Sorry, but I need to moan

swanny32

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Jun 7, 2011
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Tiptree, Essex - Where they make the Jam!
www.utilitywarehouse.org.uk
Today, Daveyck2k and I played, what I feel, was the worst round of golf I have ever played, not for the quality of golf that was on display, which was quite roped the majority of the time but for the company we had to endure for almost 5 hours!

We were joined by a bloke who is known around the club as being the slowest player at the club, when we found this out on the first tee we both looked at each other and rolled our eyes. What struck me most about this bloke and his regular playing partner was not their speed of play but their arrogance and complete lack of personality and charisma, seriously, the hard skin on the heel of my foot has more personality than the two of these blokes combined. No chat, no banter, very minimal amounts of any comment good or bad at all and without a doubt the MOST boring people I have ever played with in my golfing career.

The slow guy plays off 9, the other chap 11, although from their display today they weren't worthy of such low handicaps and definitely didn't justify the arrogance and pig ignorance.

I hit a beautiful 9 iron into the 17th green which both Davey and I watched pitch short of the bunker, for the record the 9 handicapper was stood 30 feet to the right of us and didn't bother watching my shot or where it ended up and we were slightly blinded by some trees, we were sure it would have rolled in to the bunker or maybe stopped short. We searched and searched to no avail so as it was a medal I ran back to hit another one. As I was hitting another one, the ball was found out the back of the green to which this bloke turned to Davey and said "Is he blind, anyone could see that ball". Davey knobbed his tee shot off the par 3 13th tee which rolled and rolled and eventually ran out the back of the green, to which one of them said "I saw someone get a hole in 1 from a shot like that, yes, it was that bad of a shot" which was not meant in jest.

They helped look for balls for all of about a minute, sometimes longer if we were going to be waiting to play, they walked down the fairway after playing their second shots on multiple occasions leaving me and Davey to shout at them telling them to get out of the way as we played ours and then the one thing that really really got to me was on the 9th tee, short par 3, the 9 handicapper said "we need to speed thing up a bit gentleman"....his partner hit his, Davey hit his, I hit mine (to about 3 feet, missed the putt) then his lordship, Mr billy big nuts (can you sense I'm a bit bitter?) stood on the tee and took an eternity to play his shot.........POT KETTLE BLACK! I could have wrapped my 9 iron around his smarmy smug face if it weren't for the fact that it was my brand new Amp.

Ok, rant over, I'm winding myself up just writing about it so I'll stop. Davey can add some more comments about their antics although think I have pretty much covered most of them. One thing is for sure, if and when I get down to a single figure handicap, I'm using these two blokes as inspiration to not be a complete and utter **** (you can add any 4 letter obscenity here that you see fit).

If CallawayKid see this, please bring you best banter and sense of humour on Tuesday morning fella, Davey and I need an enjoyable round of golf this bank holiday weekend.
 
Oh dear it's seems the excitement if new shineys was beaten out of you today let's hope you avoid these guys in the near future and your match to morrow is a blast!
 
As Swanny so rightly says he has pretty much covered everything. Not my worst golf but most definitely the least I have EVER enjoyed a round, and it certainly takes a lot to wind us up on the course so much that after 12 holes we barely said a word to them until we shook hands (somewhat begrudgingly) on the 18th.
 
Played with a couple of guys like him/them. Very concerned about slow play, but are the slowest players on the planet! My solution (to keep my sanity) was to laugh and treat it as a challenge (to not ram a 3-iron down their throat). Almost always, any comment was to deflect attention from their own slowness. I had a few 'standard' comments too. Any comment about spending a little more time than they thought I should (eg checking line of putt) was replied to by 'I find I have fewer strokes if I do this, so that saves more time overall'.
 
Very hard to enjoy it with knobs like that. Shame they didn't find any trouble as it would have been interesting to see if they'd said anything as you made a cursory scan for it and then moved on or the'y lost the flight of ball and you couldn't be asked to see where it had gone.

Put it down to a bad day, let it go and relax. Tomorrow is another day
 
To be honest Swanny, as you and Davey obviously know each other and get on well enough, I would have just blanked these 2 clowns and chatted to Davey. Every golf club has guys like this, the secret is to either avoid them or when you do have to play with them, switch off and don't let them wind you up.
 
As Swanny so rightly says he has pretty much covered everything. Not my worst golf but most definitely the least I have EVER enjoyed a round, and it certainly takes a lot to wind us up on the course so much that after 12 holes we barely said a word to them until we shook hands (somewhat begrudgingly) on the 18th.

Least enjoyable round of golf is what I was trying to say. Much better choice of words.
 
To be honest Swanny, as you and Davey obviously know each other and get on well enough, I would have just blanked these 2 clowns and chatted to Davey. Every golf club has guys like this, the secret is to either avoid them or when you do have to play with them, switch off and don't let them wind you up.

This is what we tried to do, unfortunately the conversation usually turned to talking about them under our breath (rightly or wrongly but unavoidable) which then wound me up more. Unfortunately Dave put us down for the competition about a month ago when the sheet first went up, they joined us on the tee sheet so we didn't have much choice.

Alas, you live and you learn, and today I found two people who I will do everything in my power to never play golf with again. Now I have said that, what's odds will you give me for drawing them in our winter league group come November.
 
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