The same person on and off the golf course?

AmandaJR

AmandaJR

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So here's something I'm really struggling with. I'm naturally quite out-going and gregarious and enjoy meeting new people and chit chatting. I'd sum it up by saying I'm a friendly person and this is the case whether I'm playing golf or not (apart from a secret trolley wheel kick when I'm really stuffing up)! Recently though I've played some higher level competitions to those I've experienced before and it seems the general attitude is to walk round in all but stony silence. Occasionally the barriers are briefly dropped only for them to be quickly raised again and usually very rudely...

It's making me re-evaluate the type and level of golf I want to play as quite simply I don't enjoy it. This past week it was our invitational and played in teams of 4 so I had 3 guests. There was a competitive element but also a load of chat, laughs and good natured banter. I loved it - every minute of it and that included the holes I managed to stuff up and the fact I was the only one not to get a birdie in the team :o We actually won to our surprise and further banter about who had to give the winner's speech!

So perhaps I expect too much from fellow competitors and/or opponents and the re-evaluation has to be I keep away from such competitions?? Or make sure I have a caddy...
 
Hi Amanda.
I play off 28 and last week I was drawn with a 6 handicapper to play against two guys from a visiting club.
What I noticed was his intensity of concentration throughout the game.
We had our moments when we managed a chat and a laugh but generally I realised he needed not to be distracted and I respected that.
After the game we had a drink and a meal with the other pair and he's a thoroughly nice guy.
Today, in a medal comp all three of us (different players) were sociable all the way around especially after it was clear we were not going to be in contention.
 
Dont get it myself. Yes there is a need to concentrate for 20-30 seconds before hitting a shot but other than that lighten up, its still only a hobby and fun game. Cant think of anything worse than playing someone who keeps themselves to themself all the way round, just dont understand it and most likely they are putting too much pressure on themselves to succeed and would actually play better if they lightened up a bit. Have played in many pro ams, scratch amateur comps etc and never really had too much of an issue with it, i do get the feeling it may be worse in the womens game than the mens
 
I think people are different. I'm possibly more chatty on the course than off it..... but usually I'm better if the chat is mostly golf-related! ;)

I play in our scratch team and have never had the stony silence (although we're in div 2 and I'm told some of the div 1 players can be a bit less friendly). However I've also played a fair few "higher level" comps including with some of those players and always enjoyed decent company.

That said, sometimes you do need to focus a bit more and the chat can become a bit more intermittent. Maybe I'm lucky in that I seem to be able to handle each quite happily....

I don't think you should avoid such comps; I'm sure you'll come up against plenty who are more friendly.
 
fundy said:
Dont get it myself. Yes there is a need to concentrate for 20-30 seconds before hitting a shot but other than that lighten up, its still only a hobby and fun game. Cant think of anything worse than playing someone who keeps themselves to themself all the way round, just dont understand it and most likely they are putting too much pressure on themselves to succeed and would actually play better if they lightened up a bit. Have played in many pro ams, scratch amateur comps etc and never really had too much of an issue with it, i do get the feeling it may be worse in the womens game than the mens
Click to expand...

I agree wholeheartedly!

Doon frae Troon said:
Tiger and GMac having a wee chat whilst playing recently makes all those 'strong silent types' look a bit daft.
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Yep. The pros can chat coming down the stretch and yet, tbh, less than sparkling, club-level, amateur golf and we have to keep our distance and basically be quite rude (imo)

Sid Rixon IV said:
I should have added, in fairness to my partner, that, in between shots, we mostly went in different directions :(
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:-)

FairwayDodger said:
I think people are different. I'm possibly more chatty on the course than off it..... but usually I'm better if the chat is mostly golf-related! ;)

I play in our scratch team and have never had the stony silence (although we're in div 2 and I'm told some of the div 1 players can be a bit less friendly). However I've also played a fair few "higher level" comps including with some of those players and always enjoyed decent company.

That said, sometimes you do need to focus a bit more and the chat can become a bit more intermittent. Maybe I'm lucky in that I seem to be able to handle each quite happily....

I don't think you should avoid such comps; I'm sure you'll come up against plenty who are more friendly.
Click to expand...

This week was a scratch match and I struggled with it and always will I think. As out-going as I am I'm also over sensitive so when downright blanked find it difficult to not get somewhat upset and just can't enjoy the game. I know when it's time to keep quiet and let others and myself focus but for me it's also a social element and I find the atmosphere "challenging"!

Perhaps it's something I'll get used to but it has made me consider why I play and what I want to get from the game. First and foremost that's enjoyment which is of course dictated by different elements such as playing well and achieving goals as I am quite a driven person BUT not to the extent that some of these women seem to be.
 
I'm 63, in my third season and finally managing to get into the (high) 90's so I'm never going to be a "contender".
But I'm determined to improve, give a good account of myself AND enjoy it.
I enter the comps but love the casual "turnouts" on set days where we see who shows, play in 3's or 4's, enjoy the banter, play very competitively (and supportively) for a quid and have a drink afterward.
 
Sid Rixon IV said:
I'm 63, in my third season and finally managing to get into the (high) 90's so I'm never going to be a "contender".
But I'm determined to improve, give a good account of myself AND enjoy it.
I enter the comps but love the casual "turnouts" on set days where we see who shows, play in 3's or 4's, enjoy the banter, play very competitively (and supportively) for a quid and have a drink afterward.
Click to expand...

Sounds the right balance to me. This is my 5th year of golf and have come down handicap-wise a lot in that time so this is my first season in a members club with lots of serious competition, especially representing the club. I've been surprised at the attitude of fellow competitors and opponents who seem to have lost sight of that, but perhaps they think they're better and more important than they actually are! When I was a runner I won races and was a decent club/county standard but NEVER lost sight of the fact that in the big scheme of things I was no better than mediocre and could run 1m before collapsing at the pace the elite athletes ran 26.2 of them! All about perspective...oh and manners!
 
I like to chat as well, and can't be bothered with people that take it so seriously that they are in their 'own bubble' I invite people to play with me that I like as personalities rather than how good they are. Not many that I have played with on the forum I wouldn't want to play with again, but there are some.:eek:

The only exception to the rule is Smiffy, as I only play with him for the quality of his golf.:whistle:
 
I do wonder it it's really just part of the women's game as I have played for 20 years with loads of different golfers and never felt that it was silent. I have heard at various clubs some of the women's medals can be played like that. I always break the ice straight away walking down the 1st fairway sussing out the character I am playing with to see if he/she has a sense of humour to get how it's going to go as you are with them for the next 4hrs.
 
gazrow said:
I think if I couldn't relax and have an enjoyable round with the people I'm playing with, I wouldn't bother playing.
Click to expand...

I do think you have to differentiate between different sorts of rounds. If you're playing a scratch match in, say, the final of your club championship there is going to be a competitive edge to it. Rightly so!
 
I don't think people change dramatically on the course (apart from maybe tantrums). Chatty people tend to be chatty and sullen moody people stay sullen and moody. In competitions I don't really care what type of person I play with, if someone wants to stay quiet and concentrate on their game then I'll let them do so.

But I'd much rather keep it light-hearted though :D
 
Well I'm glad I'm not the oddball in expecting a bit more than stony silence over 18 holes :thup:

Smiffy - not me as I bought one a couple of months back and love it. Even treated it to a new grip today!
 
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