Taking a leap into the unknown!

[kid2]

Afternoon all,
Im not trying to be nosey or anything just more curious if you will but has anyone ever moved there family from their place of origin to a different country away from other family members for work and lifestyle reasons.....

I escaped the redundancy chop in work for the time being anyway but there are only 4 of us left and i feel that if things dont take off with the economy here then i may be forced to go elsewhere to start a new life for a future for my kids....

We have a reasonably small mortgage here in Ireland so i count myself as one of the lucky ones but with so many people here on welfare i dont want to be another no. in the Que.....I would need a purpose to get out of bed in the morning.....

Now im just playing safe at the moment and looking ahead just in case but i know a lot will think im a bit mad for this choice if it came to it i would more than likely try my hand at something across the pond in the U.K.......Be it in Wales ,Scotland or England.....My first choice would be to join one of the Police forces as its something that i always wanted to do....There is just something very appealing to me about the job.....And know im not one that gets a high from Power Trips!

Has anyone made the jump and up sticks with their family to a new land?
How hard was it?
And how are the relations with the family members in the country you were born?

 

[LeeTurner]

I did it twice. Moved to Zimbabwe and then South Africa with my first wife. Fifteen years later decided to move back to the UK with my second wife and our two young children.
When I moved away my parents were upset but as I had lived and worked all over the UK, Europe and Africa since the age of 17 it wasn't that unexpected.
I did meet quite a lot of expats and a common problem was their partners homesickness. The issue tends to be that the male takes the family to another country as he already has a job. So within a week or so of arriving his time is taken up with a new job, workmates and usually a new social scene. On the other hand if the other half doesn't have a job then they are stuck at home either with the kids or on their own with no-one to socialise with. Ninety percent of people who returned home did so because their partner could not settle or missed their family and friends. It is very important to involve your partner in your new social life with work colleagues. Different countries have different issues - I've lived in countries where it is not safe for a female to drive alone and this further increases the loneliness.
Kids are very adaptable and resilient and soon fit in their new surroundings.

In terms of relationships with family members the longer I stayed away the more distant the relationship became. I lost three grandparents and three uncles whilst living away and whilst it was upsetting the amount of time I'd spent away made it feel less emotional. It's easy to get into the trap of losing contact with family members, time flies initially, and I'd recommend you phone once a week and not just Christmas and birthdays (as I did).

You will be lucky if your plans come together that you're only going to be moving hundreds not thousands of miles so some of the experiences I had will not be applicable. Good luck with your plans.

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Kid2
Scotland seems to be on the up at the moment.
The police/services are cutting back at the moment so perhaps not a great career choice.
You need to be aware of your housing equity as areas like SE England/ Edinburgh are expensive.
Sods law that houses are cheap in areas where there are no jobs and expensive where there are.
There are some real bargain house prices in South Ayrshire at the moment. Good rail/bus link to Glasgow where the jobs are. Roughly 1 hour travelling. Close enough to the airports and ferries for trips home.

If I were you I would find out where you want to live, check travel links to your family at home, then check out the jobs markets.

I was young when I moved age 21. I married and had my kids in Southern England. Yearly holiday home and a couple of visits a year from my parents kept us in touch.
Moved back to Scotland when I retired and both my daughters followed us up within a few years.
My wifes family live on the south coast but she does not get on too well with her mother so no real problems although she misses her brother.

 

[kid2]

I did it twice.

You will be lucky if your plans come together that you're only going to be moving hundreds not thousands of miles so some of the experiences I had will not be applicable. Good luck with your plans.

Thanks for the reply Lee....Its good to get things from the other perspective....

 

[kid2]

Kid2
Scotland seems to be on the up at the moment.
The police/services are cutting back at the moment so perhaps not a great career choice.
You need to be aware of your housing equity as areas like SE England/ Edinburgh are expensive.
Sods law that houses are cheap in areas where there are no jobs and expensive where there are.
There are some real bargain house prices in South Ayrshire at the moment. Good rail/bus link to Glasgow where the jobs are. Roughly 1 hour travelling. Close enough to the airports and ferries for trips home.

If I were you I would find out where you want to live, check travel links to your family at home, then check out the jobs markets.

I was young when I moved age 21. I married and had my kids in Southern England. Yearly holiday home and a couple of visits a year from my parents kept us in touch.
Moved back to Scotland when I retired and both my daughters followed us up within a few years.
My wifes family live on the south coast but she does not get on too well with her mother so no real problems although she misses her brother.

Thanks Doon....
As in my post it might never happen but i have to keep an open mind on the issue..
If i did go i would more than likely be renting property id say.......I wouldnt be in the buyers market for a long time...

 

[Evesdad]

Always liked the idea of moving abroad, Canada or Sweden top our lists at the moment. The problem lies with leaving family behind. Neither of us want the kids to grow up with not having grandparents in their lives on a regular basis. That's really all that's stopping us to be honest.

 

[Mr_T]

When I was 2 my dad got an offer to work in the British Embassy in America for 4 years, he took it and I can honestly say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was only young but there so many great things that came from living there. So my advice would be not to just look at the potential problems, but look at the positives and benefits you can get from moving. We also managed to stay in touch with family pretty regularly and we saw them once or twice a year normally.
However I think its something you should have lengthy discussions with your family about, how old are your kids? Being so young meant it was an easy move for me, but my dad got another offer to move to Brussels when I was 11 and that was something I was really against as I was settled and didn't want to lose my friends, we discussed this and my parents decided it was in the best interests of me and my sister to not move, so whilst you should look at the positives, also consider the impacts on your close family, particularly your kids as unless they are pretty young moving will be pretty hard for them.

 

[upsidedown]

Moved here to New Zealand ( if we'd gone any further we'd be coming back ) 5 years ago.

Came here on honeymoon with wife number two and we loved it and thought we'd take early retirement when she was 55 ( ex NHS ) but on looking at the requirements to gain permanent residency decided to go for it rather than wait.

We've left behind two elderly Mothers, three grown up children and now two grandchildren.

The homesickness can be devastating at times but for me you get on with it, HID struggles with and is in mid air on her
way back to spend 3 weeks in UK having had a Hysterectomy 3 weeks ago. It may well end up that she has to visit every year rather than the bi annual visits we have made so far.

As for family left behind, I've two brothers, one who has been here twice and one I've not spoken to in 5 years as " I deserted him "

Has it been worth it? Oh yes. Have a great lifestyle, great house, life is more relaxed, less crowded and not consumer orientated, better climate.

Do we miss UK? yes and no. Obviously miss family and friends but we've made plenty new friends here. Prefer working in NZ to UK and certainly have no desire to work there again. Miss public footpaths and Country pubs. Don't miss UK course who charge exorbitant green fees and overly stuffy attitudes.

Cost of living? Probably for us a bit cheaper as we rear all our own meat and eggs, wood fired heating but it does cost a lot to fly from here , comparable flights from UK to here are nearly $1000 dearer NZ to UK.

Cost us upwards of 10K GBP to move here so not cheap but even if we end up back in UK in our dotage it'll be worth every penny spent, we'll not be sitting in our rocking chairs saying " if only or what if ? "

 

[LeeTurner]

Cost us upwards of 10K GBP to move here so not cheap but even if we end up back in UK in our dotage it'll be worth every penny spent, we'll not be sitting in our rocking chairs saying " if only or what if ? "

Exactly. My credo from teenage years onwards as always been to not wake up the day I retire thinking "I wish". If something doesn't work out at least you gave it a go.

 

[kid2]

Thanks for all the replies fella's.....

 

[JustOne]

Think you have to talk it though with the missus. I was married to an Italian girl and it was rubbish, every holiday had to be to her parents place in Italy and if we weren't there then she was on the phone or writing or talking about the place....or we were saving to go back. I figured she missed the place so much so I left her..... oddly she stayed here.... you can never really understand a woman!!!

 

[Hobbit]

Been on the receiving end as a teenage child and it was brilliant. But mum never settled and we ended up back in England.

Did it with the Mrs and she struggled for years to settle, and she did need regular visits back home. Poorly parents saw us move back, and although I'm glad we moved back and were able to support our parents through, to put it bluntly, into the next life. We both miss the lifestyle we had and in the not too distant future we'll be off again.

 

[CMAC]

Been on the receiving end as a teenage child and it was brilliant. But mum never settled and we ended up back in England.

Did it with the Mrs and she struggled for years to settle, and she did need regular visits back home. Poorly parents saw us move back, and although I'm glad we moved back and were able to support our parents through, to put it bluntly, into the next life. We both miss the lifestyle we had and in the not too distant future we'll be off again.

what country?



Its all about the quality of life and the weather plays a major part in this, England, especially East Sussex has a climate the Scots would die for

 

[BeachGolfer]

Yes. Manchester - London - Munich - Toronto - San Francisco - Toronto and early retirement in Devon.

Hard work, great experiences, some luck and good timing. We set off treating it as an adventure with enough travellers cheques to last six months and we're overseas for nearly 20 years.