decided her pink brolley looked nice in there when she was about 6 yr old and it’s still there.

 

[irip]

My Mum has just called me to ask when Xmas day is, I tried to explain it had gone and we are doing it Tuesday but we are going to a restaurant rather than cooking at home.

She is having a better day today and tried to explain to me how for her days and weeks just merge together.
She says she can’t trust her brain anymore and it’s playing tricks on her.

We have bought the kids presents from her (and my dad) so they don’t have to worry about that.

I think early next year we need to discuss with them future living arrangements which could be interesting.

I have a few ideas but they still want their independence