New Panties

[The_Squire]

My Mrs doesn't like my new aftershave 'Chloroform',
apparently it makes her sleepy and gives her a sore arse.

 

[medwayjon]

My Mrs doesn't like my new aftershave 'Chloroform',
apparently it makes her sleepy and gives her a sore arse.

An oldie, but definately a classic!

 

[Smiffy]

My Mrs doesn't like my new aftershave 'Chloroform',
apparently it makes her sleepy and gives her a sore arse.

Didn't Hywel buy some of that for Homer at Christmas????

 

[The_Squire]

So I am in the pub with my mate when this bird walks past.

'I'd give her one' I said.

At this, the bird turns round and says 'I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last bloke on the planet'.

'Shut up you ugly cow, I was scoring you out of 10'.

I overheard a fat bird talking about a threesome she'd had the night before,

I asked her 'Was it with Ben and Jerry by any chance'?

 

[Smiffy]

I saw this fat bird walking down the road the other day with a t-shirt with "Guess" written on it.
"Thyroid problem?" I asked.

 

[medwayjon]

How do you get a fat girl in bed?
Piece of cake!

 

[vig]

> To spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ... enough times that her husband finally asks,

> "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

>"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.

> "Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat."

* He never heard the gunshot *

When I heard this the punchline was "thank ^^^^ for that, I thought the sofa had split"

 

[HTL]

I have read it and to be honest I have heard/read them before but I do not think a public golf forum is the place to mock the devastation in Pakistan. I am disappointed lads.

Seems only fair to post a picture of a bay spitting a dummy? Or an old lad falling off his high chair.

 

[madandra]

 

[HTL]

Is that all the banter you have? Very disappointed in you. I know your Scottish and therefore must be grumpy the majority of the time, however, that was almost as bad as Paul Stewart

 

[madandra]

Who the hell is Paul Stewart?

 

[AuburnWarrior]

Who the hell is Paul Stewart?

Ex Spurs and Palace footballer. Left us and went to Sunderland.....

Or the chap on here who's walked more courses than SkyCaddie!!! Apparently, the drinks at his club are a smite on the expensive side.....

 

[madandra]

I haven't read any posts or threads by him. I guess HTL's tears have obscured his vision whilst typing.

 

[AuburnWarrior]

I haven't read any posts or threads by him. I guess HTL's tears have obscured his vision whilst typing.

I could say that you've not missed much but that would be churlish and would most certainly be fanning the flames of the Paul Stewart/HTL/Homer forum battle.....