An Ode to Golf

[Tiger]

The new season is coming
Because The Masters is near
Will it be one to remember
Or a golf year to fear?

See I've practiced all winter
In the wind and the rain
Though the weeks when it snowed
Were a terrible pain

I've braved the worst of the elements
To play on temporary greens
The course might have been shorter
But the putting obscene

I've taken numerous lessons
Read books by the score
But when I'm sat in the clubhouse
I've tried not to bore

I'm still inconsistent
As my scorecards will tell
I follow par with disaster
But I try not to yell

My short game is ropey
So I can't up and down
And each shot from the tee box
Gets a grin or a frown

My putting is solid
Except when I hit GIR
When my touch will desert me
And bogey goes on the card

Yet despite this frustration
Stuck on 28
I always want seconds
Piling golf high on my plate

I may well need assessment
A special coat and a cell
But I'm sure on this forum
There are others as well

So I'll enjoy all the banter
The highs and the lows
I'll tell you my stories
Please tell me yours

I hope a tale is now brewing
Of a wonderful round
I'll shoot way under handicap
And win a few pound

I'll be shouting eureka
About bloody time
But I left some shots out there
It was such a crime

I'll savour the moment
But in the back of my mind
That stupid three putt & duffed chip
Cost me big time

So I'll leave you to ponder
My rambling verse
This game is a blessing...

...but at times it's a curse!

 

[Smithster666]

haha thats awsome very good read

 

[Bunkers]

Very good...insomnia or a quiet night shift?

 

[Tiger]

Very good...insomnia or a quiet night shift?

Boring bus journey to the train station

 

[doubletripledouble]

I made one up about trying out new drivers, but it contained too many swear words to be allowed. Like a Kevin Bloody Wilson song on the Mary Whitehouse show, I don't think it would have went down too well.

 

[Yerman]

A Mizuno-mad golfer from Tring,
worked really hard on his swing.
At a demo he swung,
But the fan hit the dung,
When he realised he's holding a Ping.

guess who?