Jury duty - the best way to get out of it!

[John_Findlay]

As an ex-lawyer, luckily I'm exempt for life, but my mates keep getting served with calls to serve on jury duty. Very inconvenient when you've got a golf holiday in the offing. 2 are having a panic as we speak.

So what's the best way to ensure you don't get picked? Is it a matter of rolling one trouser leg up; developing a twitch and talking to yourself; or getting a swastica tattoo on your forehead? All suggestions gratefully received.

 

[The23rdman]

Declare yourself a Taoist. Taoist do not believe in the concept of right and wrong meaning you'll never be able to reach a decision over guilt.

 

[benny]

Keep your name off the electoral role. Or you can postpone it for a year. Or, if theres a black/white/asian/chinese defendant, declare that you would be unable to reach an unbiased decision on the person as you are racially prejudiced - they'll get you straight out of there. Ever see Curb your Enthusiasm?
Do what it takes, I would.

 

[mick]

be a silly young man like i was and get a criminal record.

benny curb your enthusiasm best thing on telly ever.

 

[TonyN]

Just tell them you know the guy in the dock, you be a goner!

 

[backwoodsman]

Sorry guys but most of the above won't work (although I don't know about the criminal record method or indeed the taoism method...)

But the others definitely won't as you're already doing duty sitting in the jurers' waiting room long before you know you've got a case involving your next door neighbour or someone you can be prejudiced about.

On other hand, if they have a golf trip booked, then they can just say "I've got a golf trip booked" That's enough to get it deferred.

As to getting out of it for good, I'd suggest - don't. I've done it once, and thought it was extremely interesting & that everyone should get to do it at least once. Unless of course you get lumbered with something like the Guinness trial....

 

[John_Findlay]

Quite happy never to have to do one, Backwoodsman. Seen enough in my days. My friends weren't looking forward to it at all. High Court in Edinburgh usually meant rape or murder trial. No fun.

 

[backwoodsman]

Fair point J-F. I dare say there's enough cases that are just too harrowing to be labelled as being in the "interesting" category.

Other thing is that, having sat on a jury, I'm not convinced that a jury is necessarily the best way of determining guilt. For certain on one of my cases everyone had decided that the cocky little bast**d was bound to have done it. Evidence be damned - he couldn't have afforded that suit if he hadn't done it, now could he....

 

[RGuk]

Getting out of it "on the day" isn't a problem. If you can't read the card....you'll be out of there quick smart. But that doesn't mean you can go home. There was a young chap in the pool when I did it who seemed upset to be removed every time. As he could not read he kept getting recycled.

I had to laugh at bwm's comments. I was jury foreman on a few cases and there was one where some scuffy bad-boy oik was up for a.b.h. or similar. The witness statements and verbal record of events were pretty conclusive but there was no factual evidence. We knew he'd done it....but we had to offer a not guilty verdict....silly c.p.s.

 

[Golfuk]

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[DCB]

Re: Unsolicited Advertising

Please don't do this.

You've hi-jacked a thread with a blatant advetisment for your own organisation and the benefits of online buying.

If you are a reputable organisation you will have thought about the negative effect your spamming of this forum may have on your business. You have chosen to take that risk, now you will have to deal with the consequences.

Try the TG forum or Golf Magic, they may be more likely to elicit a response from potential customers.

Thank you

 

[andycap]

Re: Purchasing Quality Golf Equipment at Affordable Prices

I get e-mail from sportshq quite often , sometimes daily.
I have purchased from them in the past , if i recall they where doing a wedge for £1 if you spend over £10. I bought a box of AD333 balls that were not at a particuarly great price ,but i considered that i got the wedge for a £1 plus postage .
The wedge was useless ,really heavy and nearly 2 inches longer than my wedges (offloaded it at a boot sale)
Since then i have not seen anything that i've thought was any good both in price or quality.
And as a result of your blatant hijack of a thread with your blunderbus sales approach, you can rest assured that my next task is to unsubscribe from your mailing list
UP YOURS MATEY

 

[Leftie]

Re: Golfuk hijacker

Moderator notified

 

[RGuk]

Hi J_F. Last time I was selected, I did it with glee and then charged for 10 days at full self-employed rates. Cost them a packet. A waste of cash? probably not, I stood as foreman for almost all the cases and I this was the right decision as i.i.r.c. nobody else had any education and most couldn't even read the "declaration" on the card!!!

How to get out of it?

It's got to be some sort of "obnoxious" political/social attitude. I'd be tempted to write expressing overwhelming joy at the prospect and then to "advise" them that my right wing attitudes of fervent nationalism/racism/class-ism/anything-ism is looking forward to seeing all criminal scum banged up for ever or hung!!!

(Please note; this is not my real political view - I'm a sort of social-equality-biased-responsible-capitalist-with-budhist-ideals)

 

[viscount17]

(Please note; this is not my real political view - I'm a sort of social-equality-biased-responsible-capitalist-with-budhist-ideals)

Personally, I think Attila the Hun was a bit of a wet.

I may be in a minority but I'd like to do it, so long as it didn't get in the way of the golf!

 

[thecraw]

Tell them that you recognise the person in the dock. You will not be picked.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I did it when I was in my early 20's and was annoyed a few years ago having moved from SW London (I served at Kingston Crown Court) to Bracknell to be asked to serve at Reading. I managed to get a six month postponement and then another but then got another letter.

However I was suffering from stomach problems (regular upset stomachs that would come on pretty quickly without warning which would have been a pre-cursor to my pancreas trouble) and the doctor was treating it as irritable bowel.

I wrote a letter to them explaining the nature of my problem and that it could strike wihout much warning and that if I suffered an attack during a trial would make it impossible for me to sit thorugh the hearing without needing regualr loo breaks. It worked a treat and I got a letter discharging me from serving and haven't heard anything since (nearly 7 years ago)

 

[vig]

Best way... Get yourself arrested!