Sid Rixon IV's latest activity

If you empty all the receipts out of your wife's purse, flatten them out nicely,. then put two staples on one side. you'll have a tiny...

I went to court yesterday and, after an 8 hour trial, I plead guilty. The judge said "Why didn't you just plead guilty at the outset...

I started every phone call with "My battery's about to die". That way I can hang up as soon as I'm bored.

No matter how stupid you sometimes feel, remember Little Red riding Hood couldn't figure out that a talking wolf, dressed in drag...

I have one highly intelligent child who is designing a new type of parachute and, putting this as politely as I can, I have another...

Me at 16. "I will never end up like my parents!" Me now. "Why are all the lights on upstairs and who's altered the thermostat??"

In my first lesson I was asked to pull over and the instructor tuned in to the Grand National - he had a few bob on Foinavon! He was...

Neve mind that - facing in or out? In, surely!

I'd have sniggered in support.

That is common driving West to East.

Back in the late 60's me and my student mates got a summer job in Port Talbot steelworks. After a shift I proudly produced a can of...

Au contraire! I have a big knocker ( Enter Sid James et al). If anyone actually uses it as meant, as opposed to a "Ding dong" of bell or...

Stayed in an expensive hotel recently. The bathroom towels were a nightmare. So luxuriously thick and fluffy I couldn't close my suitcase.

We were watching TV together when I noticed my wife scratching her face a few times. I said "What's the matter?" She said "My chin is...