A Sadness - but there is a silver lining - what is it?

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Well - just heard we have offers in for my mum's house. And we'll accept one of them. it was only put on the market last Saturday - and today it is sold. This is quite hard - and sad. It's been the family house for 51yrs...lots of love and hard work put into it by my parents - and now that they are both gone we have to let the house go also. Knowing that the new owners will probably gut it is hard - all my dads woodwork, kitchens, built in bedroom wardrobes etc will probably all go (he was a cabinetmaker but had to build with the wood my folks could afford).

And so whilst I knew this moment was coming - it has come so quickly - and a sadness has come over me.

Ach well. Will help pay off the mortgage - or I could decide to spend a few thousand on myself.

So come on all - please cheer me up by telling me what I could buy myself for a budget of say £2000 - pr maybe a little more.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Sorry to hear this. Lost my mum five years ago and put the house on the market as my dad had gone a few years earlier. Very painful experience, when it came to clearing it all out, especially as I lived there until I was in my late twenties so lots of love and memories attached for me as well. We were lucky that it was like your experience, all over very quickly (landlord, buy to rent bought it). On the plus side, without the money we had from the sale of my parents house, and the money from selling the house we were living in we'd never have afforded a four bed new build, with all the add ons we wanted, and be able to be mortgage free. Of course there is a sadness attached as neither parent will ever see it or the lovely garden my wife has created.

I hope whatever you decide to do with the cash it brings you a degree of happiness. Nothing will replace the loss but things have to move on

 

[ColchesterFC]

Ach well. Will help pay off the mortgage - or I could decide to spend a few thousand on myself.

So come on all - please cheer me up by telling me what I could buy myself for a budget of say £2000 - pr maybe a little more.

Mrs Colch lost her grandmother earlier in the year and got a modest inheritance. One thing she had always wanted was an embroidery sewing machine but had never been able to afford it. So once the will had been sorted she went straight out and got herself one.

My advice would be to buy yourself something that you've always wanted but couldn't justify getting before as you always had other things that were more important at the time or treat yourself to a holiday that you've always wanted to go on, somewhere that you otherwise might not be able to go. What that is, only you can decide, but I would say to use the money for something that will give you lasting memories.

 

[Marshy77]

Well - just heard we have offers in for my mum's house. And we'll accept one of them. it was only put on the market last Saturday - and today it is sold. This is quite hard - and sad. It's been the family house for 51yrs...lots of love and hard work put into it by my parents - and now that they are both gone we have to let the house go also. Knowing that the new owners will probably gut it is hard - all my dads woodwork, kitchens, built in bedroom wardrobes etc will probably all go (he was a cabinetmaker but had to build with the wood my folks could afford).

And so whilst I knew this moment was coming - it has come so quickly - and a sadness has come over me.

Ach well. Will help pay off the mortgage - or I could decide to spend a few thousand on myself.

So come on all - please cheer me up by telling me what I could buy myself for a budget of say £2000 - pr maybe a little more.

Buy a bespoke hand made cabinet in memory of your old man.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

A holiday to cheer you up. It's only bricks and mortar. The memories are in your head still.

 

[Hobbit]

We were there just a couple of years back Hogie, and coincidently the father-in-law was also a cabinet maker who had invested a huge amount of time and energy into the house. Its nice to get the mechanics of dealing with the estate out of the way but it does come with that bit of sadness you speak of.

So what did we do?

The mortgage is gone.
We did a family 'rememberance' meal, starting the occasion with a few words and a toast.
We had a holiday.
And HID got a car.

Mum-in-law was the last to go, although with Alzheimer's she went a few years before, and would often ask what we would do with the inheritance. She loved us sharing our dreams, including going off to Spain, and would often say she would 'visit' us there.

Good luck, and I hope you create some great new memories with a link to the past.

 

[GB72]

Agree with the holiday idea. Lost my dad about 18 months ago. Had already exchanged contracts on the sale of the property as the plan was they were going to rent and travel more. That meant that we had to move out of the family home the day after my dad' funeral. That was a hard day.

Anyway, my mum was left in a decent position and now she puts some money towards me and my wife going somewhere exotic every year and to the travelling that they were planning. She is very much behind the idea of collecting memories and not things and to see me off to exotic parts makes her happy. When I get back I always bring something back to put on my dad's grave for a while. When her time comes, I am sure that she would want me to go off somewhere nice and raise a glass for her.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Buy a bespoke hand made cabinet in memory of your old man.

We are fortunate to have lots of furniture that my old man built - and we'll probably have my parents bedroom suite. It was made by A Gardners & Sons of Glasgow (top tier quality furniture) - and those from Glasgow will know of their warehouse in Jamaica Street - the magnificent glass and iron building now a pub... This is the lovely bedroom suite they bought when the got married in 1954 - and my dad made a couple of bedside cabinets to match about 20yrs ago.

But it's a great idea. I love quality furniture (I wonder why) and we have never been able to afford any real quality older or antique pieces.

We have plans for travel next year. So that'll be good. My mum never went abroad (England was far enough for her) and never had a passport. Dad was just in the merchant navy in WWII mostly in the Med and Red Sea - and he had his fill of overseas back then - so he never had one either. As far as they were concerned - why would they go abroad when they lived in the most beautiful country in the world - and loved exploring it - occasionally coming south of the border to visit us . But maybe we'll go to a few of the ports my dad visited back then.

And I might buy myself some half decent HiFi kit for my Systemdek turntable - I've never been able to afford better HiFi components and I'm still running the Rotel receiver I bought when a student in 1976.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Keep in contact with buyer and ask for keepsakes if all they are going to throw them out.

I might well ask if they want to keep a little wall-fixed hall side table...

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

We were there just a couple of years back Hogie, and coincidently the father-in-law was also a cabinet maker who had invested a huge amount of time and energy into the house. Its nice to get the mechanics of dealing with the estate out of the way but it does come with that bit of sadness you speak of.

So what did we do?

The mortgage is gone.
We did a family 'rememberance' meal, starting the occasion with a few words and a toast.
We had a holiday.
And HID got a car.

Mum-in-law was the last to go, although with Alzheimer's she went a few years before, and would often ask what we would do with the inheritance. She loved us sharing our dreams, including going off to Spain, and would often say she would 'visit' us there.

Good luck, and I hope you create some great new memories with a link to the past.

I like this idea - we are a big close extended family - brother, sister, cousins and second cousins and their husbands and wives - and they were all very close to my mum and dad. Might well throw a party and invite everyone.

 

[BristolMike]

I would look at something like a watch. It will be something you will always have/won't become obsolete and it will be close to you all the time.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

I would look at something like a watch. It will be something you will always have/won't become obsolete and it will be close to you all the time.

Yes - something else I've never been able to afford...

 

[BristolMike]

Yes - something else I've never been able to afford...

Ideal thing to buy then really, you really will be able to keep it forever too

 

[AMcC]

Sorry to hear of your sad news, something that you would never have bought / afforded previously sounds like a great way to remember them and the house, I bet you still refer to it as home even after all the years away.
When my wife's gran died she left a little money and my wife got her eyes lasered, best thing she ever done she said. You may get money on occasions and not remember how you spent it but not that one.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

A late offer has come in - and they are the best offer. But this is bizarre - the couple who have made the offer currently live in the same street in Glasgow that we lived in before we moved all those years ago.

 

[williamalex1]

Sad times Hugh, but you still have the memories and now some extra cash.
You could always treat me to a round at Turnberry and I'll cheer you up :thup:

 

[jim8flog]

Silver linings can come out of sad times.

Shortly after my mother died I had to give up work to look after my wife and bring up the children. The inheritance made the difference for us financially so we never had to worry about money as well as my wife's illness.

We both agreed to buy one 'luxury' item with some of the money because my mum would have wanted us to.

 

[Norrin Radd]

what to buy for 2k ,hmmmmm,how about a scottish premiership team.
you would have a fair wedge left over to spend on new shiny things.

 

[Tashyboy]

I worked in the mining industry for 36 yrs, over 20 of them years were in the medical centre. 99.9% of the job I learned to do with my eyes shut. The other 0.1% I struggled with. Men leaving this life before there time due to the conditions they worked in. During the first year I had retired at 52, I went to two funerals of lads I worked with for years. One 50 and one 56. The turn outs for them was fantastic. All said there gone before there time. It emphasised my " mantra". Leave this life full of memories and not dreams. Get things done.
SILH, by the sounds of you post you have enough happy memories of your family to last a dozen lifetimes. However you are also finding that having money now creates as many problems as having no money. I call it a happy problem. It's not just about having money, but it goes against the grain of spending that much, our upbringing of counting the pennies, our parents doing without so we had. Etc etc. Having said that, the family get together ticks all boxes for me. Being a watch man also ticks all the boxes. Whatever you do it is your decision ( inc family ) and no one else's irrespective of whether they would of done that or not.
Good luck with it me man.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Thanks to all for the kind words of support and suggestions. I count myself blessed and very fortunate to have been brought up as I was and to have had parents of their generation - who knew the value of everything and instilled individual values that I have tried (not always successfully) to live by and have tried to pass on to my children. Caring; consideration for others, and respect.

And so - onwards and upwards