Am I a bad person?

FairwayDodger said:
Not hyperbole, I was giving a different analogy.

Sorry, I initially engaged very seriously with this thread but lost the plot a bit when I realised which advert had provoked it. Really doesn't seem much to do with homosexuality to me, just a pretty irritating advert.
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Sorry FD,
that advert was not the main point of my thread and did not instigate this thread.
My obviously flawed opinion is that more often than before it seems to be obligatory to show male on male deep throat kissing.
I repeat I dislike it, as I feel I am being brainwashed by the media.I may well be wrong but it is an honestly held belief.
I interpret that distasteful ad as reflecting homosexual values as portrayed in coverage of gay parades at times making the national and local news.
To me they seem to represent not a bid for equality but a bid for notoriety.
 
dewsweeper said:
Sorry FD,
that advert was not the main point of my thread and did not instigate this thread.
My obviously flawed opinion is that more often than before it seems to be obligatory to show male on male deep throat kissing.
I repeat I dislike it, as I feel I am being brainwashed by the media.I may well be wrong but it is an honestly held belief.
I interpret that distasteful ad as reflecting homosexual values as portrayed in coverage of gay parades at times making the national and local news.
To me they seem to represent not a bid for equality but a bid for notoriety.
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It's difficult really to comment when I obviously have a diametrically different opinion. As I said earlier, I can understand your discomfort but if any brainwashing has happened it was during your upbringing, it's by conservative commentators nowadays. There is very little visibility of gay people in the mainstream media, we are grossly underrepresented both in entertainment and in advertising. Often when there is a gay character he or she is portrayed negatively. It is vanishingly rare to have gay characters in programmes where their sexuality is just a facet of their personality and not a central focus of the the story.

This advert is an ugly parody of gay men which seems to have fed your prejudices. That's more grounds for complaint, to be honest, but even if a gay man complained about it I'd feel it an overreaction to something that was clearly meant to be a bit absurd.

Bottom line is that gay people exist, we are normal and you have the choice to switch off if you don't want to see it but why should we continue to be marginalised by such opinions?

I understand that some people find it hard to understand or relate to. You can't see that the attraction you feel for the opposite sex is exactly the same as someone else feels for the same sex. I've dealt with my parents and grandparents coming to terms with it. It confounded their expectations, their hopes, but someone they loved turned out to be gay. I'm sure they will subsequently have spent a lot of time thinking about some things they said in front of me growing up, before I came out and how it made my formative years more difficult. It could happen to anyone, it could happen to you if you have kids or grandkids.

So I don't expect people to see it on TV and automatically be comfortable and enjoy it. But I do want to live in a society where people accept that not everyone is the same and that people who are different should be able to see others like themselves on TV and in a positive light. So if you're uncomfortable about it, that's unfortunate but it's ok. But if you feel that your discomfort means you need to complain to try and prevent it from being shown, you're going to far and being unreasonable.

Live and let live.
 
FairwayDodger said:
It's difficult really to comment when I obviously have a diametrically different opinion. As I said earlier, I can understand your discomfort but if any brainwashing has happened it was during your upbringing, it's by conservative commentators nowadays. There is very little visibility of gay people in the mainstream media, we are grossly underrepresented both in entertainment and in advertising. Often when there is a gay character he or she is portrayed negatively. It is vanishingly rare to have gay characters in programmes where their sexuality is just a facet of their personality and not a central focus of the the story.

This advert is an ugly parody of gay men which seems to have fed your prejudices. That's more grounds for complaint, to be honest, but even if a gay man complained about it I'd feel it an overreaction to something that was clearly meant to be a bit absurd.

Bottom line is that gay people exist, we are normal and you have the choice to switch off if you don't want to see it but why should we continue to be marginalised by such opinions?

I understand that some people find it hard to understand or relate to. You can't see that the attraction you feel for the opposite sex is exactly the same as someone else feels for the same sex. I've dealt with my parents and grandparents coming to terms with it. It confounded their expectations, their hopes, but someone they loved turned out to be gay. I'm sure they will subsequently have spent a lot of time thinking about some things they said in front of me growing up, before I came out and how it made my formative years more difficult. It could happen to anyone, it could happen to you if you have kids or grandkids.

So I don't expect people to see it on TV and automatically be comfortable and enjoy it. But I do want to live in a society where people accept that not everyone is the same and that people who are different should be able to see others like themselves on TV and in a positive light. So if you're uncomfortable about it, that's unfortunate but it's ok. But if you feel that your discomfort means you need to complain to try and prevent it from being shown, you're going to far and being unreasonable.

Live and let live.
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That's a very thought provoking post. Thank you Karen.
 
FairwayDodger said:
It's difficult really to comment when I obviously have a diametrically different opinion. As I said earlier, I can understand your discomfort but if any brainwashing has happened it was during your upbringing, it's by conservative commentators nowadays. There is very little visibility of gay people in the mainstream media, we are grossly underrepresented both in entertainment and in advertising. Often when there is a gay character he or she is portrayed negatively. It is vanishingly rare to have gay characters in programmes where their sexuality is just a facet of their personality and not a central focus of the the story.

This advert is an ugly parody of gay men which seems to have fed your prejudices. That's more grounds for complaint, to be honest, but even if a gay man complained about it I'd feel it an overreaction to something that was clearly meant to be a bit absurd.

Bottom line is that gay people exist, we are normal and you have the choice to switch off if you don't want to see it but why should we continue to be marginalised by such opinions?

I understand that some people find it hard to understand or relate to. You can't see that the attraction you feel for the opposite sex is exactly the same as someone else feels for the same sex. I've dealt with my parents and grandparents coming to terms with it. It confounded their expectations, their hopes, but someone they loved turned out to be gay. I'm sure they will subsequently have spent a lot of time thinking about some things they said in front of me growing up, before I came out and how it made my formative years more difficult. It could happen to anyone, it could happen to you if you have kids or grandkids.

So I don't expect people to see it on TV and automatically be comfortable and enjoy it. But I do want to live in a society where people accept that not everyone is the same and that people who are different should be able to see others like themselves on TV and in a positive light. So if you're uncomfortable about it, that's unfortunate but it's ok. But if you feel that your discomfort means you need to complain to try and prevent it from being shown, you're going to far and being unreasonable.

Live and let live.
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You're a credit to yourself (and this forum) FD. Considering some of what is posted ,some but not all (and rarely meant to be) malicious, you continue to post in such a genuine and credible manner on what most would deem controversial subjects. Stay true and keep posting in that manner.
 
fundy said:
You're a credit to yourself (and this forum) FD. Considering some of what is posted ,some but not all (and rarely meant to be) malicious, you continue to post in such a genuine and credible manner on what most would deem controversial subjects. Stay true and keep posting in that manner.
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How lovely, you'll make me cry! Thank you! :)
 
fundy said:
You're a credit to yourself (and this forum) FD. Considering some of what is posted ,some but not all (and rarely meant to be) malicious, you continue to post in such a genuine and credible manner on what most would deem controversial subjects. Stay true and keep posting in that manner.
Click to expand...

I said as much a couple of years ago when there was a thread about genuine posters and for me FD is head & shoulders above most if not all, I may not agree at times in full or in part what Karen has written but it's always worth reading to get an alternative opinion and is always well put over, even when she uses words I have to Google because I'm a thickie 😜
 
FairwayDodger said:
It's difficult really to comment when I obviously have a diametrically different opinion. As I said earlier, I can understand your discomfort but if any brainwashing has happened it was during your upbringing, it's by conservative commentators nowadays. There is very little visibility of gay people in the mainstream media, we are grossly underrepresented both in entertainment and in advertising. Often when there is a gay character he or she is portrayed negatively. It is vanishingly rare to have gay characters in programmes where their sexuality is just a facet of their personality and not a central focus of the the story.

This advert is an ugly parody of gay men which seems to have fed your prejudices. That's more grounds for complaint, to be honest, but even if a gay man complained about it I'd feel it an overreaction to something that was clearly meant to be a bit absurd.

Bottom line is that gay people exist, we are normal and you have the choice to switch off if you don't want to see it but why should we continue to be marginalised by such opinions?

I understand that some people find it hard to understand or relate to. You can't see that the attraction you feel for the opposite sex is exactly the same as someone else feels for the same sex. I've dealt with my parents and grandparents coming to terms with it. It confounded their expectations, their hopes, but someone they loved turned out to be gay. I'm sure they will subsequently have spent a lot of time thinking about some things they said in front of me growing up, before I came out and how it made my formative years more difficult. It could happen to anyone, it could happen to you if you have kids or grandkids.

So I don't expect people to see it on TV and automatically be comfortable and enjoy it. But I do want to live in a society where people accept that not everyone is the same and that people who are different should be able to see others like themselves on TV and in a positive light. So if you're uncomfortable about it, that's unfortunate but it's ok. But if you feel that your discomfort means you need to complain to try and prevent it from being shown, you're going to far and being unreasonable.

Live and let live.
Click to expand...

Beautifully put :thup:
 
Fish said:
I said as much a couple of years ago when there was a thread about genuine posters and for me FD is head & shoulders above most if not all, I may not agree at times in full or in part what Karen has written but it's always worth reading to get an alternative opinion and is always well put over, even when she uses words I have to Google because I'm a thickie 😜
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And she'd beat most of us on the course as well 👍
 
Can't see what all the fuss is about personally. I couldn't give a hoot what other people get up to. As long as people are happy with their lot, I'm happy for them.
If you have a problem with gay people, then that's your problem. Life really is too short.
 
Very good post FD and indeed giving me much to ponder.
I am bowing out now for a period of self reflection.
As to my question, I have to state I do not feel "a bad person" just a little at odds with some aspects of modern society.
I will have to "get a life" or "suck it up" in modern parlance.
 
dewsweeper said:
Very good post FD and indeed giving me much to ponder.
I am bowing out now for a period of self reflection.
As to my question, I have to state I do not feel "a bad person" just a little at odds with some aspects of modern society.
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That's all anyone can ask of you. FWIW, I don't believe anything you've posted on this makes you a "bad person". :thup:
 
Re the op I don't think it makes you a bad person at all.

Thriughout time there here have been many changes of opinion on all number of things. Some trivial, others more serious. I think the fact you acknowledge your beliefs are the common ones show that you're aware of any short comings.

Generations were here taught things were wrong, to change those beliefs are difficult to say the least. You don't seem to show any maliciousness in your thoughts, simply a lack of understanding. As was said previously, I don think people of older age are wrong for their beliefs, the on,y danger is if younger people continue to share the beliefs.
 
Times change......so should we.
I am slightly younger than OP and I remember laughing at the scene in Porridge that featured the black Scot joke.

I pretty sure I would not laugh at it now
 
Times change a lot and it easy to get left behind in the society you grew up in. Go back a few generations and they would look down their nose at a woman who's dress wan't long enough to cover their ankles, let alone showing just about everything like a mini skirt does.

Older generations would have been disgusted the first time anything sexual was put on TV, but the younger ones would not have a problem. I remember Points of View on the BBC when I was younger and you would have people writing in to complain if they saw someone put their hand on someone in a sexual way before the watershed, but now it is the norm.

I think I'm from the first generation (I'm 40) that has an open minded approach to all people as that is the society we were brought up in. From the first lesbian scene on TV in Brookside, to racial and sexual harassment really becoming a total no-no in the workplace. Gay pride marches was something that you saw a lot about through the 80's and pop stars not being frightened of accepting their sexuality.

Is it wrong for people from previous generations to feel uncomfortable around same sex relationships, yes, but then you have to remember that was how they were brought up. Trying to change the mindset of someone who has been on the planet for over 40 years, being told that something is wrong, will always struggle to adapt.
 
Doon frae Troon said:
Times change......so should we.
I am slightly younger than OP and I remember laughing at the scene in Porridge that featured the black Scot joke.

I pretty sure I would not laugh at it now
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Pretty sure I would, because it's funny, as is the Fawlty Towers "took my girlfriend to see India" joke. I'm not remotely racist. I have black & Asian friends & you might be surprised how unoffended they are by so called racist comments, provided they know that no offence is being intended.
 
dewsweeper said:
Following on from another thread.
I do not like to see males kissing before the watershed.
It seems this had made me a sexist,homophobic person.
I do not think I am but I also dislike the advert for insurance featuring stereotypes of gays of both sexes posturing and hip grinding in the early afternoon.
I am almost certainly one of the older men on the forum and feel I have travelled a long way from my formative years in the 1940/s and 1950/s .
Just my view but I feel there is much more male on male sexual action on TV recently and that in itself is not the problem but the feeling to me that there is an agenda to this.
I await my condemnation with some trepidation.
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You are in the vast majority, you shouldn't therefore be made to feel you have a problem.
 
Rlburnside said:
Cant understand that reply, would suggest you re-read the post again and try to understand it better.:thup:
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Quote
I feel this is out of proportion and not a reflection of the world I live in and makes me feel uncomfortable watching.

my point on you saying that, is that it is a reflection of the world that you live in, just possibly not your street. Two males kissing on telly alla coronation st? Manchester has a large gay community based around canal st. Two males kissing in Manchester would not get a second look. Same in London, Brighton, Blackpool Nottingham, and probably a lot more places I have not mentioned.
You have mentioned about what would you say to your kids if they asked about two men kissing on telly. I would give that question some serious thought coz one day they will see it happen in the real world and may well ask that question.
I will totally agree with you re it possibly being an age thing. Some people are born and bred on old fashioned values and I for one am not going to knock that, but the world is changing quicker than some people can adapt to.

I will give you an example, my brothers lad came out. My brother rang the family to tell everyone. My kids said they had known for years but it was his business. My mother however who is 77 this year said quote " I still love Said grandson to bits, but when we have our Christmas do this year and he turns up in a dress I will have to say something"
My brother said " if I get hold of her I will be outta the will". She just did not know what was what and was ignorant to what she had been told.
PMSL when me brother told me though.

 
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