What would you have done please?

[3offTheTee]

Played one of my best mates in match play today. We go out with his wife and himself and are therefore close but there is always an extremely competitive game.

Money was at stake and of more importance honour. On the 3rd hole I was just short of the green and he was struggling to find his ball. After 5 minutes he gave up and told me to pick my ball up and I was nearly at the next tee when guess what he found his ball. No question of cheating re the finding of the ball. He asked me to go back and replace my ball and he continued as if nothing had happened.

We halfed the hole which meant he won the front 9.

If the roles had been reversed I would not have considered the option he took.

What would you do in similar circumstances in a 'friendly match' bearing in mind he is such a close friend ?

 

[vig]

If he told you to pick up, he conceded the hole. End of.

You cannot then un-concede it

 

[KeefG]

What would you do in similar circumstances in a 'friendly match' bearing in mind he is such a close friend ?

I wouldve told him exactly what vig says - sorry fella but you conceeded the hole, end of story!

Your friend has robbed you

 

[HomerJSimpson]

The rules are quite clear. Once a hole has been conceeded that is the end of the matter and can't be replayed or continued in any form

 

[Yerman]

I probably would have done the same as you, not worth falling out for though I'd consider more carefully playing him for money again.

 

[Handycap]

As this was a friendly and not a qualifying game, the result has had no impact on anyone other than those that were playing in your friendly.

In the eyes of the rules of golf, he has unquestionably conceded the hole by giving up looking for his ball and asking you to pick your's up. However, this was on the third hole and you went on to play six more holes, presumably without clearing up the infringement from the third. In your own mind, did you think I'm not going to say anything, but if I win this match I will have the knowledge that I beat him by a greater amount than he believes to be the case. Because this infringement was not sorted out at the time it occurred, it has made it difficult/awkward for you to invoke your right to claim the match.

Again, there is no question that you have won the match, but as it was a friendly you made it worse for yourself by not sorting out the problem before continuing the game. If it were a qualifying game you should not sign the card as an infringement had taken place.

If it were me, and it was a non-qualifying friendly match but there was money on it, I would definitely say something at the time the infringement took place. In the same circumstances but without a cash wager, I would probably be inclined to let it go and consider it a challenge to do my level best to beat him. If I lost the game I would concede defeat.

The question I find I'm asking myself is; if I were your playing partner and I found my ball, should I even consider asking you if it would be OK to continue the hole and you replace your ball? I think if money were at stake, I wouldn't put you in that position and would concede and say nothing. If there were no money involved I would accept an offer from you to continue the hole and you replace your ball, but I still would not instigate that option, the offer would have to come from you. Again, if there were money on it, I wouldn't accept your kind offer.

I'm sure your friend is a good guy, but in the heat of battle the competitive nature in people can reveal certain traits that don't otherwise show themselves off the course, and I for one would not have put you in this position.

 

[Ste_Denial]

if it was me i would have just put my ball down and played. there is no reason falling out over a game is there

 

[haplesshacker]

Is his name 'Boycey' from Only Fools And Horses!?

Seriously though. He shouldn't have put you in that position and possibly only did so for 'one-up-manship'. If he can't lose graciously to a 'friend', what is he like in a 'proper' competion? The occasional use of the 'leather' wedge to improve his lie, etc!?

 

[3offTheTee]

Handicap. Your sentiments are exactly as my own. I won the back 9 and the match. Different people have different principles in the quest for victory.

Obviously if we were playing in a competition I would not have allowed the situation to develop and would have taken the hole without question. The 'friend' probably did not think he was doing anything wrong. In the past he used to play a rule, not with me that if he lost his ball he would take a penalty from where he thought his ball ended up that is 1 shot rather than stroke and distance.

Need I say more

 

[Tommo21]

Sorry, I don’t know who you are, but why did you go play it again. These rules are not there to be messed about with and I don’t see this guy as a best mate. I’ve played for a long time and I’ve never had a so called mate do this. Does this guy have some hold over you, and I cant believe some on here are even agreeing with what you/he done.

You talk about competitive game and honour. This is not competitive and there is no honour whatsoever in what happened.

Oh, this was not a friendly game…………friends don’t do this to friends.

 

[Ste_Denial]

The occasional use of the 'leather' wedge to improve his lie, etc!?

never heard that one before, i like it

 

[mono217]

End of he has conceded that is the matter finished.

 

[Handycap]

3offTheTee,
I'm so happy to hear you won the match, the taste of victory must have been the sweeter for it!

Tommo, you've got to lighten up. Under the circumstances of a non-qualifier there are certain options that are unavailable in competition. If all parties accept one shot penalty for a lost ball then fair enough. I prefer to play stroke and distance but won't force the rule if the suggestion of a one stroke penalty is made. The option to go back to the tee is time consuming and a drag in friendly play. I won't defer to any request but equally I wont antagonise an opponent over what I consider an acceptable compromise.

Edit
I realise you didn't quote the lost ball scenario, but judging from your previous post you wouldn't accept that in friendly play either.

I suppose there is a case for playing under qualifying rules at all times. Failure to do so may lead to mistakes and misinterpretation of the rules of golf in official competition. But there are times when I want a hassle free game of golf to relax after a busy working week, and I'm not prepared to sacrifice relaxation for stress. I will always point out the rules as I understand them to be, but will play a friendly game as it should be played.

 

[Handycap]

End of he has conceded that is the matter finished.

Another thought provoking opinion....

 

[Herbie]

He suckered you, and he's not much of a mate if he goes back on a conceeded hole and then expects you to play it out. Thats what a cheat does Is he the Alpha male in your friendship?

 

[Tommo21]

3offTheTee,
I'm so happy to hear you won the match, the taste of victory must have been the sweeter for it!

Tommo, you've got to lighten up. Under the circumstances of a non-qualifier there are certain options that are unavailable in competition. If all parties accept one shot penalty for a lost ball then fair enough. I prefer to play stroke and distance but won't force the rule if the suggestion of a one stroke penalty is made. The option to go back to the tee is time consuming and a drag in friendly play. I won't defer to any request but equally I wont antagonise an opponent over what I consider an acceptable compromise.

Edit
I realise you didn't quote the lost ball scenario, but judging from your previous post you wouldn't accept that in friendly play either.

I suppose there is a case for playing under qualifying rules at all times. Failure to do so may lead to mistakes and misinterpretation of the rules of golf in official competition. But there are times when I want a hassle free game of golf to relax after a busy working week, and I'm not prepared to sacrifice relaxation for stress. I will always point out the rules as I understand them to be, but will play a friendly game as it should be played.

Away man, nothing to lighten up about. There is no honour in this whatsoever and how is it an acceptable compromise. So here is the quote “after 5 minutes he GAVE UP and told me to PICK up my ball” there is no compromise after that.

If this guy was a close mate then surely you can say “sod off the hole is mine MATE” in a light hearted way of course. Are we honestly suggesting some fall out would have ensued if he didn’t go with his mates own rules….surely not.

 

[madandra]

Harvey I can see where you are coming from but here is my dilemma:


I have mates I could tell to bu66er off and take the hole but I also have mates who would expect to play on and finish (their idea of finish) the hole.

 

[Handycap]

I've already given my opinion that the hole should have been conceded under the circumstances that the o p set out.

My last post was a generalisation of friendly play.

I consider it insulting that 3offTheTee is being branded as a soft touch and lacky, unable to stand up for himself.

I found HNJ's comment particularly distasteful.

 

[Tommo21]

Harvey I can see where you are coming from but here is my dilemma:


I have mates I could tell to bu66er off and take the hole but I also have mates who would expect to play on and finish (their idea of finish) the hole.

Andra, you're getting soft in your young age.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I do think he's taking advantage of your good nature. I have some very good mates who on a roll up will drop a ball in the rough and play out the hole but they know there is no way they'll have any sort of score kept for that hole or be able to claim even a half. We'll play outside of the rules in the context of a lost ball to keep play moving but not outside the rules like you in terms of playing a match. Rules are rules and it actually takes a bigger man to stand up for the truth and say that he was wrong in trying to claim the hole.

At the end of the day though only you know the true depth of the friendship and whether its worth jepardizing over a silly incident. If the incidents were a regular occurence though, then in your shoes I'd be questioning my friend, his morals and his motives.