Mrs. Malaprop rides again

ManinBlack

ManinBlack

Tour Winner
Joined
Jan 24, 2014
Messages
6,388
Location
South Shields
www.camera-angles.co.uk
We were at the range / American Golf discussing wrongly used words this morning. I mentioned my wife describing a friend as having cancer of the sarcophagus. The daughter of a mate of mine announced to the family "Grandpa is in hospital with an enlarged prostitute". One of the former American Golf employees was once lamenting his tendency to fall asleep without warning. "I've always been troubled by necrophilia" he said.
 
When we moved into this house, I put some dado rail in the hall. MIL came and said that’s nice what is it. I said “Dildo rail”. She turned to the father in law and innocently said “ what’s the chance of having some Dildo in our house “. 😳
 
Count Arthur Strong rules!
His loss of memory was due to Ambrosia.
Trying to recall his Forces experience "Now, what would the Gherkins do?"
 
I remember my Aunt passing on a bit if gossip to my Mum when I was a nipper, but bright enough to recognise a "Mrs Malaprop" or Hilda Baker line.
My Aunt dropped her voice, drew on her fag, looked around (at no-one) and whispered to my Mum "She's been having a candlestein affair with him".
Classic Cissy and Ada.
 
Not sure if it was a malapropism, or whether it just counts as a typo - but my ex-boss had to produce some leaflets for the public opening of a new facility. Unfortunately the leaflet proudly declared that "... the pubic opening will be at 11:00 ..."
 
Little chubby Bro and I used to work in a supermarket late 1970’s (Thursday evening & Saturday) and we often had to change the display posters to whatever the next promotion was.

Saw a poster promoting a certain ladies sanitary product
“For Short Period Only”

Told the manager who said words to the effect of “Flipping Heck”

He got on the phone to head office as it was a nationwide promotion to get it pulled 😬
 
Many years ago the family were sitting in the departure lounge at Gatwick when my little sister tried to order a “ hand and cheese punani “

The waitress did her best to control her self, walked of with a grin then burst out laughing. My sister had no idea.
 
My late mother wasn’t into tech. My daughter entering uni in the 90s had a basic word processor, my mother always called it a word compressor. In a way, probably quite correctly.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top