A sign of the times?

[bluewolf]

Pretty much correct Danny although I suspect even online dating is still dodgy as IP addresses can be traced and reported.

Looks like the human race is about to die out as people prefer not to have any contact with each other anymore in case someone gets offended

It looks like my approach of standing at the other side of the bar, occasionally looking over then looking away once eye contact is made, then spending the rest of the night trying to think of something urbane and charming, then realizing that she left an hour earlier so going getting a large pepperoni pizza and going home- is going to be the method of choice in the future mate...

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

I may have picked this up wrong due to skimming through the posts but no one’s seriously advocating that its acceptable to approach a women at a bus stop and say ‘you look nice' or 'that's a nice coat/bag/shoes’ as their opening line to start a conversation!


TAXI!


Oh and no way the women should be expected to say 'thank you' in reply

What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?

 

[PhilTheFragger]

What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?

Get real Gordon, that is so out of touch with reality

I mean when did you last use a bus

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Get real Gordon, that is so out of touch with reality

I mean when did you last use a bus

Good point!

 

[Slab]

What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?

Are you looking for advice on what's acceptable behaviour with the intention of changing because you realise the above is quite different to this:

I'm sorry but I fail to see how passing a nice comment such as 'I really like your coat/shoes/dress' or whatever to someone whilst waiting at a bus stop is pestering someone. I would call it passing the time of day until the bus turns up.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

Are you looking for advice on what's acceptable behaviour with the intention of changing because you realise the above is quite different to this:

No, I'm just asking what you think is acceptable.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

It looks like my approach of standing at the other side of the bar, occasionally looking over then looking away once eye contact is made, then spending the rest of the night trying to think of something urbane and charming, then realizing that she left an hour earlier so going getting a large pepperoni pizza and going home- is going to be the method of choice in the future mate...

I have just re-lived many an evening with that description. The only difference for me was I would swap the pizza for a quarter pounder with cheese, extra chilli sauce, no onions, from the kebab shop at the Haymarket Newcastle, no longer there. That managed to get me most of the way home walking back to my flat. Other than that we clearly had identical, soul destroying experiences. I'm pleased I am married and don't have to go through all of that again.

 

[Slab]

No, I'm just asking what you think is acceptable.

I don't believe what I think is acceptable interests you one iota

 

[Alex1975]

I work with mostly woman, I just did a quick poll in the office. I asked "if your walking down the street and you get wolf whistled is it a compliment or an annoyance?"

Compliment 5 (one comment of "I love it")

Annoyance 2


They are a diverse group of ladies.

 

[Hacker Khan]

To be honest, having met a few people commenting in this thread, if they started saying to strangers at bus stops that they looked nice they it would definitely fall into the creepy category. Me included.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

I don't believe what I think is acceptable interests you one iota

Yeah true, I just thought I would waste my time typing stuff on the internet.

 

[Sweep]

What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?

As many have said, it's all about context. If your intention is to have a nice chat it will usually come across that way, just as a leary persons intentions will be clear by the way the approach is made. I don't believe that any decent person with the right intentions would want to make another uncomfortable.
I do fear though that in this regard the professionally offended brigade are making this kind of interaction very difficult. All men are often seen in the same light and there is always the risk of a genuine attempt at small talk or complement being met with a sharp rebuke. Most of the time it's just easier not to bother. Nowadays I find myself not saying anything other than "hi" or maybe a quick smile and I would never even think about talking to a child. Quite a shame when you think about it.
In my experience women love to be complemented, as long as the complement is genuine with no strings attached.
Personally I wouldn't even dream of wolf whistling at a woman - except I do sometimes at Mrs Sweep.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

a few months ago I was in London shopping, walked into a department store, Think it was Fortnum & Mason, walked through the door and held it open for the person behind, who happened to be female and American.

Got a right rocket about her being perfectly able to open a door by herself, to which I replied that I was holding the door open for the next person irrespective of gender as a common courtesy, and that it was feminists like her that give male chauvinist pigs like me a bad name.

Took her a while to work this out and I just walked away shaking my head.

 

[Alex1975]

a few months ago I was in London shopping, walked into a department store, Think it was Fortnum & Mason, walked through the door and held it open for the person behind, who happened to be female and American.

Got a right rocket about her being perfectly able to open a door by herself, to which I replied that I was holding the door open for the next person irrespective of gender as a common courtesy, and that it was feminists like her that give male chauvinist pigs like me a bad name.

Took her a while to work this out and I just walked away shaking my head.

Sarcasm, they don't do it, you totally lost her with the "chauvinist pigs like me a bad name" bit.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

As many have said, it's all about context. If your intention is to have a nice chat it will usually come across that way, just as a leary persons intentions will be clear by the way the approach is made. I don't believe that any decent person with the right intentions would want to make another uncomfortable.
I do fear though that in this regard the professionally offended brigade are making this kind of interaction very difficult. All men are often seen in the same light and there is always the risk of a genuine attempt at small talk or complement being met with a sharp rebuke. Most of the time it's just easier not to bother. Nowadays I find myself not saying anything other than "hi" or maybe a quick smile and I would never even think about talking to a child. Quite a shame when you think about it.
In my experience women love to be complemented, as long as the complement is genuine with no strings attached.
Personally I wouldn't even dream of wolf whistling at a woman - except I do sometimes at Mrs Sweep.

Thank you, I think this post sums up the entire thread for me :thup:

 

[Liverbirdie]

I mean when did you last use a bus

Or something resembling the back end of one?

 

[Robobum]

I also don't think matching someone's pace when walking is an acceptable approach.

Im not going to speed up just so she can perv at my arse.

 

[williamalex1]

As many have said, it's all about context. If your intention is to have a nice chat it will usually come across that way, just as a leary persons intentions will be clear by the way the approach is made. I don't believe that any decent person with the right intentions would want to make another uncomfortable.
I do fear though that in this regard the professionally offended brigade are making this kind of interaction very difficult. All men are often seen in the same light and there is always the risk of a genuine attempt at small talk or complement being met with a sharp rebuke. Most of the time it's just easier not to bother. Nowadays I find myself not saying anything other than "hi" or maybe a quick smile and I would never even think about talking to a child. Quite a shame when you think about it.
In my experience women love to be complemented, as long as the complement is genuine with no strings attached.
Personally I wouldn't even dream of wolf whistling at a woman - except I do sometimes at Mrs Sweep.

Was Mrs Sweep not called Sue

 

[Robster59]

If you look at the original article from the lady involved then you will see it was more than a wolf whistle and more an ongoing harassment which is not acceptable.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/32493749/woman-goes-to-police-over-wolf-whistles
From the above, I actually don't blame her for reporting it as people should be able to walk down the street without being pestered by knuckle dragging mouth breathers (apologies to any Orang Utans reading this).

Of course, some people handle these things in different manners. A lady friend of mine tells a story about when her and a young girl walked into a bar in Glasgow and hadn't realised it was quite a rough one. As they walked through the door one bloke shouted at the young girl "Hey hen, do you want to come over here and sit on my face?" to the amusement of the regulars. Her quick-as-a-flash response was "Why? Is your nose bigger than your knob?" and everyone in the pub burst out laughing at the blokes expense. The other woman grabbed her and quickly escorted her back out of the pub.

Interesting about the American woman moaning about having the door held for her. I do it for manners for everyone but I heard a Radio discussion from women who thought being called Ladies was patronising. Now I do tend to refer to groups of women I approach to as Ladies, and blokes as Gents. So I asked in the office if women there found it offensive to be called Ladies and none of them did and couldn't understand why those on the Radio programme did.

 

[Sweep]

Was Mrs Sweep not called Sue

No, she ran off with Sooty, the cow.