quinn
Q-School Graduate
my mate kelvins swing has to be it for me, sorry mate if you ever read this
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whats the funniest thing you have seen on a golf course
- Thread starter quinn
- Start date
hovis
Tour Winner
when the green keepers springer swollowed my mates ball after he shanked his tee shot. ruined my game as i couldn't compose myself and had the chuckles for the remaining 7 holes.
2 weeks later the green keeper give my mate the ball back. the vet had to induce sickness. good job pro v's dont come cheep.
2 weeks later the green keeper give my mate the ball back. the vet had to induce sickness. good job pro v's dont come cheep.
quinn
Q-School Graduate
finally got round to playing the brabazon, we had played the pga in the morning so we had an hour to kill in between cue mr carling and mr artois to make an appearance 
( obviously for relaxation purposes) so my mate stands on the tee on the 1st at the brabazon fullfilling his life time dream, tees up his 3 iron ( fanny) to be safe, and proceeded to hit the ground about a foot before the ball , the divot could have been used to turf wembley, followed by the immortal words from the starter " i dont mean to be rude but can i see your your handicap certificate please"
finally stopped laughing about it on the 18th green,
( obviously for relaxation purposes) so my mate stands on the tee on the 1st at the brabazon fullfilling his life time dream, tees up his 3 iron ( fanny) to be safe, and proceeded to hit the ground about a foot before the ball , the divot could have been used to turf wembley, followed by the immortal words from the starter " i dont mean to be rude but can i see your your handicap certificate please" finally stopped laughing about it on the 18th green,
Smiffy
Grand Slam Winner
Leftie
chrisd
Major Champion
Playing a 4bbb game, my regular partner who enjoyed a Saturday night drink more than most, was out of the hole. He took the flag out and promptly dozed off leaning on the flag standing up!!
Chris
Chris
Bacardibatman
Challenge Tour Pro
its a toss up between 2 for me
(this one made so many laugh)
1st tee,competition on one of the courses at the club "MR BIG SHOT" teeing up with 9 or 10 groups waiting to tee off after his long pre shot routine thins/tops his drive into the ladies metal tee box it rings out like a gong (and gets everyones attention)and the ball flies 20-25 yrds behind him
complete silence for what seemed 7 or 8 seconds but probably 2 or 3 then absolutely everyone burst out laughing at the same time (he looked mortified)
he then proceeds to compose himself nails a 5 wood smack bang into the tree 50 60 yrds down the fairway it bounces back and in 2 shots he's gone 20-30 yds his m8 (whos in one of the groups waiting say "OOOh unnnnnn lucky" and everyone P155es them selves again
probably had to be there to find it so funny
or personal to me
im coming to the end of my shift in the pro shop and looking forward to my afternoon round, was going out as a 1 ball midweek not many ppl about a 2 ball of ladies (im guessing late 30's early 40's) id just signed in b4 finishing going out b4 me im practising putting waiting for them to go - one of the ladies (fairly new to playing) looks over and says to me "would you like to join us for a threesome" i probably went all shades of red and purple
looked at the other lady who smiles and says to her friend "i think you mean a 3 ball"
(dont know if she knew what she was saying and messing about or a genuine mistake)
bit embarrassing at the time but funny when i look back on it
(this one made so many laugh)
1st tee,competition on one of the courses at the club "MR BIG SHOT" teeing up with 9 or 10 groups waiting to tee off after his long pre shot routine thins/tops his drive into the ladies metal tee box it rings out like a gong (and gets everyones attention)and the ball flies 20-25 yrds behind him
complete silence for what seemed 7 or 8 seconds but probably 2 or 3 then absolutely everyone burst out laughing at the same time (he looked mortified)
he then proceeds to compose himself nails a 5 wood smack bang into the tree 50 60 yrds down the fairway it bounces back and in 2 shots he's gone 20-30 yds his m8 (whos in one of the groups waiting say "OOOh unnnnnn lucky" and everyone P155es them selves again
probably had to be there to find it so funny
or personal to me
im coming to the end of my shift in the pro shop and looking forward to my afternoon round, was going out as a 1 ball midweek not many ppl about a 2 ball of ladies (im guessing late 30's early 40's) id just signed in b4 finishing going out b4 me im practising putting waiting for them to go - one of the ladies (fairly new to playing) looks over and says to me "would you like to join us for a threesome" i probably went all shades of red and purple
looked at the other lady who smiles and says to her friend "i think you mean a 3 ball"(dont know if she knew what she was saying and messing about or a genuine mistake)
bit embarrassing at the time but funny when i look back on it
rickg
Money List Winner
Viscounts trousers....
Gillespie16
Challenge Tour Pro
im coming to the end of my shift in the pro shop and looking forward to my afternoon round, was going out as a 1 ball midweek not many ppl about a 2 ball of ladies (im guessing late 30's early 40's) id just signed in b4 finishing going out b4 me im practising putting waiting for them to go - one of the ladies (fairly new to playing) looks over and says to me "would you like to join us for a threesome" i probably went all shades of red and purple
(dont know if she knew what she was saying and messing about or a genuine mistake)
bit embarrassing at the time but funny when i look back on it
Haha, brilliant, i bet you went as red as a tomato, it made me laugh, and yer thanks now i got to change my top, spilled tea down it thanks to you
So did you go with them to make a threesome, opps i mean 3 ball?
Bacardibatman
Challenge Tour Pro
being young and shy i did NOT ride the Tricycle i mean play a 3ball 
with time comes knowledge
and should have played 18 with them
with time comes knowledge
and should have played 18 with them
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
I've posted this before but it was a while back and there's been a lot of newbies since then...
Years ago I was playing with an ex Army Seargent called JR. A big guy, even bigger heart and almost as big a swing. Our 4 ball arrived on the tee just as 2 older Ladies were about to tee off. They said that they were only playing 9 and would be slow so would we like to go first. We accepted and prepared. JR steps up and tees the ball high. He's just got a new T-Zoid driver - told you it was years ago - and he'd been recommended to tee it high. I thought he'd tee'd it a bit too high but didn't say anything. JR's almighty swoosh could be felt. He went 99% clean under the ball. The ball caught the very top of the club and sailed into the air. We were playing into a strong breeze and ball actually wnet backwards - landing fully in the ample cleavage of one of the Ladies. JR had to sheepishly ask for his ball back and got a huge smile from the Old Girl.
The rest of us were just dying, honestly fighting for breath, tears flowing and sides splitting. The funniest thing I've ever seen anywhere, let alone on a golf course.
Years ago I was playing with an ex Army Seargent called JR. A big guy, even bigger heart and almost as big a swing. Our 4 ball arrived on the tee just as 2 older Ladies were about to tee off. They said that they were only playing 9 and would be slow so would we like to go first. We accepted and prepared. JR steps up and tees the ball high. He's just got a new T-Zoid driver - told you it was years ago - and he'd been recommended to tee it high. I thought he'd tee'd it a bit too high but didn't say anything. JR's almighty swoosh could be felt. He went 99% clean under the ball. The ball caught the very top of the club and sailed into the air. We were playing into a strong breeze and ball actually wnet backwards - landing fully in the ample cleavage of one of the Ladies. JR had to sheepishly ask for his ball back and got a huge smile from the Old Girl.
The rest of us were just dying, honestly fighting for breath, tears flowing and sides splitting. The funniest thing I've ever seen anywhere, let alone on a golf course.
sweatysock41
Q-School Graduate
My mates new 'Auction site special' remote control trolley getting a mind of its own, and, when it was some 50 yards away from him turning 90 degrees left down a bank into a deep ditch. Then to top it all off when he tried to retrieve it he slipped and got a large brown stain down the back of his cream trousers as he slid down to join it. 
None of the rest of the 4 ball could keep a straight face for the rest of the round, so he had some consolation in that he took the money despite everything.
None of the rest of the 4 ball could keep a straight face for the rest of the round, so he had some consolation in that he took the money despite everything.
feary
Challenge Tour Pro
Played with a bloke who lugged his 3 wood into a lake.
He stood there for a second in rage. Then suddenly went white and goes, "oh f**k, that cost me 120 quid!" After a loads of umms and ah's from him he decided to leave it. And he left me in stitches of laughter, like literally rolling on the ground.
He stood there for a second in rage. Then suddenly went white and goes, "oh f**k, that cost me 120 quid!" After a loads of umms and ah's from him he decided to leave it. And he left me in stitches of laughter, like literally rolling on the ground.
Gazp
Assistant Pro
My mate threw his driver 12 feet up a conifer & got it stuck up there...he then threw his putter up there to knock the driver out of the tree...he succeeded in doing this but the putter was left up there. He never got it back
My mate was having a horror around Sunningdale Ladies and in frustration he swung so hard he literally helicopeted himself off his feet into a crumpled mess. He claimed he slipped by I was crying my eyes out with laughter. His mum (Berkshire Ladies Captain) gave him one of those disapproving looks only a mother can
FG_HOOR
Club Champion
i was playing in a junior open at downfield golf club in dundee and some ned came wandering over to myself and the 2 guys i was playing with and asked if we knew where the magic mushies were lol
HickoryShaft
Tour Rookie
Funniest:
Playing in a works society 4 ball and on about the 14th one guy took a massive divot. One of the other guys, who was rather thin on top, ran after it and placed it on his head saying 'perfect fit' . Played for the rest of the match with it in place.
Most Worrying but funny after the round:
When working in Alabama for 6 months played with a local guy who went into the long grass to find a ball and came back with a snake. Not a small grass snake but a big big thing - 3.5 - 4 foot. Unzipped his bag and stuffed it in there announcing 'My son collects snakes'. Me and another Brit who was playing could not really concentrate on the rest of the round with the bag moving around in the background!
I never looked for any wayward balls that day
Playing in a works society 4 ball and on about the 14th one guy took a massive divot. One of the other guys, who was rather thin on top, ran after it and placed it on his head saying 'perfect fit' . Played for the rest of the match with it in place.
Most Worrying but funny after the round:
When working in Alabama for 6 months played with a local guy who went into the long grass to find a ball and came back with a snake. Not a small grass snake but a big big thing - 3.5 - 4 foot. Unzipped his bag and stuffed it in there announcing 'My son collects snakes'. Me and another Brit who was playing could not really concentrate on the rest of the round with the bag moving around in the background!
I never looked for any wayward balls that day
GOLFER1994
Head Pro
On the first hole, my mate who hadnt played much turned and said too me...
" i am going to try play it safe with a 7 iron, its the only club i am confident with and can hit high"
He hit the ball and the next thing a huge bang! He had hit the ladies tee marker and it had smashed. To top it all of it had rolled 15m behind us!!!!
The same hole, different friend, teed up, pulled out the 6 iron for safety, cue snap hook heading straight for the managers window, Thankfully it caught the edge of a tree and ended up in the car park.
Needless to say, I couldnt stop laughing and havnt let either forget
" i am going to try play it safe with a 7 iron, its the only club i am confident with and can hit high"
He hit the ball and the next thing a huge bang! He had hit the ladies tee marker and it had smashed. To top it all of it had rolled 15m behind us!!!!
The same hole, different friend, teed up, pulled out the 6 iron for safety, cue snap hook heading straight for the managers window, Thankfully it caught the edge of a tree and ended up in the car park.
Needless to say, I couldnt stop laughing and havnt let either forget
grumpyjock
Tour Rookie
that was probably me!
Smiffy
Grand Slam Winner
Bob Eagle, a mate of mine, [****] himself in the woods behind the 13th green at East Sussex National.
Watching him waddling down the fairway with a big brown stain in the back of his trousers was quite amusing.
Cheesed me off though 'cos I was one up with five to play at the time and he wouldn't see the match out.
I could have put up with the smell. Honestly.
Watching him waddling down the fairway with a big brown stain in the back of his trousers was quite amusing.
Cheesed me off though 'cos I was one up with five to play at the time and he wouldn't see the match out.
I could have put up with the smell. Honestly.
Myself and a mate partnered up for a fourball yesterday, two new members to our club. They shared half a used matchstick as a ball marker on the green. I took pity and handed them a footjoy glove marker each. At one point there was a stone on my line, I had to ask them if it was their marker just in case I lifted it and threw it away. Not hilarious, but I found it funny.
