Cr@p Golf Joke
- Thread starter Davey S2
- Start date
ScienceBoy
Money List Winner
I don't get it : puzzled innocent face :
SwingsitlikeHogan
Major Champion
Pa as opposed to Pa(r)?? maybe
dufferman
Journeyman Pro
Awfully good
virtuocity
Tour Winner
The "Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?" and "why is an old car like a bad golfer?" were two of the few first jokes I learned as a child.
To be honest, I don't think I've learned any since, apart from "what do you call two robbers?"
To be honest, I don't think I've learned any since, apart from "what do you call two robbers?"
SwingsitlikeHogan
Major Champion
1) In case he got a hole in one 
2) The wheels can fall off both? - or - Neither any good for bagging a birdie? (neither the answer I guess)
2) The wheels can fall off both? - or - Neither any good for bagging a birdie? (neither the answer I guess)
malek988
Challenge Tour Pro
i heard a friend say a bad word in pro shop while i was signing him in, to which he imediatly apologetic, the secretary said, "we play golf not like we have never heard that before don't worry" he then came out with this "why did they call this sport golf??" answer was "because F*** was already taken" lol
drawboy
Tour Winner
A golfer was having a practice session, he came to the par 3 4th hole. He hit a pearl of a ball that sailed onto the green bounced once and went straight in for an ace. The delighted golfer walked to the green and just as he went to get the ball out the cup a leprechaun jumped out of the hole. "Bejesus, that was a heck of a shot, I'll grant you a wish for that" said the wee fella. The golfer thought a bit then said " I could do with a longer ahem, old man. "OK" says the Leprechaun for every par you make it'll grow two inches.
The golfer goes on to have the round of his life. When he gets back to the 19th his todger if hanging out the bottom of his troo's and scraping on the floor.
"I can't go home like this" He said so he went back to the par 3 and started hitting ball after ball at the green. 600 shots later he put another in for a hole in one. Relieved he approached the cup. Out jumped the Leprechaun. "Begorra, that was a nice sho.....Oh it's you again" said the little guy What do you want for a wish this time"?
"Look at the state of this" said the golfer, "It's giving me right jip". "Oh I see, well do you want me to make it a bit shorter"
The golfer looked amazed and said " Chuff off, make my legs longer!!!"
The golfer goes on to have the round of his life. When he gets back to the 19th his todger if hanging out the bottom of his troo's and scraping on the floor.
"I can't go home like this" He said so he went back to the par 3 and started hitting ball after ball at the green. 600 shots later he put another in for a hole in one. Relieved he approached the cup. Out jumped the Leprechaun. "Begorra, that was a nice sho.....Oh it's you again" said the little guy What do you want for a wish this time"?
"Look at the state of this" said the golfer, "It's giving me right jip". "Oh I see, well do you want me to make it a bit shorter"
The golfer looked amazed and said " Chuff off, make my legs longer!!!"
virtuocity
Tour Winner
1) In case he got a hole in one
2) The wheels can fall off both? - or - Neither any good for bagging a birdie? (neither the answer I guess)
1 is correct.
2. Is "because they both go 'PUTT PUTT PUTT'"
3. A pair of knickers.
