Power of Attorney ?

[cliveb]

We made the mistake of not having the medical POA and that made things far more difficult. Don't make that same mistake.

I'm interested to hear what problems not having medical POA caused you.

The reason I ask is that when my mother developed dementia, the doctors told my brother and me that the medical POA we had wasn't really necessary, because if someone isn't capable of making their own medical decisions, the doctors will ask their next of kin for guidance anyway.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

I'm interested to hear what problems not having medical POA caused you.

The reason I ask is that when my mother developed dementia, the doctors told my brother and me that the medical POA we had wasn't really necessary, because if someone isn't capable of making their own medical decisions, the doctors will ask their next of kin for guidance anyway.

Social services, doctors etc kept trying to get answers from my MiL, kept asking her questions, kept wanting her approval, all when she was incapable of giving rational answers, barely capable of putting sentences together at times.

You did well to have doctors that were on the ball and understood early on, we did not find it the same. Now she is in a home they come straight to my wife each time straight away, we have passed that stage.

We got there in the end but it was a longer and tougher journey than it should have been.

 

[Robster59]

For me POA is like house insurance. You have it and hope you never need it. But through experience with Missis Ts dad. It is essential. Although heartbreaking to see FIL with advanced dementia etc. it would be impossible to handle his affairs if POA was not now invoked.
RE POA. it is simple to set up yourself according to Missis T and I believe theres a flat rate of £82? For each piece. Health and finance. So £164 per person. I enquired via my parents solicitors re how much they could do it for. £700 plus VAT plus £164?

We had the one done for my parents in England, and I'm sure it was nowhere near that much.

 

[cliveb]

Social services, doctors etc kept trying to get answers from my MiL, kept asking her questions, kept wanting her approval, all when she was incapable of giving rational answers, barely capable of putting sentences together at times.

You did well to have doctors that were on the ball and understood early on, we did not find it the same. Now she is in a home they come straight to my wife each time straight away, we have passed that stage.

We got there in the end but it was a longer and tougher journey than it should have been.

Ah, right. So it's basically luck of the draw over how the doctors are going to behave. Another lottery in the British system of caring for the vulnerable.

 

[RichA]

Ah, right. So it's basically luck of the draw over how the doctors are going to behave. Another lottery in the British system of caring for the vulnerable.

It's like any job that provides a service. For every practitioner whose priority is doing the right thing for the customer/patient, there's one that can't think outside the policy flowchart. Nobody's fault - just 21st century life.

Equally, for every genuinely grateful relative there's a potential litigious opportunist or over zealous HR QA flowchart monitoring middle-manager.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

It's like any job that provides a service. For every practitioner whose priority is doing the right thing for the customer/patient, there's one that can't think outside the policy flowchart. Nobody's fault - just 21st century life.

Equally, for every genuinely grateful relative there's a potential litigious opportunist.

Very frustrating when it is blindingly bloomin obvious though .

I do understand your latter point though, it does complicate matters for others.