The dangers of mouthwash

Hobbit

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Picture this if you may.

The Hobbit heads off towards the bathroom for the morning ritual. Sat there he spots the bottle of mouthwash that has fought off many gallant attempts to be opened. Being a tenacious Hobbit he attacks the bottle with a gathering frenzy reminiscent of Bilbo's battle with the dragon, Smaug.

Nail clippers and nail file are deployed in a pincer movement that Rommel would have been proud of, and the bottle was finally defeated. During the battle the mouthwash used one of its last weapons, the mouthwash itself.

Been a wise Hobbit, toilet roll was used to mop up the spillages, and the hands were thoroughly washed. Ha, you ain't catching me out with any last minute revenge.

Abultions are concluded, and Hobbit grabs a handful of loo roll, only to be found 30 secs later kneeling in the bath, bent over with the shower figment in hand squirting cold water on the unmentionables. The sound emanating from the Hobbit was only heard by cats and small children.

Hobbit is sat on a couple of cushions with GAC liberally smeared in places that rarely see daylight. And no, we won't be going out today!
 

JohnnyDee

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Picture this if you may.

The Hobbit heads off towards the bathroom for the morning ritual. Sat there he spots the bottle of mouthwash that has fought off many gallant attempts to be opened. Being a tenacious Hobbit he attacks the bottle with a gathering frenzy reminiscent of Bilbo's battle with the dragon, Smaug.

Nail clippers and nail file are deployed in a pincer movement that Rommel would have been proud of, and the bottle was finally defeated. During the battle the mouthwash used one of its last weapons, the mouthwash itself.

Been a wise Hobbit, toilet roll was used to mop up the spillages, and the hands were thoroughly washed. Ha, you ain't catching me out with any last minute revenge.

Abultions are concluded, and Hobbit grabs a handful of loo roll, only to be found 30 secs later kneeling in the bath, bent over with the shower figment in hand squirting cold water on the unmentionables. The sound emanating from the Hobbit was only heard by cats and small children.

Hobbit is sat on a couple of cushions with GAC liberally smeared in places that rarely see daylight. And no, we won't be going out today!


I myself have suffered similar discomfort after having been making one of my infamous chillies and then forgetting to ablute the mits when finished.

I share your pain.
 

PhilTheFragger

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That put me right off my brunch :)

Havnt laughed so much in ages, hope the pain is subsiding Brian :)

Do they have stronger mouthwashes way up north? :)
 

6inchcup

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:)we used to rub winter green/fiery jack inside mates jock strap when we played rugby, how we laughed when they put them on,i did it to one of my old pro team mates and how the other lads laughted as he broke my jaw,happy days
 

Norrin Radd

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i have done similar ,but with deep heat.
had a dead leg after playing footy and after a nice hot bath rubbed the deep heat into my thigh. then went to bed . well i must have given the family jewels a rub as i woke up with burning nuts .
not something i wish to repeat i can tell you.
 

SocketRocket

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Picture this if you may.

The Hobbit heads off towards the bathroom for the morning ritual. Sat there he spots the bottle of mouthwash that has fought off many gallant attempts to be opened. Being a tenacious Hobbit he attacks the bottle with a gathering frenzy reminiscent of Bilbo's battle with the dragon, Smaug.

Nail clippers and nail file are deployed in a pincer movement that Rommel would have been proud of, and the bottle was finally defeated. During the battle the mouthwash used one of its last weapons, the mouthwash itself.

Been a wise Hobbit, toilet roll was used to mop up the spillages, and the hands were thoroughly washed. Ha, you ain't catching me out with any last minute revenge.

Abultions are concluded, and Hobbit grabs a handful of loo roll, only to be found 30 secs later kneeling in the bath, bent over with the shower figment in hand squirting cold water on the unmentionables. The sound emanating from the Hobbit was only heard by cats and small children.

Hobbit is sat on a couple of cushions with GAC liberally smeared in places that rarely see daylight. And no, we won't be going out today!

Sounds like it made your eye water :)
 

Tashyboy

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Friend of mine once told me his missis would not talk to him one weekend. Him an missis got bladdered. Got a kebab apiece oozing with chilli sauce. Then got amourous. Then ahe got the yoghurt our coz she was on fire.
 
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