big_russ
Challenge Tour Pro
Just a couple of jokes for the lads on the other side of the hills!!(Sorry for the bad language.
Na then get fooking accent reet when tha reads these!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
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A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have
a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
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A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone
should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready
a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the
widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and
have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's
been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - fooking 'ell man, you've left
the fooking "e" out, you've left the fooking "e" out!
The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be
rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to
the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud -
"E, she were thin".
-----------------------------------
Bloke from Barnsley with a sore *** asks chemist "Nah then lad, does
tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"
Na then get fooking accent reet when tha reads these!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."
---------------------------------------
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have
a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
---------------------------------------
A Yorkshireman's wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone
should have the words "she were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready
a few days after the funeral. True to his word the stone mason calls the
widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and
have a look.
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's
been engraved "she were thin". He explodes - fooking 'ell man, you've left
the fooking "e" out, you've left the fooking "e" out!
The stone mason apologises and assures the poor widower that it will be
rectified the following morning. Next day comes and the widower returns to
the stone mason - "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud -
"E, she were thin".
-----------------------------------
Bloke from Barnsley with a sore *** asks chemist "Nah then lad, does
tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, magnum or cornetto?"
