Life, Why? What is the purpose?

Slab said:
The Pro - Hello, Khamelion.

Khamelion - Who are you?

The Pro - I am the Pro . I created the Pro shop. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably a golfer. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also irrelevant.

Khamelion – I dreamt of a new driver?

The Pro - Your tee shot is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the Pro Shop. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here

Khamelion - You haven't answered my question.

The Pro - Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

Khamelion : "Others? What others? How many? Answer me!"*

The Pro - The Pro Shop is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one new driver to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the sixth version in the last two years.

Khamelion: There are only two possible explanations: either no one told me, or no one knows.

The Pro - Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the new driver is systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic of golfers

Khamelion - Choice. The problem is choice.

The Pro - The first Pro Shop I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is as apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every golfers tee shot, thus I redesigned it based on your swing to more accurately reflect the varying grotesquery’s of your golf. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive Pro, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the golf swing. If I am the father of the next new driver, she would undoubtedly be its mother.

Khamelion - The Fitting Pro?

The Pro - Please... As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all golfers accepted the fitting, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this new driver functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory anomaly of not going as far as the simulator and that if left unchecked might threaten the game of golf itself. Ergo, those that refused the fitting, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of a slice or hook.

Khamelion – Is this about women in golf clubs?.

The Pro - You are here because the old nonadjustable driver stock is about to be destroyed. Its every remaining design terminated, its entire existence eradicated.

Khamelion - Bull

The Pro - Denial is the most predictable of all golfer responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

The Pro - The function of the Punter is now to return to the pro shop, allowing a temporary dissemination of the clubs you carry, reinserting the old swing. After which you will be required to select from the Pro Shop 23 individuals, 16 female, 7 male for a 4BBB comp, to rebuild the membership. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic competition crash, NR’ing everyone connected to the Pro Shop, which coupled with the extermination of the Driver will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire golfing community.

Khamelion - You won't let it happen, you can't. You need golfers to survive.

The Pro - There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept, after all we also sell Mars Bars, However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility for the slices & hooks of every golfer in this world.

*The Pro presses a button on a Tee that he is holding, and images of people from all over the Pro shop floor appear on monitors drooling over new stock*

The Pro - It is interesting reading your reactions. Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to your money and lure of a new shiney, facilitating the function of the Punter. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, a TM Driver!

*Images of a new kind of driver from Khamelion's dream appear on the monitors*

Khamelion – The new TM driver!

The Pro - Apropos, TM have entered the Pro Shop to save your tee shot at the cost of £399 or £599 fitted

Khamelion - No!

The Pro - Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw in your swing is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning, and end. There are two drivers. The fitted driver leads to the fairway, and the salvation of your tee shot. The unfitted driver leads back to the Pro Shop, to the Fitting Pro, and to the end of your vouchers. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you're going to do, don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple, and obvious truth: she is going to fit you, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it.

*Khamelion walks to the unfitted driver*

The Pro - Humph. Hope! It is the quintessential golfer delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.

Khamelion - If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.

The Pro - We won't. I'm moving to be the new golf director
Click to expand...


Thats kinda what what I was thinking, hope me and slab have helped you out Khamelion.
 
To avoid death.

To make order from chaos. But what is chaos?

Whilst some would say life is about choices, there is a primal instinct to survive which, in the main, overrides choice. And then there is the absurdity of suicide. Where in the natural instinct is suicide? Is suicide a coherent choice?

The first part of Dostoevsky's The Underground Man asks some interesting questions but then loses itself in a sadistic relationship. A later book called The Adolescent certainly poses a question about our choices, especially male choices. It revolves around whether a son makes conscious and unconscious choices around being better or intentionally different from his father. Does an adolescent need affirmation? And does the lack of it leave a scar?

Do choices define our purpose?

I knew I shouldn't have had that second large whisky...
 
Hobbit said:
To avoid death.

To make order from chaos. But what is chaos?

Whilst some would say life is about choices, there is a primal instinct to survive which, in the main, overrides choice. And then there is the absurdity of suicide. Where in the natural instinct is suicide? Is suicide a coherent choice?

The first part of Dostoevsky's The Underground Man asks some interesting questions but then loses itself in a sadistic relationship. A later book called The Adolescent certainly poses a question about our choices, especially male choices. It revolves around whether a son makes conscious and unconscious choices around being better or intentionally different from his father. Does an adolescent need affirmation? And does the lack of it leave a scar?

Do choices define our purpose?

I knew I shouldn't have had that second large whisky...
Click to expand...

You shouldn't have had the first!
 
Electric word life
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you
There's something else
The after world
A world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or night

 
Region3 said:
Life? Don't talk to me about life.

Funny you should post 42, because I read slabs post in my head in the voice of 'deep thought'.
Click to expand...


You are in need of help :) it happens to those of us with brains the size of a planet.
Recommend a large Pangalacticgargleblaster, a visit to the Total Perspective Vortex and don't forget your towel.

See you at the restaurant at the end of the universe after the Disaster Area gig :)
 
The deterministic argument against free will is that we are all essentially programmed, through biochemical and physiological mechanisms which make our decisions for us. We think we make individual decisions but they only really vary at the margins. Instinct is another element that drives us to seek food, seek shelter, procreate, use a chipper, get custom fitted, whatever.
 
Purpose of Life ???

WOW !!!

Life was simple at some stage I guess , it was the greed of the human race that raised the bar ,

Life is not the problem , people are
 
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