Golf makes me miserable.

[i*windows]

this year I was hoping to get to 9, but instead have hit the heady heights of 16. I play great golf when I'm by myself or in a social round, but I'm terrible in any sort of competition and it is starting to make me miserable - does this happen to anyone else?

 

[Slab]

Not miserable but I do usually bottle it when club champs comes round, so plenty of other emotions (I even managed to lead after day 1 then promptly hit oob on first tee off day 2 ??)

But that's part of golf, I have to find a way to deal with it better
No point just hitting it well if I crumble when it counts

 

[Bamberdele2.0]

If this game was a mental health condition it would be bi-polar

 

[Deleted member 23344]

You are not alone … my scores in competition rounds are often several shots higher than in social rounds. It’s all in the head. Not sure what the answer is.

 

[Swango1980]

this year I was hoping to get to 9, but instead have hit the heady heights of 16. I play great golf when I'm by myself or in a social round, but I'm terrible in any sort of competition and it is starting to make me miserable - does this happen to anyone else?

As people say, it is in the head. Many people have a much higher desire to do well in a competition compared to a knock with their mates. So, stress levels increase worrying about a future shot that may mess up our round, and when we inevitably hit a bad shot, get a bit of bad luck, we beat ourselves up over it. Hate golf and it is just a downward spiral. Sometimes, we may even find that once we have truly thrown it all away, we might have a good run of holes because we are no longer mentally stressed, the damage has already been done and so we no longer care about hitting a bad shot, ironically leading to better golf.

Since moving clubs, we get so many more people in each competition. So, the expectation of a high placed finish is much lower, even on a good day. For me, it has removed all expectation, to the point I no longer get really stressed about it. I just accept that I will hit some awful shots, make ridiculous mistakes and get some bad luck. I'll sigh in frustration as it happens, but no longer worry much after that. Just smile and move on. I reckon even someone Mickleson likes making the odd mistake, as he turns it into a positive as something that allows him to pull something amazing off in the next shot. Now that I no longer beat myself up, golf is so much more fun to play. And, although I of course still have a lot of rubbish rounds, I have actually had a few really good results lately. Can't remove the pressure completely, as you want to keep a good round going, but it is nice when you can just shrug your shoulders if you mess it up a little or a lot.

 

[CliveW]

I play great golf when I'm by myself or in a social round, but I'm terrible in any sort of competition and it is starting to make me miserable - does this happen to anyone else?

Then you should be putting in General Play scores rather than playing in competitions.

 

[The Fader]

What is actually making you miserable?

Playing poorly or not winning or placing in the comps? There is a huge difference.

If you want a lower handicap, then as others have said - submit general play cards.

Golf at our level is for me a case of L&P - leisure and pleasure. The way I look at things - my #1 priority is my family, #2 is my financial and physical well being - anything after that is a distant 3rd, so on that basis, playing less than stellar golf doesn't make me miserable. If it does for you - perhaps you need to re-assess your priorities or find something else to do that makes you happy.

 

[bobmac]

If you stand on the first tee in a comp and expect to be terrible, guess what.....
You've got to learn how to be confident so maybe hit a shorter club off the first tee, one that you know you can hit well, even if it's a 5 iron.
Confidence breeds confidence

 

[mister v]

I used to be similar to the OP , id hit a few bad shots and then be miserable which would make me play worse etc.... My Mrs said if it makes you so miserable why are you doing it? there are plenty of people in the cemetary who wish they could be as bad as me!
I changed my outlook and now am genuinly enjoying my golf and would you believe it im play a bit better
so much of golf is between the ears

 

[i*windows]

What is actually making you miserable?

Playing poorly or not winning or placing in the comps? There is a huge difference.

If you want a lower handicap, then as others have said - submit general play cards.

Golf at our level is for me a case of L&P - leisure and pleasure. The way I look at things - my #1 priority is my family, #2 is my financial and physical well being - anything after that is a distant 3rd, so on that basis, playing less than stellar golf doesn't make me miserable. If it does for you - perhaps you need to re-assess your priorities or find something else to do that makes you happy.

very well said.

I get miserable when I dont play well, I expect to play well in every match. I'm quite competitive. I know I shouldnt have high expectations as I'm not a pro - not even a decent amateur, but I just can't help it. I think I need to lower my expectations and enjoy comps more.

 

[patricks148]

Not me far better fun playing crap golf then working or going shopping with the wife.

 

[Imurg]

Not me far better fun playing crap golf then working or going shopping with the wife.

Is the correct answer

 

[jim8flog]

My question would be

" Why do you want a lower handicap if you cannot play to it in competition?"

Surely playing competitions is the true test of your ability.

I have come home from a few comps and kicked the neighbours cat.

 

[Hobbit]

When you’re out on the course playing a competition you are where you want to be. When you hit a few bad shots, you are still where you want to be. And you hitting those bad shots doesn’t determine whether or not you can pay your bills or put food on the table. You can’t do anything about the bad shot you’ve just hit, so why dwell on it, but you can do something about how you approach your next shot.

Golf is that simple. Think about the next shot, that’s all. The score will be what it will be. Thinking about your last shot, or the dreaded tee shot 4 holes ahead does nothing but distract you from the shot you’re about to play. Educate yourself on what you really should be thinking about, it does take some self-training in the early days, and I guarantee your game will improve dramatically.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

If golf makes you miserable, then you are doing it wrong,

Accept your limitations/ change your mindset or find something you do like.

Dominoes, macrame, bowls ?

Life is too short to be miserable ?

 

[Golfmmad]

Then you should be putting in General Play scores rather than playing in competitions.

But that's the same thing surely. You have to declare it before playing so it's the same pressure to play well.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Then you should be putting in General Play scores rather than playing in competitions.

Exactly this. Just get used to putting cards in - but don’t treat the round as a comp. it’s just a round of golf. And the card you complete is simply lobbed into your pool of 20 rounds.

If the end result is a good score then it’ll ‘float on the top‘ of your pool of 20 rounds and probably count; if it’s rubbish it’ll ‘sink to the bottom‘, most likely never to be seen again.

 

[Orikoru]

Stop playing for a while then and see how much you miss it (if at all). It's a leisure activity and it's supposed to be fun. Most of get down in the dumps when we have a crap round, but even a bad round is better than a good day in the office, or doing DIY or gardening or something equally tedious. If golf makes you miserable then you're doing it wrong and you need to work out a different way of doing it.