"Boys don't wear dresses..."

hovis said:
get a grip. i said "treating a boy like a pansy" that has no relation to homosexuality at all. you are just searching for ammunition to justify your personal attack on me. i find it a amusing that you have been offended by me saying an imaginary boy is a pansy. you are a sensitive person aren't you!!

someone else has also called you out so jog on MR Bully


oh, and "pansy" means being weak and pathetic. no mention of homosexuality in the dictionary
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You’re a fireman, correct? Use the term ‘pansy’ at work, see how you get on.
There was no personal attack, I just hoped that you wouldn’t pass on your obvious prejudice on to any children that you may have.
 
therod said:
Back in! It’s my Christmas mission to welcome you fellas into the 21st century!
The use of pansy in that context is a homophobic slur, hence the response.
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so, i have offended you by using the word pansy in the context set out in the dictionary "WEAK AND PATHETIC" and you have attached homosexuality to it and it my fault?

this is what i mean people. free to have an opinion? only if another person doesn't take something out of context so it hurts their poor little feelings.

people just need to man up. what an existence people have if they get offended by a single word used by a stranger?
 
therod said:
You’re a fireman, correct? Use the term ‘pansy’ at work, see how you get on.
There was no personal attack, I just hoped that you wouldn’t pass on your obvious prejudice on to any children that you may have.
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you shouldn't be able to reproduce is an attack no matter how you look at it.

and as for using pansy at work i would simply have to justify rightly or wrongly why i called someone weak and pathetic at work..

but the truth is behind closed door we hear a lot worse. we just don't go crying on forums
 
therod said:
If you’re gonna quote the replies you need to add context, no?

Any thoughts on the above?
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A couple.

I agree that the way you treat your children will have a massive affect on their later life(s). The nature v nurture balance is a difficult one though.
A good example is that Canadian couple that refuses to give their child a gender, that is going to be one very confused child imo, but that's slighty ot so...

As regards the 'pansy' bit which you seem to find really offensive, I personally have no real problem with it unless it's used to bully or belittle someone. In the context hovis uses it, I think it's just a descriptive way to get his pov across. Not eloquent, but I get his drift.

Edited for clarity.
 
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hovis said:
so, i have offended you by using the word pansy in the context set out in the dictionary "WEAK AND PATHETIC" and you have attached homosexuality to it and it my fault?

this is what i mean people. free to have an opinion? only if another person doesn't take something out of context so it hurts their poor little feelings.

people just need to man up. what an existence people have if they get offended by a single word used by a stranger?
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Why would it offend me? I’m not gay. I can however find it offensive, and without place in modern society.
You, and others, can dismiss this as me being one of the professionally offended, but that’s missing the point.
I know which side of the argument I am on, and it feels good to be over here !
 
hovis said:
then give me proof. you are stating an opinion not fact.
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I accept it's my opinion but I've never met anyone who's gay suggesting that they ever had a choice in their sexuality and a couple of family members who are gay, one male and one female of very different ages, have told me that they never chose same sex relationships because of their upbringing it's simply in their genes
 
Lazkir said:
A couple.

I agree that the way you treat your children will have a massive affect on their later life(s). The nature v nurture balance is a difficult one though.

As regards the 'pansy' bit which you seem to find really offensive, I personally have no real problem with it unless it's used to bully or belittle someone. In the context hovis uses it, I think it's just a descriptive way to get his pov across. Not eloquent, but I get his drift. A good example is that Canadian couple that refuses to give their child a gender, that is going to be one very confused child imo, but that's slighty ot so...
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Extreme cases aren’t great examples, but I don’t disagree with you.
We’re gonna go around in circles, as is the nature of this forum, but there is nothing wrong with a small boy exploring pre conceived gender boundaries, it doesn’t make him gay, gender fluid etc etc, he’s just playing. To out him in front of 5.7 million instagram followers is wrong, and to imply him wearing a dress is wrong is uninformed.

Re pansy, again we’re not gonna agree. It’s use in that context offensive IMO and is revealing regards those who would use it.
There are worse words that could be used, but the implication is the same.
 
chrisd said:
I accept it's my opinion but I've never met anyone who's gay suggesting that they ever had a choice in their sexuality and a couple of family members who are gay, one male and one female of very different ages, have told me that they never chose same sex relationships because of their upbringing it's simply in their genes
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I'm not saying that a parent sits down and says "son, be gay". ..
 
hovis said:
what an existence people have if they get offended by a single word used by a stranger?
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You don't get to chose what offends people. The person on the receiving end determines if you are offensive or not. You will know that what you say to the guys on watch with you you couldn't say to your mum-in-law. And knowing what is acceptable out on the course with your regular 4 ball may not be acceptable in an inter-club mixed comp.

In some things you may well be right, and someone might be too sensitive but if you have a majority of people saying you're extreme, then you are extreme.

As to scientists not knowing what makes a homosexual person, you're right they don't know exactly. However, they do agree that it isn't learned nor is it the result of trauma. It may be 'released' because of trauma, i.e. a subconscious excuse to say what they really are. The root of homosexuality resides in a mix of hormones and dna. And it is recognised by the scientific community that there is no substantive evidence to back up your claim that parenting will affect sexuality.
 
therod said:
Extreme cases aren’t great examples, but I don’t disagree with you.
We’re gonna go around in circles, as is the nature of this forum, but there is nothing wrong with a small boy exploring pre conceived gender boundaries, it doesn’t make him gay, gender fluid etc etc, he’s just playing. To out him in front of 5.7 million instagram followers is wrong, and to imply him wearing a dress is wrong is uninformed.

Re pansy, again we’re not gonna agree. It’s use in that context offensive IMO and is revealing regards those who would use it.
There are worse words that could be used, but the implication is the same.
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my definition of pansys
https://youtu.be/r5T8FJ7TldU


if that's not funny then there's no help
 
chrisd said:
I accept it's my opinion but I've never met anyone who's gay suggesting that they ever had a choice in their sexuality and a couple of family members who are gay, one male and one female of very different ages, have told me that they never chose same sex relationships because of their upbringing it's simply in their genes
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Same thoughts here tbh. I know plenty of people that have been in straight relationships for years in order to conform to the norm, but eventually found that the lie was damaging their health and sanity. Much happier now they're out.
But I do think that children need guidance from their parents, and if that means keeping them in their defined boxes until they can make their own choices then whilst it's not perfect, I do agree with a previous poster that it will prevent a lot of heartache and bullying while they're growing up. The most evil people in the world (sometimes) are other peoples children, and the damage they can do will last a lifetime.
 
hovis said:
I'm not saying that a parent sits down and says "son, be gay". ..
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Not in so many words, but you said that sexuality is not predefined at birth in your opinion, so, if you're right every child could be bought up to a subsequently chosen sexual choice - or in other words - straight
 
chrisd said:
Not in so many words, but you said that sexuality is not predefined at birth in your opinion, so, if you're right every child could be bought up to a subsequently chosen sexual choice - or in other words - straight
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would you agree that if a boy was kept in a house until 16 and only shown photos of men and told it is normal to fancy them, then he would turn out gay or do you link his brain would kick in and he'd jump on the first female that walked past?
 
hovis said:
would you agree that if a boy was kept in a house until 16 and only shown photos of men and told it is normal to fancy them, then he would turn out gay or do you link his brain would kick in and he'd jump on the first female that walked past?
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I absolutely dont think it would make him homosexual. I'm not sure "jumping on a female" is something that I'd like to contemplate but feel certain that he would be immediately attracted too.
 
chrisd said:
I absolutely dont think it would make him homosexual. I'm not sure "jumping on a female" is something that I'd like to contemplate but feel certain that he would be immediately attracted too.
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ok then.

I'm thinking arnold schwarzenegger in "twins" 😁
 
therod said:
You’re a fireman, correct? Use the term ‘pansy’ at work, see how you get on.
There was no personal attack, I just hoped that you wouldn’t pass on your obvious prejudice on to any children that you may have.
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I don’t think he would get on badly using it at work.. I work in a very “dark humour” environment with plenty of open gay men and women and some of the stuff we come out with to each other would offend every single daily mail reader

Think pansy has been used more than a few times but to be honest that’s a toned down word indeed
 
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