Choose your weapon...

[forefortheday]

An angry Blue Ring Octopus.

Fight over in 30 seconds for one of us!

 

[bluewolf]

I'd go with the common British Tench.. Also known as the Doctor fish due to the healing properties of its bodily secretions. You could administer the slap AND the first aid at the same time.. Efficiency is what we Germans are known for..:thup:

 

[Khamelion]

NO idea who the bloke is, but a COD this size has gotta hurt

Or failing that, lob a Hagfish at him, he'll be removing slime for hours.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

Freshwater fish? then it has to be a Pike, with teeth on show for added scary factor

However if a saltwater fish, Monty Python showed that even 2 pilchards are ineffective and you cant beat a good whack with a Halibut http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s

 

[JCW]

Belt him with a catfish ....................................

 

[nickyj4]

Tinned Tuna in a sock, potential for a real solid contact

 

[Break90]

Surely a tin of anything would be classed as non-admissible.

A frozen fish would have maximum effect and probably wouldn't be identified in a pre-slapping equipment inspection.

(also bored at work.........)

 

[SocketRocket]

I have found this instructional video a great help:
[video=youtube;YLdK9zaLaG8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLdK9zaLaG8[/video]

 

[Slime]

NO idea who the bloke is, but a COD this size has gotta hurt

Or failing that, lob a Hagfish at him, he'll be removing Slime for hours.

Oy! Leave me out of this!

Slime.

 

[IanG]

Sorry, but according to my wife's old aunty, the correct answer is a Finnan Haddie applied with vigour 'aboot the lugs'

I think 'skelp' was regularly worked into the sentence somehow too.

 

[London mike 61]

Really only one choice - a wet kipper!

:thup: But only after you have tied it to the exhaust pipe of his car and he has done thirty miles or so , at least that way he will get a taste of things to come.

 

[lex!]

an old trout

 

[palindromicbob]

I'd use one of these with the dorsal side as the weapon in the hope to get a little spike action into the mix.

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/529367/scorpion-fish

 

[NorfolkShaun]

It would have to be a slap round the face with a place......

 

[Pin-seeker]

Obviously with me been such a pro I'd have to get hooked up to trackman to see what fish gave me the best numbers.

 

[beggsy]

I normally use the slippery dick not many people like a slippery dick slapped across there face

 

[SocketRocket]

Sticklebacks sting!

 

[Doon frae Troon]

A longer lasting tactic would be to secretly stick a wet kipper behind his radiator than slap him round the face with it.

 

[Foxholer]

I have found this instructional video a great help:
[video=youtube;YLdK9zaLaG8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLdK9zaLaG8[/video]

Thanks for reminding me of that!

Hope you're not the typical Monty Python 'Brian'! - and I don't the one that was 'just a very naughty boy'!

 

[North Mimms]

If you have access to a freezer in the office, a frozen fish is quite effective