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tsped83

tsped83

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Morning! I need some input on contentious issue at work on this frosty Friday morning, it seems to have divided the office and there is an unpleasant atmosphere festering, although that may be the bins…

What is the best fish to slap someone around the face with?

A popular choice seems to be Swordfish but the likelihood of picking up a whole Swordfish at your local fishmongers seems slim. Some genius suggested ‘Hammerhead Shark’, this person has now been removed from the office and killed.

For me, it’s a two handed Salmon backhand. What do you guys think? Serious answers only please, this is work related.
 
barracuda - gives good reach and lethal impact... entire crowds can be dispatched to the afterlife with one decent swing (probably need to get fitted properly for one before you try and swing too hard).... see a professional fishmonger for both fitting and swing lessons :thup:

Here's a guy practicing his backswing... (I think he's a little underplane at P2) :p

images
 
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Widest fish you can find , sets off more nerve endings signal to the brain

same as an open handed slap can have a better reaction than a punch ..

dont believe me ? hold one hand open flat and punch it hard with your other fist .. then hit it a hard open handed slap , see which hurts the most ...


Cant believe i seriously answered the OP tho :confused:
 
Prob doesn't need saying but I will anyway...

The type of fish doesn't really matter too much once you have an average size/weight etc but most important it must be wet!

Oh and make sure you get fitted for your fish
 
I'd use one of these horrible little buggers, I just don't know where to get one! :whistle:


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Slime.
 
Its got to be a jelly fish... not much meat behind it but will that mother sting... then you get to p!$$ on their face to neutralise the sting.
 
See your humble jelly fish and raise you a portuguese man of war version or the box jellyfish. Now we're getting into the potentially fatal area and ideal for dealing with the office miscreant as described in the OP
 
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