Children and religion

[Rooter]

Before I start, I am fully aware this could get messy, however I am sure everyone can be grown up about it!

So, my question or dilemma is, as a complete atheist, how should i deal with my kids learning about religion? Living in a very prominent, middle class COE type area, the only religion they really get any detail on at school is Christianity. With Easter just gone, both my 4yr and 6yr olds have come home from school full of stories of the resurrection, etc etc.

We did not get any of our kids christened, my wife is a non practising catholic BTW and i am nothing. we decided before they were born, we would take the same attitude as my parents did, by not enforcing anything and if when they were old enough they can chose whatever they want.

But how do you go about telling a 6 yr old that you personally think what she is saying is fiction? This isn't the same as father xmas, or the easter bunny, this is quite a serious topic! She believes that when you die, you go to heaven etc which is a nice thought, but in my opinion not the case.

I have tried to educate them further with my limited knowledge of other religions also, as i don't want them thinking that what they hear at school is the only way.

So go on then people, how do you deal with it in your house? I am confused about the whole thing typing this out!

 

[Snelly]

My kids have questioning minds at 10 and 8 years old and often ask theological questions as they are both at C of E schools.

My wife and I have broadly the same views on religion and are totally honest with our kids when they ask. We say that we don't believe that any God exists but that we might be wrong and everyone has to make up their own minds about it. My son (eldest) and I had a look at some of the arguments on this website together and he started to draw some fairly logical conclusions....

http://www.yourgodisimaginary.com/index.htm

They are growing up with open minds but already have some formed opinions and it is interesting to chat with them about it.

 

[Slab]

I guess I'd take the approach that whether or not I think god exists, religion does exist, so I'd use that to be able to discuss any and all religions with the approach of "some people believe abc, others believe xyz and still other believe 123 etc etc, and everyone gets to choose if they want one and they sometimes change as they grow older"

 

[brendy]

Same here Rooter, I dont believe at all and the wife isnt a church goer but thinks there must be something after our time on this planet. None of our 3 children were christened and no-one queried our decision (certainly not to us anyway). My eldest girl has asked and I told her what I thought and how some people do believe etc and she has decided (quite a clever analytical thinker for her age) that there is no god neither until proven otherwise. Whatever my other two girls decide, I will support them regardless.

 

[Deleted member 18588]

At the ages of 4 & 6 I cannot see any need for you to disavow your children of their fledgling knowledge.

As you will know they are, by nature, enquiring beings and their knowledge and any spiritual beliefs will develop at their own pace. By all means answer their questions but, I would suggest, at a level appropriate to their ages.

After all you have not yet told them that Father Christmas is nothing but a commercially supported con.

 

[brendy]

After all you have not yet told them that Father Christmas is nothing but a commercially supported con.

You what? next you'll be telling me the tooth fairy is nonsense too

 

[Deleted member 18588]

You what? next you'll be telling me the tooth fairy is nonsense too

Ssshhh! I was saving that revelation until you were a little older.

 

[bladeplayer]

Before I start, I am fully aware this could get messy, however I am sure everyone can be grown up about it!

So, my question or dilemma is, as a complete atheist, how should i deal with my kids learning about religion? Living in a very prominent, middle class COE type area, the only religion they really get any detail on at school is Christianity. With Easter just gone, both my 4yr and 6yr olds have come home from school full of stories of the resurrection, etc etc.

We did not get any of our kids christened, my wife is a non practising catholic BTW and i am nothing. we decided before they were born, we would take the same attitude as my parents did, by not enforcing anything and if when they were old enough they can chose whatever they want.

But how do you go about telling a 6 yr old that you personally think what she is saying is fiction? This isn't the same as father xmas, or the easter bunny, this is quite a serious topic! She believes that when you die, you go to heaven etc which is a nice thought, but in my opinion not the case.

I have tried to educate them further with my limited knowledge of other religions also, as i don't want them thinking that what they hear at school is the only way.

So go on then people, how do you deal with it in your house? I am confused about the whole thing typing this out!

Tough call on this one mate , most know where i am on this but i wouldnt for a second try tell anyone im right you are wrong ..

just on the highlighted bit ,& i know its not your thoughts but maybe this is no harm for kids until they are old enough to understand and decide for themselves , its no harm in kids thinking (whether it be the case or not) that all will be ok , they will have to deal with the harshness of realities in their own time ..

I know people will say they shouldn't grow up believing what may be wrong , but wrong for who? one may end up religious one could end up hating religion ..
I think its important to explain its better to be nice & kind and good in the way you treat people rather than have a religious branding ..

You will in time have to teach your kids different realities & different things as their innocence wains with age , if it was me id take the good things , the things that make your little ones feel happy & safe & as they get older and ask different questions be honest in what you believe and be honest in your explination of both sides

 

[G.U.R]

Living in the same area as you Rooter my 3 kids have been through the local Primary school and to be fair to them they do seem to teach an overall picture of the main World religions. Yes they do go to the local church at Christmas for Carols, and the local Vic turns up at school occasionally, but in the whole they seemed to come out with an understanding of various religions. My wife and I are non church goers, and to be fair our kids have never pressed us on our religious beliefs, so we've let sleeping dogs lie.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

I was brought up as a catholic and went to a catholic school but through time I formed my own opinion of religion and priests etc and now I have no belief in any religion.

My mother is a practising catholic but fully understands my choice now

I believe your best bet would be to let your children form their own beliefs as they grow up - at young age it's not harmful to have "nice beliefs" like heaven etc as it could possibly keep them innocent.

 

[Rooter]

Thanks for all the input guys, great to see its all been sensible! whenever you bring religion into conversations, it has the ability to get off topic slightly!