USER1999
Grand Slam Winner
I might have posted this before, but I made a comment on the whisky thread which reminded me of some thing which happened a few years ago.
I had cut a lot of trees down in my garden, and had been gradually burning the wood to get rid of it (wish I had kept it for my chimnea, but there you go). I had a pile about 8 ft high, and about 12 ft across, so there was a lot to burn. I'd have a bonfire most nights, and burn a sensible amount at a time, so it didn't get out of hand.
This particular night, it was a bit dark, damp and drizzly, but undeterred, I went out anyway, and mounded up the nights offerings to the fire god. I put a load of old newspaper at the bottom of the pile, and lit it, but could I get the bonfire going? Could I heck. It was all too damp. So I had an idea.....
Petrol.
That'll get it going.
(Stella had been consumed, I admit).
So I went and got my petrol can. I didn't think I'd need much, so I carefully poured a mug full out, and poured it over my bonfire. I then retired to a safe distance. About 6 feet away. At this point, I started thinking about setting it alight. Maybe I should have poured a little on the grass, to make a trail like in the movies. Or, I could light a twig, and try throwing it at the fire from distance (seen this done in movies too, with a match or cigarette). This seemed easier, so out came the lighter. I hadn't got a twig yet, but thought I'd test the lighter first.
I clicked the lighter, and instantly the whole world turned bright orange.
I was engulfed in a massive fire ball.
As luck would have it, it went out almost instantly, but idiot here is wearing a hawaiaan shirt made out of man made fibres . As a result, my shirt is now on fire. I have also forgotten to put the cap back on the petrol can, so I am holding a can with 4 ft of flame shooting out of it, and most of half a gallon still in it.
Calmness personified, I put the lid back on the can. Jeez, I must have been hammered, as if I had been sober total panic would have set in. I then slapped my shirt with my wet hands and put my shirt out.
Got to be honest, I got off lightly. If it hadn't been raining, I think my shirt would have gone up big time. I lost some hair, my eye brows, and burned my hands a bit, but not badly.
I figured explaining it to the missus might be tough, but she had seen the glow reflected off the ceiling in the study, and figured I had been an idiot, so was not that surprised at my appearance. (She has also known me for a long time, and has ceased being surprised at any thing stupid that I do).
I now use tea lights to start fires, which work very well, and are a heck of a lot safer.
Never, ever, use petrol (or similar) to light a bonfire or barbecue.