Junior Punishment - Am I wrong here ?

bladeplayer said:
Of course he should . all lads of 11 own up to things they do wrong .. dont they ? he could have just said one of the others must have done it and lied to his da couldnt he .. ?

Lad need to learn h


As i said he could have blamed his mates ? clip rund the ear would solve what exactly ?

Next time the lad did wrong would he own up ? to get another clip ?

Anyhow each to their own but i wany my kids growing up to respect me and others , to know we can talk & sort out most stuff , not be afraid to talk to me , for fear of a slap ..

We all amde mistakes growing up .. wont be his last one to make
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It would be if he learned from it.....
 
bladeplayer said:
He would probably learn two thing tho ,

owning up to that was silly, better to lie

dont talk to da if i have a prob or do something wrong or il get a slap

Is that what you would want your kids to feel if it was you ?
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BP, you sound like my kind of parent. My kids are not frightened of a clip round the ear when they make a mistake. I would never use casual violence to instill fear.

To the OP. You did everything right, up to the point where you threatened to leave the club. Your lad will hopefully learn a valuable lesson. The other kids won't learn that lesson and will probably have to learn it somewhere else.....
 
i dont think the club was in the wrong really, u say why should your some be punished twice but you too him to the club to be punished what did you expect. If you didnt want him to be punished twice you should have just left it at ur punishment. The club cant ban others if no one else has come forward and as others have said cant go on hearsay.

To leave the club because they have done what you wanted of them is extreme i think. But each to their own i suppose.
 
shivas irons said:
Good grief,yeah reward him so he learns nothing.He SHOULD be owning up anyway irrespective of the others who didn't get caught....
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he should.....but what 11 year old will if they know they will get severely punished? I can see your just not getting where I'm coming from, we all bring up kids differently so I respect your method but like BP I'd want him knowing not to lie and certainly not to hide out of fear.
 
I wouldn't be punishing him, I'd be telling him what an idiotic thing it was to do, especially your own name...

....write someone else's next time!!!!! :p
 
Garush34 said:
i dont think the club was in the wrong really, u say why should your some be punished twice but you too him to the club to be punished what did you expect. If you didnt want him to be punished twice you should have just left it at ur punishment. The club cant ban others if no one else has come forward and as others have said cant go on hearsay.

To leave the club because they have done what you wanted of them is extreme i think. But each to their own i suppose.
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I think you misread my post mate. I stated although I didnt like it I understood the club would have to do something. What I didnt expect was a 2 week ban after his honesty and the rest of the damage being swept under the table.
 
QUOTE=Siren;792005]I think you misread my post mate. I stated although I didnt like it I understood the club would have to do something. What I didnt expect was a 2 week ban after his honesty and the rest of the damage being swept under the table.[/QUOTE]



if you dont rejoin he wont have a two week ban, 2nd time of asking and are you rejoining
 
I can see it from both sides tbh, you didn't have to pay for the table and a 2 week ban from the club is something he will never forget and be will be a better person from it. I was punished as a child harder than some of my school mates but turned out better for it.
 
lyden said:
Is the 2 week a problem because its school holidays? I would have thought 2 weeks in a cold march was easy time.
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No I just feel its a little excessive considering he has already been banned by myself for a week. In a situation where he could easily have lied and received no punishment, he instead told the truth and in my opinion has been delt with very harshly.

bigslice said:
if you dont rejoin he wont have a two week ban, 2nd time of asking and are you rejoining
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I honestly do not know, today is my normal society day and it hadnt gone unnoticed that I wasnt there and the story seems to have done the rounds. I have had a phone call off a member who ive always got on with but never in my life did I think he would take the time to phone me and say what he said.

The course itself is the best in the area when its in shape and apart from this incident I can honestly say Ive had no other problems.

See what happens over the next couple of days.
 
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bluewolf said:
To the OP. You did everything right, up to the point where you threatened to leave the club. Your lad will hopefully learn a valuable lesson. The other kids won't learn that lesson and will probably have to learn it somewhere else.....
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I think the other kids have learned a lesson - not owning up is a good way not to get punished.

Personally I reckon the club were a bit silly to impose a ban seeing as you had already punished him. A much better solution IMO would have been for him to do some 'community service' (for want of a better phrase) at the club, would have made for a much better scenario all round.
 
I think you handled it well. Your son admitted it immediately so it shows that your upbringing has actually sunk in and we all did silly things at that age. I can see the club needed to punish him and to be fair two weeks isn't the end of the world especially at this time of the year. They can't punish others on second hand information. I would let him serve the punishment but I wouldn't walk away myself. A line can easily be drawn and it will be soon forgotten. Rejoin and move on
 
Siren said:
I think you misread my post mate. I stated although I didn't like it I understood the club would have to do something. What I didn't expect was a 2 week ban after his honesty and the rest of the damage being swept under the table.
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No i don't think i miss read it, you punished your kid for what he has done as a parent and you then took him to the club to let them know what had happened, so then they are within their right to ban him as he has done wrong and as a member of the club you go by their rules and they saw fit to punish the kid, regardless of what you had done as that is due to your parenting. If you didn't want him to be punished twice you should have punished him at home and left it at that.

And i also don't think that you should now reward him just cause no one else has been punished by the club. that would only teach him that i can do bad things but if i own up to them then ill get off with it.

You also state the following

"I expected him to be punished by the club, I am not happy as I don't believe the kid should be punished twice but I understood the need to do something."

that kind of contradicts what your saying, you believe the clubs right to do something but because you have already punished him they should just say OK that's fine, I'm afraid that's not how it works. He vandalized their property so i think a 2 week ban is fair.
 
Silly boy in the first place.. but hey.. he is eleven and kids do things like that.
Why are you and others praising his 'honesty' in owning up when it was obvious that he had done the damage.
The club had to do something, did you expect them to do nothing at all.

Sounds like you are a good parent, he is a decent boy, and the club handled it in the only way they could. Forget about it and move on.

I have banned juniors for much worse than that.
3 months for deliberately knocking a ball over the M4 by a bright low handicap 16 year old.
1 month for knocking a divot out of a green etc.
Oh and a severe ticking off to a future Ryder Cup player for loosening the caps of the salt and pepper holders in the clubhouse.
Parents go ballistic at kids if they were banned in the school holidays as we were more or less childminders to 100 kids for 6 weeks.
 
Firstly Siren, I agree with everything you and the club have done so far, and your son has learnt a lesson, that life isn't fair and some people get away with poor behaviour. The important thing is he knows right from wrong. My suggestion to you though is by not rejoining you are punishing the lad again, surely something you don't want to do? At 11 you must know how difficult it can be to make new friends, and if he's happy why upset the lad again? He would, in my opinion be more likely to question his decision to own up, if he was removed from the club and joined somewhere else. As for the table, if it bugs you that much and it will annoy you every time you see it get it repaired or replaced, so you can put it behind you and enjoy the club without distractions. Hopefully it will all be forgotten in a month and you and your lad will be even closer.
 
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