Junior Punishment - Am I wrong here ?

[Deleted member 1147]

I'm not a parent so maybe I don't quite understand all that goes on with punishing Kids etc but...

... If I had carved my name in a table at the golf club, and one of my folks had spotted it, my ban from the golf club would have been permanent. I am certain that I would have been forced to pay for repairs myself as well.
Personally I think you should both be very happy with such a short ban, especially at this time of year, it'd be a lot worse if it was the middle of summer.

 

[john0]

As an additional punishment why dont you have a quiet word with Mike H and ask if your son can be given a job as the only mod this weekend

 

[Robobum]

If it was me and mine - the punishment would stand but I'd let the dust settle a bit then chat to him and let him know that despite being unhappy about what he did, I'm proud of him for facing it like a (little) man. Get him to remember how much it hurts to have his gear taken away and not able to play golf if he thinks about doing it again.

Rethink leaving too, a bit kneejerk

 

[North Mimms]

As an additional punishment why dont you have a quiet word with Mike H and ask if your son can be given a job as the only mod this weekend

Aw come on!

Hasn't the child suffered enough?

(And you don't want him learning lots of new insults!)

 

[sydney greenstreet]

My view is it is good the lad admitted what he done, but there seems to be too many punishments for 1 thing, you punished him by no tv or xbox or friends then the club punished him and then you made him wear the school uniform.

 

[Birchy]

I can see why you were fuming at the time but i think you handled the situation perfectly bar the bit about saying you werent going back. Its not your concern about other kids or idiots as they will turn out to be if their parents dont teach them to behave. Good to see not all parents are letting their kids run wild.

Your lad stood up and was counted even though he probably could of lied his way out of it. I would explain to him that your proud he told the truth and that he did the right thing.

I would take him for a round of golf or two somehwere while he is banned and tell him that if you do the right things in life you will be better off eventually.

 

[rob_golf1]

Take your subs elsewhere. Its almost like they are making an example out of your son in my eyes.

 

[mpluis]

So did you learn something with these?

See your team is your team, they respect you form being true to you, others did not, and they dont give a ..... to pursue the
truth. So do yourself (your team) a favor and call nº11 and tell the all story and make him see that because he was a real men
with you, you will respect him for that, and the others that suppose to be adults and fair and "honesty and integrity are supposed to be cornerstonesreally" let you down.

 

[Hooper]

Take your subs elsewhere. Its almost like they are making an example out of your son in my eyes.

I kind of agree with this. Only you will know if the club has done enough to find out who else vandalised the tables. Just because people did not own up is no excuse. I applaud you for you parenting and am sure your son will grow up with similar morals.

 

[john0]

So did you learn something with these?

See your team is your team, they respect you form being true to you, others did not, and they dont give a ..... to pursue the the
truth. So do yourself (your team) a favor and call nº11 and tell the all story and make him see that because he was a real men
with you, you will respect him for that, and the others that suppose to be adults and fair really let you down.

 

[bladeplayer]

Fair play to your son for being honest with you on it ,I agree with Darth here , your son knows he did wrong, and he has been punished for it by yourself , but now by the actions of the club he thinks he should have lied & got away with it , this could cause problems in the future for you ,

Never mind the club thing, you need to show your son you apreciate his honesty to you & yes you need to reward him for that ,
but make it clear it is for being honest when asked a question ,
your son will then know he can be honest with you when stuff goes wrong , that will be a priceless trust to have in years to come ..

Regarding the club , he did wrong , he owned up , he will be "punished " by the club .. to me thats fair enough , if the others dont own up then the club cant assume their guilt . & im sure your son wont snitch them out .. that is not the clubs fault tho , the damage was done to the club so the club must be seen to act ..

On a side note as they decided to punish him rather than accept your offer , you should remove your offer of compensation/repair

Its now done /dealt with and soon over .. if you like the club stay a member ,& keep your son as a member, it seems worse than it is because its deeply personal to you , on the outside looking it , it is very trivial ..

You have a good boy there and obviously you are a decent & honest person ,
thats worth a million dollars man

 

[Robobum]

......... thats worth a million dollars man

Steve Austin?

Is it mockney rhyming slang?

 

[bladeplayer]

Steve Austin?

Is it mockney rhyming slang?

From Ireland ? ha ha eh no

 

[Hobbit]

I think you handled it the right way. And in the context of what clubs can impose, I see it as a slap on the wrist, and they can't be seen to do nothing. As an (ex) Junior Organiser I've seen kids booted out for less - doesn't make it right or fair but in the real world, that's life.

But is your reaction in saying you're not staying a member not a bit OTT? At present you have the moral high ground - don't concede it by being rash.

 

[Siren]

Thanks for the replys guys, even the one telling me to dry my eyes :thup:

His grounding is officially over, he is happily on his Xbox as we speak shooting Zombies.

I should have pointed out that he can not identify the other children who did it because he was on his own when he did it himself, though to be fair its not hard to make out the names. I should have also put that I had already sat down and explained what he did was wrong but how proud I am of him for being a man and for being honest.

What is still getting to me is the message this sends him. Sadly the fact he has been banned during the Holidays and banned for the first two junior competitions of the year is highly unlikely to get the others to own up either.

I only hope that in the future if he does something wrong this wont affect his honesty.

 

[bigslice]

so are you rejoining

 

[JustOne]

I would like to know why he bunked a week off school... mine only broke up for Easter hols today

 

[shivas irons]

the 'reward' is for owning up- sorry thought that was clear, or would you rather he was one of the 'others' that have lied and not stepped up to take responsibility for their own actions.

He's had plenty of other punishments including humiliation at school no doubt for wearing his Uniform on a dress down day, and publicly barred from the club for 2 weeks.

He will learn to lie if it's seen or felt to be overly unfair, he carved his name on a desk- bad, yes- but not major, and he is only 11.

Good grief,yeah reward him so he learns nothing.He SHOULD be owning up anyway irrespective of the others who didn't get caught....

 

[CliveW]

I would give the lad a clip round the ear for being so stupid! Surely he realised if he carved his own name in the furniture, it wouldn't take Hercule Piorot to work out who did it?

 

[bladeplayer]

Good grief,yeah reward him so he learns nothing.He SHOULD be owning up anyway irrespective of the others who didn't get caught....

Of course he should . all lads of 11 own up to things they do wrong .. dont they ? he could have just said one of the others must have done it and lied to his da couldnt he .. ?

I would give the lad a clip round the ear for being so stupid! Surely he realised if he carved his own name in the furniture, it wouldn't take Hercule Piorot to work out who did it?

As i said he could have blamed his mates ? clip rund the ear would solve what exactly ?

Next time the lad did wrong would he own up ? to get another clip ?

Anyhow each to their own but i wany my kids growing up to respect me and others , to know we can talk & sort out most stuff , not be afraid to talk to me , for fear of a slap ..

We all made mistakes growing up .. wont be his last one to make