Heidi
Tour Rookie
I think with that lot, we have the April edition sewn up! :clap:
Coverage of Middle aged fat bloke golf in Golf monthly! or lack of it
- Thread starter patricks148
- Start date
EUGH, I used to sit across a desk from a scratcher, you have just brought back some revolting memories!
What were you doing in the blokes bogs.
No don't answer that
Heidi
Tour Rookie
What were you doing in the blokes bogs.
No don't answer that
I shall answer, he scratched at his desk
Obviously didnt pee...well, I never smelt anything anyway
but was bald and used to joke on a weekly basis that it was a solar panel for his sex drive
oh how we laughed
I shall answer, he scratched at his desk
Obviously didnt pee...well, I never smelt anything anyway
but was bald and used to joke on a weekly basis that it was a solar panel for his sex drive
oh how we laughed
could that be considered as multi tasking?
Heidi
Tour Rookie
No - he couldn't scratch and talk at the same timecould that be considered as multi tasking?
Liverbirdie
Ryder Cup Winner
No - he couldn't scratch and talk at the same time
Surely whilst scratching he did one of the following:-
1. Grunted.
2. Made that sound along the lines of eeeeuuuurrrgggghhh, sniff.
3. Said, better on the right. 2 second pause. Better out than in.
My moneys on no.3.
Heidi
Tour Rookie
Note to self
Don't read liver's replies while taking a sip of juice :clap:
OK, so we need a fatties section, preferably looking at the best way to get lots of carbs into your body during a round, cakes, donuts, crisps, mars bars
a foot fetish section
a pink fluffy ladies section
a junior section showing off young nubiles who can hit the ball further and straighter than any of us oldies
an oldies section on the best motorcaddies
a bald section on hats and suntan cream
and a ginger section, as they are normally in the minority
have I missed anyone?
Worryingly, I qualify for four of the above....
Heidi
Tour Rookie
So do I! Not saying which four
Only 4!!
Andy
Tour Winner
lOK, so we need a fatties section, preferably looking at the best way to get lots of carbs into your body during a round, cakes, donuts, crisps, mars bars
a foot fetish section
a pink fluffy ladies section
a junior section showing off young nubiles who can hit the ball further and straighter than any of us oldies
an oldies section on the best motorcaddies
a bald section on hats and suntan cream
and a ginger section, as they are normally in the minority
have I missed anyone?
At least a double spread of Carly Booth in every edition.
Liverbirdie
Ryder Cup Winner
Well, lets look at the evidence.
1.I dont think you area young nubile junior.
2. Probably too young for the oldies section.
3. You can't be bald and ginger, and I dont think Neil kinnock plays golf.
So I am guessing you are a portly, foot fetishist who likes womens fluffy pillows. Or I'm totally wrong and you are the recently outed Jimmy Krankie, who also enjoyed swinging parties.
Heidi
Tour Rookie
richart
Major Champion
Surely if you are ginger you would want to go bald ?
Swinger
Journeyman Pro
swingers section
You forgot belly putters and poor colour coordination!
But on a serious note, how awesome would that be! I'm sure one or two (thousand) people would purchase the mag for my pages!!
USER1999
Grand Slam Winner
You forgot belly putters and poor colour coordination!
But on a serious note, how awesome would that be! I'm sure one or two (thousand) people would purchase the mag for my pages!!
Why, are we all running low on loo paper?
Swinger
Journeyman Pro
You may/will definitely be surprised that lots of/some people are very/somewhat interested in my fashion advice. (delete as appropriate)
And then there is always the hats. A new feature hat each month. There is years of content in that already!
USER1999
Grand Slam Winner
Are any of them allowed out long enough to buy a magazine though?
Not all your hair falls out when you end up bald headed ;-)
As for age, I had my first heart attack 19 years ago....................................................... but I do like pink fluffy feet
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Swinger
Journeyman Pro
1 maybe 2 copies in the lounge/social interaction area. It all adds up when you consider the amount of institutions about! Just have to remember not to include any of my personal details.
