The Red Mist!!

mikee247

mikee247

Challenge Tour Pro
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Messages
618
Visit site
Hi gents,

I've been playing for a fair few years now and been in single figures for quite a few of those albeit not now.. I have always been a somewhat "passionate" competitive player who enjoyed the challenge but did take the knocks as well as the rewards. Just recently however I have had a loss of form again but become more angry and reactive to poor shots or complete tosh than ever before. To be honest I've shocked myself how bad its become and how difficult it is to control myself to the fact the one day I did the unspeakable.... and chucked my sand wedge.... a long way!! In fact further than I hit the ball!!! And that's only the half of what the whole rounds reactions were like! I am seriously ashamed of this and fully aware that is not the way to behave and have given myself a good talking too and suspended myself accordingly. I am a big fan of rules, regs and the ethics of the sport but now find myself acting like a spoilt Tiger Woods on the course and hate it!!

My question to you fellow golfers is as follows: Is there something or someway I can get a grip of this increasing frustration and channel it perhaps? I am aware it is just a game and shouldn't be taken seriously (yeah right!) but as golfers and sportsman we know its more than that. I am also aware that I should try and not get angry but is there a method or process that others who have had the same issues employed that allows them to keep cool in times of strife?

I love the game and look forward to playing but when I get on the course sometimes I cant wait to get off!

Any help and input appreciated but please I am fully aware that I am in the "dog house" as no one is a bigger critic of me than me!

Thanks for listening.
 
Hey mike, you sound like 2 mates of mine that suddenly get tourettes on the golf course! It verges on embarrasing at times!

I suppose you just need to get your mindset right pre 1st tee, tell yourself you might hit some bad shots, but if you do, its not the end of the world and you can make a mends on the next shot/hole...

PS. I am a newbury"ite" too! so if you ever need a playing partner for DG, drop me a line!
 
If you are a competitive person that anger will always be lurking, you can temper it with perspective though.

I am not talking about 'its only a game'...I am talking about next time you walk past someone who is in a wheel chair or a homeless person on the street. Then it really sinks in how angry your bad shots should make you. Get a suitable image/thought and hold it in your head next time you are about to erupt
 
It's all very well us telling you to not get angry as it's not worth it, and Luke Donald can accept his bad shots so why can't you, but I appreciate it's not as easy as that.

I'd suggest reading a sports psychology book. I'd recommend...

Golf is not a game of perfect - Bob Rotella
Zen Golf - Joseph Parent
The inner game of tennis - Tim Galway (sp?)

The general gist is that you wouldn't pay a caddie to treat you like you treat yourself on the course, so why do it?

There is a technique suggested in Zen Golf for eradicating bad habits. If you're interested but don't want to read the book I'll outline it here.
I posted it a while ago for one of our lady forum members (Amanda?) but haven't heard if it worked or not.
I've not tried it myself.
 
Zen Golf by Joseph Parent; Give it one read through, I defy anyone not to take anything positive from it. Not only is it a calming read but he gives practical advise on how to break bad habits.

For example, the next time you go for a round have a column of your scorecard set aside and put A for Anger on top of it. Every time you lose your temper, mark it next to your score. Don't judge yourself, or dwell on it. Just mark it. First time round you'll probably have a few, with the aim that next time you will have less.

The point of this is not a sort of game where you score less next time round, the point is that you catch yourself earlier and earlier in the process of becoming angry. Soon you won't get to the club-throwing stage because once you feel the red mist rising you say - hang on, it's happening, and there's no advantage to letting it, so I'll just let it go.

It's a great book that puts golf in perspective, worth a few measly quid every day of the week.

Finally, stop being so harsh on yourself, okay you lost it but there's no point re-digesting past regrets, forgive yourself and get back on the golf course with a cleared head, if you don't think you can do it now, read the book and I'm sure you will.
 
Region3 said:
It's all very well us telling you to not get angry as it's not worth it, and Luke Donald can accept his bad shots so why can't you, but I appreciate it's not as easy as that.

I'd suggest reading a sports psychology book. I'd recommend...

Golf is not a game of perfect - Bob Rotella
Zen Golf - Joseph Parent
The inner game of tennis - Tim Galway (sp?)

The general gist is that you wouldn't pay a caddie to treat you like you treat yourself on the course, so why do it?

There is a technique suggested in Zen Golf for eradicating bad habits. If you're interested but don't want to read the book I'll outline it here.
I posted it a while ago for one of our lady forum members (Amanda?) but haven't heard if it worked or not.
I've not tried it myself.
Click to expand...

Ha! Snap, and that's more or less the technique, I used it to stop myself thinking about past bad shots or future conversations I was having in my head instead of playing the shot in front of me and it definitely works.
 
I just say "Noooooo" and then get on with it. My swearing comes in the general conversation and isn't anything to do with the ball or my swing.

Wait til you see some 14yr old kid doing what you are... it just looks knobby... as do those pratts who then smack their club on the floor or damage the course as if they're some kind of superstar who expects to play 'TV golf' everytime they hit a ball.

I hope you deal with it... buy some sweets and eat one after every bad shot.. you'll either become very fat and quit or play better.......... or sick of sweets! :D
 
Region3 said:
It's all very well us telling you to not get angry as it's not worth it, and Luke Donald can accept his bad shots so why can't you, but I appreciate it's not as easy as that.

I'd suggest reading a sports psychology book. I'd recommend...

Golf is not a game of perfect - Bob Rotella
Zen Golf - Joseph Parent
The inner game of tennis - Tim Galway (sp?)

The general gist is that you wouldn't pay a caddie to treat you like you treat yourself on the course, so why do it?

There is a technique suggested in Zen Golf for eradicating bad habits. If you're interested but don't want to read the book I'll outline it here.
I posted it a while ago for one of our lady forum members (Amanda?) but haven't heard if it worked or not.
I've not tried it myself.
Click to expand...

Thanks so far guys v useful. Ive read Dr Bobs stuff and it does help with he confidence and mental side of the game so will try again. Hey it work for Darren Clarke! I think I need something simple like a trigger for when the wheels inevitably come off that stops me from boiling over like neglected pan of spuds !!
 
Region3 said:
It's all very well us telling you to not get angry as it's not worth it, and Luke Donald can accept his bad shots so why can't you, but I appreciate it's not as easy as that.

I'd suggest reading a sports psychology book. I'd recommend...

Golf is not a game of perfect - Bob Rotella
Zen Golf - Joseph Parent
The inner game of tennis - Tim Galway (sp?)

The general gist is that you wouldn't pay a caddie to treat you like you treat yourself on the course, so why do it?

There is a technique suggested in Zen Golf for eradicating bad habits. If you're interested but don't want to read the book I'll outline it here.
I posted it a while ago for one of our lady forum members (Amanda?) but haven't heard if it worked or not.
I've not tried it myself.
Click to expand...

Not sure if it was for me but today Amazon delivered said book so looking forward to some quiet time to read it.

Curls said:
Zen Golf by Joseph Parent; Give it one read through, I defy anyone not to take anything positive from it. Not only is it a calming read but he gives practical advise on how to break bad habits.

For example, the next time you go for a round have a column of your scorecard set aside and put A for Anger on top of it. Every time you lose your temper, mark it next to your score. Don't judge yourself, or dwell on it. Just mark it. First time round you'll probably have a few, with the aim that next time you will have less.

The point of this is not a sort of game where you score less next time round, the point is that you catch yourself earlier and earlier in the process of becoming angry. Soon you won't get to the club-throwing stage because once you feel the red mist rising you say - hang on, it's happening, and there's no advantage to letting it, so I'll just let it go.

It's a great book that puts golf in perspective, worth a few measly quid every day of the week.

Finally, stop being so harsh on yourself, okay you lost it but there's no point re-digesting past regrets, forgive yourself and get back on the golf course with a cleared head, if you don't think you can do it now, read the book and I'm sure you will.
Click to expand...

Just what I needed to read after my past few days on the course and range. Postie delivered it today and my plan is to take some time away from a golf club and read this instead and see where I'm at. At the moment I'm digging the hole I've found for myself deeper and my calluses/hands/ribs/head hurts with trying to fix it :(
 
If your health insurance covers free phone councilling I would suggest trying a quick call, make it more general than just golf related if needed (stress numbers for work paid insurance)

This could really help, just chatting to a professional might be just what you need!
 
AmandaJR said:
Just what I needed to read after my past few days on the course and range. Postie delivered it today and my plan is to take some time away from a golf club and read this instead and see where I'm at. At the moment I'm digging the hole I've found for myself deeper and my calluses/hands/ribs/head hurts with trying to fix it :(
Click to expand...

Takes a few reads to digest everything, in fact I'm on read number 4 or 5 and don't think I've taken everything I can from it, in fact with the start of the season looming I reckon it's worth another run, some great advise in there and will absolutely help with your beating-yourself-up problem!
 
All good advice.

Some other thoughts from someone a bit like you....

I work shifts, and sometimes play when I haven't had enough sleep. It's really hard to keep the mind working well in these circumstances, so give yourself a break if you're going into a round in sub-optimal shape.

Give yourself a better chance of staying cool by mimimising pre-round stress. Eat and drink in plenty of time before a game, have all your kit packed and cleaned well before, get there in plenty of time.

Try and give yourself a bit of time to warm up and minimise the risk of early bad holes which can be really hard to recover from mentally - hit a few balls, hit a few pitches, chips, bunker shots and putts. Then, if you mare one up, at least your subconcious knows that you've given yourself all the help you could and is less likely to start on the 'why didn't you warm up/hit a few' beating up routine.

When you're playing, hit shots where the bad shot is not a disaster. A thinned lob wedge around the green is BAD, a thinned 8 iron chip will probably end up about 5 foot further away than your sunday best. One will make you cross, the other will make you grin apologetically at your partners as you roll in the par putt.

Spend some time learning how to pitch, chip and putt well. If you think you've still got a chance of rescuing a bogey or par from a duffed iron in then it's much less likely that you'll be so cross about it.

If you don't have one already, think about using a trolley. You'll be less tired on the second half of the round and therefore more able to make sensible decisions and manage your mind well.

In summary (sorry for the length), don't just work on immediate red mist control (though that's a good idea too), but put strategies in place to reduce the chances of being in that situation.

One final thing (sorry) - I learned a lot recently when I was playing a really good round and one of my mates was chopping about a bit and getting a little hacked off. From my (rare) position on the moral high ground it was obvious that he wasn't doing himself any favours, and gave me a few thoughts on how to handle it all a bit better when I am (inevitably) in the same position next time. So when you play well, think about how to play badly better !
 
An on course technique I got from GM magazine last year has helped me, it is a breathing exercise similar to the counting to 10 old chestnut. After you hit a bad shot and you feel the red mist descending, pick something 50yrds or so away from you eg a tree, bush, post etc and focus on that. Then take a deep breath and hold it while still focusing on this object, after about 5 seconds expel all of the air in your body towards this object, kind of like "exorcising the demons" . Its probably just a method of taking your mind off the bad shot but I know it helps me.

Its taken 23 yrds off my wedge throws already:thup:
 
Forget all the books etc , take a morning off & visit your local hospital , go to the cancer ward or the burns unit if they have one .. if that doesnt put your golf in prespective (sp) nothing will .. youl realise how lucky you are to even play crappy golf & you will learn to take it all in your stride mate ..
 
Lots of good advice in the posts above.

But one thing I have always said is "you can't escape your own head".

Which sounds odd but when you're out there and it goes wrong, perspective and some guys book are very much forgotten.

This sounds to me like a reaction to you not playing like you previously have.

I don't have any advice as such, mainly because I am a critic of myself too.

Keep plugging away and it will return, but forcing it may make it alot worse!

Ash!!
 
bladeplayer said:
Forget all the books etc , take a morning off & visit your local hospital , go to the cancer ward or the burns unit if they have one .. if that doesnt put your golf in prespective (sp) nothing will .. youl realise how lucky you are to even play crappy golf & you will learn to take it all in your stride mate ..
Click to expand...
When you have an immediate emotional reaction to a negative outcome the furthest thing from your mind is how lucky you are. It just doesn't work like that. When we are in a rational logical state of mind we can appreciate things could always be worse but when your in the moment you will react to the outcome based on the importance you attach to it. I'm not sure anyone wants to have a thought of how much worse their life could be before every single shot to be honest. I certainly don't.
 
I think I need something simple like a trigger for when the wheels inevitably come off
Click to expand...

I think it's not so much anger but frustration.
You know you can do it...you've done it before.

I would suggest rather than waiting for 'the inevitable' to happen, you should try and improve your game to where you know you used to play.
Have a long look at your game and see where you're losing your shots, then do something about it.

I think you'll find it's a more positive course of action...rather than looking for ways of dealing with 'the inevitable'.

Prevention is better than a cure.
 
Airlie_Andy said:
When you have an immediate emotional reaction to a negative outcome the furthest thing from your mind is how lucky you are. It just doesn't work like that. When we are in a rational logical state of mind we can appreciate things could always be worse but when your in the moment you will react to the outcome based on the importance you attach to it. I'm not sure anyone wants to have a thought of how much worse their life could be before every single shot to be honest. I certainly don't.
Click to expand...

I do see your point , i would be looking at it from a slightly different angle ,
I would be more inclined to have the permenent attitude that this is only a sport , i am an amatuer i am going to top shots duf shots etc , i think if you are upsetting yourself playing what is your past time regarding the OP comments
"To be honest I've shocked myself how bad its become and how difficult it is to control myself to the fact the one day I did the unspeakable.... and chucked my sand wedge.... a long way!! In fact further than I hit the ball!!! And that's only the half of what the whole rounds reactions were like! I am seriously ashamed of this and fully aware that is not the way to behave "

Its time to put the game in prespective, if this is what you do to relax is doing to you .. ok i dont expect you to be happy with a bad shot, it will upset you if you have any competitive streak at all inside you , but it sems to me the OP has lost the point of this game . relaxation , fun , enjoyment etc .. that was my point does anyone realy wana end up feeling the way the OP said he did ?
"I love the game and look forward to playing but when I get on the course sometimes I cant wait to get off!"

Mikee i hope you get the mojo back soon man
 
Being angry with yourself is a lot better than being angry with others. Self anger is an extreme example of mental frustration.
One thing worth trying is to decide how many duff shots you are prepared to make during the round. This will depend on your handicap;so for a low H/C allow say three, mid six and high ten The number is a personal decision but at least on the first duff shot instead of screaming at yourself you can simply count it as one of your allowances.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

F
23.4 how bad am I?
2
Replies
26
Views
945
Imurg
Imurg
C
Mid-Cheshire Clubs
Replies
5
Views
275
Captain_Obvious
C
B
Membership Quandary
Replies
13
Views
818
Golf is fun
G
Orikoru
2026 Targets
2 3
Replies
55
Views
2K
jamielaing
jamielaing
A
First time with stranger.......
2
Replies
37
Views
3K
AndrewK
A
Top