Most ridiculous thing heard on the range

A couple of weeks ago, a wife/coach was giving out tips to her husband/beginner in the next bay and really getting on my nerves because of her loud voice when she announced ''John now take a bite of your bacon sandwich and drink your coffee before it gets cold'' I had to stop wetting myself.
 
I let a guy I knew hit a few drives in my bay while we chatted over his ott miss hits when a guy a few bays away wandered down and asked question about the grip. This led to the guy being led off back to his bay by the other fellow and having a "lesson" on every part of the game from where to position his feet to how to swing like Rory. This took at least an hour and I could see that not only couldn't he get a word in edge ways but hardly hit another ball due to the demands of his new found tutor to watch, listen and learn pretty much what a David Leadbetter took 4 dvd's to explain!!

I bet the pupil takes up bowls as a result!
 
HomerJSimpson said:
Saw a dad telling this kid in minute intricate detail how to stand, swing and hit the thing and then berate him when the poor soul dobbled it in front of him. He could only have been about 7. In the end the dad said "let me show you" and so I stopped to watch a masterclass. He promptly shanked it into the side wall, watched me standing there and mumbled something and let the kid get on with it in silence. And guess what? With no pressure he actually got a few away nicely. Had to smile at the dad as he left
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I've seen that sort of thing a few times. Some poor kid being coached within an inch of their life by their father. Doesn't look much fun to me.

Also seen kids go with Dads, and the Dads just let them get on with it, hand them clubs, and give huge praise and encouragement.

Wonder which kids will keep playing...
 
Two guys in a bay, one hitting a driver, the other watching. Ball is going right, nobbled, all the time.

"Mate. You've got too much power, overloading the shaft. You need to throttle back..."

:rofl:
 
Not heard, but saw last week. Two young lads, struggling to keep their over tight, too short trousers up, Rickie hats on backwards, big gold chains etc. you get the picture. Stepped into the bay next to me, they have what looks like an old Big Bertha with a head on it smaller than my hybrids, and proceed to tee up with the orange tee (looks about 50cm's above the mat), the club head was passing between the ball and the mat without touching either on occasion...... or launching into space if they made contact with the ball.

Credit where it's due, they realized that the tee was a tad too high and saw that there were a couple of spare shorter black tees on the side, and made to change them...... but instead of taking the orange one out (set up in the position for a right handed swing), they put the shorter tee on the opposite side (position for left handed swing). Tee'd the ball up, and then tried to stand on the edge of the mat, balancing on his toes about six inches away from the ball, and proceed to try and hit a 'normal' right handed swing. Soon realizing that they weren't hitting very successfully here, they decided to move the black tee....... not in place of the orange one, but to the hole at the front of the mat. Teeing up again, but this time, still not able to stand on the mat, right foot balancing on the toes, left foot off the front of the mat on a lower level. Again realizing that this was not helping, they move the black tee again..... to the back position, this time again trying to balance on the toes in order to stay "on the mat". At this point, they gave up with the black tee and went back to skying shots off the orange tee.......
 
We've all over heard those conversations in the next bay that go along the lines of "I had a gross 66 the other day.." and clearly the guy is a hacker and would probably struggle to break 80 :D You have to chuckle at that.
 
Its always the classic that gets me when you see/hear the thinned wedge. 'Ahhh you're lifting your head up mate' No Shiz! :D
 
Is it just me that doesn't get the 'fore left' joke? Sorry I'm still a golfing noob/hacker but trying to learn!

Had a few interesting encounters over the years -

Chap I was playing with took a nice shot with a 5 iron, ball was heading for ~200 yards, followed by the club head!
A couple of "youths" turned up at the range on Sunday just gone and put whatever match was on Sky Sports, constant drown of Martin Tyler commentating and crowd noise was too much so a few of us politely asked them to cut it out.
An elderly chap walked onto the range (a few metres in maybe?) and started taking shots off the grass rather than in the bay.
And the worst was when I was quite young and only just getting into golf (think I was about 9/10), a young lad in the bay next to me was having his first session with his Dad and being taught how to swing the club. The next thing I heard was a loud 'crack' and a yelp of pain. I turned around and saw the wee lad had taken a swing with his Dad standing behind him, club straight to the forehead and blood everywhere. It really shook me up at the time and I couldn't continue on the range :(
 
Saw a couple of folks on the range obviously for the first time. One of them sat the tee on the mat instead of poking it up through the hole, hit a shot and then went charging down the range to retrieve the tee. Repeated the process a couple of times until I went over and explained what to do. "That's a good idea!" he said.
 
On the driving range at American Golf in Kettering, a bloke I played rugby with is next to be trying a few drivers in front of the sales assistant. Every one is a big banana slice. After he has tried the last one he turned to the sales assistant and asked 'so what do you recommend?'. 'A three wood' was the reply.
 
I often hear the old "I am just warming up before a round" before proceeding to go through an entire large bucket of balls in full on "training" mode.
 
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