Joke

[Mick47]

There was a knock on the door this morning

I opened it and there was a young man standing there who said:

"I'm a Jehovah's Witness".

I said "Come in and sit down. Now what do you want to talk about"?

He said, " [****] if I know I've never got this far before"

 

[Paul_Stewart]

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong.

The question was Where do women have the curliest hair??

The answer I should have given was Fiji

 

[viscount17]

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.'

The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too . . . . . and I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bike!

 

[Aztecs27]

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.'

The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?'

Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too . . . . . and I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a £280,000 mortgage and no bike!

very good!

 

[Smiffy]

very good!

No it wasn't.
It was crap

 

[Deleted member 1418]

My mate works for GlaxoSmithKline UK and he told me that they're going to be releasing a new drug for bored, single, middle aged lesbians called Tridixagain.

 

[Aztecs27]

very good!

No it wasn't.
It was crap

Made me laugh. I'm very easily amused.

 

[bobmac]

A girl goes to a gymnast class and says "I want to learn how to do the splits"
"How flexible are you" asks the instructor
The girl replies "I cant do Mondays, Tuesdays or Thursdays.

 

[john0]

A girl goes to a gymnast class and says "I want to learn how to do the splits"
"How flexible are you" asks the instructor
The girl replies "I cant do Mondays, Tuesdays or Thursdays.

<--------- the door's that way, please close on your way out

 

[Paul_Stewart]

A fat girl served me food in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.'
I said 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually '

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!



I'll use the same door as before.