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Things That Gladden The Heart

A letter from our mortgage company advising us that our interest rate has gone down.
We're going to be saving 72p a month.....
In 115k years we'll be millionaires....
 
In some way a bit sad but the happier memories overshadowed the sadder ones... On my walk, today, made my way through the woods to Haste Hill... When there, made my way to the third tee and raised a virtual glass to a good friend taken at too far an early age... Twenty-five years on still many happy memories of playing at HH... The third hole being an important part of those memories... My old mate hated that tee shot with affliction... Didn't help that, as soon as leaving the second green, his friendly PP's would start getting into his head casting doubt on his ability to get his ball beyond the two trees that flanked the fairway some 75ish yards out... Happy happy days... RIP old friend...
 
Our local chippy has reopened, pay in advance by card or contactless, pick up or home delivery
.A special fish supper ordered freshly made at 5pm :love::D
 
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As some will know. The missus was finally made redundant in February. She started Almost straight away at Nando’s But with the current situation furlough has become the route that most companies are taking leaving her (we believed) in no mans land. Found out today that the company will be keeping her on. When the discussion turned to pay she told them that she’d only accept 80% as that’s what everyone else is on.

They agreed that the money saved will go into the store staff fund so as to be spend on a good old fashioned drinking sesh once they’re all allowed to socialise.
 
Earlier in the week you may remember I said the local woods had closed the car park.
I went down on my bike on Wednesday, there were 4 police on horse back patrolling the area, not a car in sight.
Went down yesterday, no police and around 6 or 7 cars parked in the passing places and some small service roads.
Went down today, no police and again more cars parked in the same places, I noticed a group of lads in two vans getting their mountain bikes ready.
Came back after my loop and the cops were there writing them all tickets.
I almost got off my bike and applauded them ???
 
Having my own forum stalker.:ROFLMAO:

Hopefully LP will be back soon to distract him.:poop:
 
12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and Radio ?

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator –
'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator –
'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator –
'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 –
'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'

5. US PGA Commentator –
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ........
Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:
'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'
 
Fish said:
12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and Radio ?

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator –
'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator –
'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator –
'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 –
'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'

5. US PGA Commentator –
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ........
Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:
'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'
Click to expand...


These have truly brightened up my afternoon...
Thank you for posting (y)
 
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