Young girls killed by car.[Sensitive topic]

[pokerjoke]

Seeing the news of the 2 girls killed by a car yesterday morning to me is shocking
and very sad.
They were young and definitely too young to die.
What were they doing out at 4.30am.
Before I question the parents let me tell you a little story.

I have 2 girls from a previous relationship,i was unfortunately separated from my girls
when they were 2+3 years old.
I see one of them[16]every 2 months,she always comes over without an issue.
My other one is 17 and comes over 4 times a year.
Recently I went to my home town for a football renunion,and at the end of the night
I went to a pub+club type of place.
My 17 year old was in there,however I didn't say much as shes very sensible and mature
and I have always told her to be careful.
I left at 12 midnight,and went back to stay at a mates house.
At 3.30am I get a txt telling me she had just got home.
I was surprised and shocked that her mum had not given her a time to get home,however she
did pick her up so she didn't walk home.
Me and the ex don't see eye to eye,but to me this is bad parenting,as maybe also the case
in the above story.
Your thoughts.
Please keep it civil.

 

[anotherdouble]

Until all of the facts are established you can't really comment. A 14 and 16 year old out in the early hours. Have they been to a party but both lied to their parents about staying at the others house. Very very sad and condolences to both families.

 

[chrisd]

What were they doing out at that time was my first comment when I saw this evenings news? I guess there might be a reason and I don't want to prejudge but two girls 14 and 16 out at 4.30 am ! I am glad that I didn't have daughters!

 

[DappaDonDave]

At 17 (8 years ago). I was going to my local pub, getting drunk, mooching to the Kebab house and getting home at whatever time I wanted. Not a problem with the 3.30am finish, especially as she got a lift home off her mum.

There becomes a point where we have to accept certain things and although 14 (i think that was one of the girls age) is a bit young too be mooching about the street, irregardless of their age the blame should solely be on that of the driver/murderer and not aportioned to the parents. If it was a 35 year old you wouldn't go blaming their 60 year old parents would you?

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Seems a 20 year old now arrested on a double murder charge

 

[Kellfire]

Seems a 20 year old now arrested on a double murder charge

Didn't read the first post, eh?

 

[bladeplayer]

I dont know what to say to ya mate but if she has gotten to 17 without any serious problems he ma must be doing something right .. ya say she is sensible and mature , she is way ahead of a lot of 17 year olds i know .. her ma did pick her up so she knew where she was and she made sure she got home ..

From the outside (much easier place) it seems your girls are turning out ok (or better)

re the 14& 16 year old in the accident , i dont know enough to comment .. sorry

 

[Hobbit]

For all we know, the parents of the two girls who were killed may have been given permission for a very late one. It may have even been their very first late one. Speculating about it, and maybe decrying the parents at such a painful time isn't particularly nice...

As to your own situation; your ex had the sense to choose you, and to have children with you. Just maybe she is capable of making decent judgements. I'm yet to come across many people who weren't out partying till the wee small hours in their late teens. And the danger of being heavy handed about it risks driving their behaviour 'underground' with lies of "I'm just having asleep over at..."

Many years ago, as a distant parent, I learned that being a bit judgemental only means they are less likely to want to come and stay with you. Its not an argument you can win because its an ever shifting scenario as they grow older. Best make the best of it and be there if things go wrong.

 

[pokerjoke]

For all we know, the parents of the two girls who were killed may have been given permission for a very late one. It may have even been their very first late one. Speculating about it, and maybe decrying the parents at such a painful time isn't particularly nice...

As to your own situation; your ex had the sense to choose you, and to have children with you. Just maybe she is capable of making decent judgements. I'm yet to come across many people who weren't out partying till the wee small hours in their late teens. And the danger of being heavy handed about it risks driving their behaviour 'underground' with lies of "I'm just having asleep over at..."

Many years ago, as a distant parent, I learned that being a bit judgemental only means they are less likely to want to come and stay with you. Its not an argument you can win because its an ever shifting scenario as they grow older. Best make the best of it and be there if things go wrong.

Thx for your concern but me and my girls are fine.

Just to answer your first statement.
Giving permission to a 14 year old for a very late one is not responsible parenting.

 

[SaintHacker]

Didn't read the first post, eh?

I can't see anything in the first post that alludes to there being any crime committed?
Assuming this is the one in Gosport, the driver was initially arrested for causing death by dangerous driving but something else has come to light and they've upped it to murder. Very sad.

 

[Hacker Khan]

Here we go again, it's the Madeline McCann thread all over again, a tragedy has happened and people think that passing judgement on the parents is worthy of a thread.

I just wish I was as perfect and morally righteous as some people on this board.

 

[Doon frae Troon]

When my girls were younger I was given a very good bit of advice from a friend with older girls.

Always say that you will pick them up when they are out, no matter how inconvenient, and always look like you are pleased to do so.

 

[arnieboy]

A very sad and tragic event.

 

[hovis]

What were they doing out at that time was my first comment when I saw this evenings news? I guess there might be a reason and I don't want to prejudge but two girls 14 and 16 out at 4.30 am ! I am glad that I didn't have daughters!

+1. I wouldnt be letting my kids out at that time. But at the age of 14 I used to pull it off all the time to go camping in the park and night fishing

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Didn't read the first post, eh?

Yep. Valid reply to the fact two girls killed. Not having kids until we adopt next year can't comment and wouldn't feel comfy commenting on other forum members relationship with his ex or kids. Not my place so kept it related to the thread title