Talkative playing partners/fellow competitors...

AmandaJR

AmandaJR

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A bit of history. MY first ever 4BBB (Ping Ladies Comp) I was out with and against one of those ultra sensitive players for whom I was always standing in the wrong place, leaving the flag in the wrong place etc etc. It was so ott and precious I swore never ever to be one of those players.

Generally I'm pretty good at not being distracted by noise around me but played today in a 4BBB (oddly enough the Ping comp again) and the chatter was constant. Being the longest hitter I was always last to go and it felt that every time I was over my shot they'd just carry on talking albeit reducing it to a very loud whisper. This was as often my partner as the other pairing. By the 13th I was ultra sensitive to it and backed off my shot twice to let them finish or hope they'd get the hint and shut up. On the 14th it continued on and again I backed off the shot twice and then the third time gave them my hardest Paddington Bear stare. As I took my backswing I again heard loud whispered chit chat and hit an ok shot but a bit thin and generally really cheesed off with it. I always remind myself not to be that precious player moaning about any minor distraction and/or blaming said distraction for a poor execution so tend to say nothing but fume inside instead.

On this occasion my playing partner noticed what was going on and suggested they were quiet when I was taking my shot. One player apologised profusely but the other said she had been put off earlier on the hole by my partner...suggesting what...she was doing it deliberately as retaliation??! I said to her "two wrongs don't make a right" and things went quiet with a certain hint of hostility in the air!

So. How would you handle it? Should I just politely ask the first time that they stop chatting when I'm taking my shot? I guess that sounds obvious and of course the right course of action but we're talking women here :mmm:
 
AmandaJR said:
A bit of history. MY first ever 4BBB (Ping Ladies Comp) I was out with and against one of those ultra sensitive players for whom I was always standing in the wrong place, leaving the flag in the wrong place etc etc. It was so ott and precious I swore never ever to be one of those players.

Generally I'm pretty good at not being distracted by noise around me but played today in a 4BBB (oddly enough the Ping comp again) and the chatter was constant. Being the longest hitter I was always last to go and it felt that every time I was over my shot they'd just carry on talking albeit reducing it to a very loud whisper. This was as often my partner as the other pairing. By the 13th I was ultra sensitive to it and backed off my shot twice to let them finish or hope they'd get the hint and shut up. On the 14th it continued on and again I backed off the shot twice and then the third time gave them my hardest Paddington Bear stare. As I took my backswing I again heard loud whispered chit chat and hit an ok shot but a bit thin and generally really cheesed off with it. I always remind myself not to be that precious player moaning about any minor distraction and/or blaming said distraction for a poor execution so tend to say nothing but fume inside instead.

On this occasion my playing partner noticed what was going on and suggested they were quiet when I was taking my shot. One player apologised profusely but the other said she had been put off earlier on the hole by my partner...suggesting what...she was doing it deliberately as retaliation??! I said to her "two wrongs don't make a right" and things went quiet with a certain hint of hostility in the air!

So. How would you handle it? Should I just politely ask the first time that they stop chatting when I'm taking my shot? I guess that sounds obvious and of course the right course of action but we're talking women here :mmm:
Click to expand...

Women or not its the right approach, youre fighting a losing battle as soon as you let it go once if it is going to bother you.

The alternative is to get to the point where it doesnt bother you when other people are talking when you're playing
 
fundy said:
Women or not its the right approach, youre fighting a losing battle as soon as you let it go once if it is going to bother you.

The alternative is to get to the point where it doesnt bother you when other people are talking when you're playing
Click to expand...

Fair point and I should have said something once it bothered me as I was stewing on it after that and each time hit a poor shot. I never used to be bothered as at Wyboston there were always hackers tearing around in buggies shouting to their mates and I never batted an eyelid. I do wonder if I've become too sensitive now and need to work out a way to block it out.
 
I occasionally play with a couple of women who are good friends, very pleasant, but they do whisper when I am over the ball, and it really annoys me. It's not like I spend ages on a PSR, I don't usually take practice swings either.
I tend to back off, stare and it works...for a hole or two
I can talk the hind leg off a donkey, but can normally keep it zipped while someone hits the ball.

It's not just women. I play a lot of mixed golf, and walk forward to the ladies tee as soon as they have hit.
My set up is usually accompanied by the crunch of trolley wheels on gravel and discussion of yesterday's cricket...
 
AmandaJR said:
Fair point and I should have said something once it bothered me as I was stewing on it after that and each time hit a poor shot. I never used to be bothered as at Wyboston there were always hackers tearing around in buggies shouting to their mates and I never batted an eyelid. I do wonder if I've become too sensitive now and need to work out a way to block it out.
Click to expand...

I find the nearby whisper worse than the distant yell !
 
North Mimms said:
I occasionally play with a couple of women who are good friends, very pleasant, but they do whisper when I am over the ball, and it really annoys me. It's not like I spend ages on a PSR, I don't usually take practice swings either.
I tend to back off, stare and it works...for a hole or two
I can talk the hind leg off a donkey, but can normally keep it zipped while someone hits the ball.

It's not just women. I play a lot of mixed golf, and walk forward to the ladies tee as soon as they have hit.
My set up is usually accompanied by the crunch of trolley wheels on gravel and discussion of yesterday's cricket...
Click to expand...

Sounds very like me and hear what you say about mixed golf and the clunk of clubs and trollies as you get to play! I too talk for the country but know when to shut up and often have to gesture to my partner to do the same. It's not so much that women chatter too much rather than their reaction to being asked not to...!
 
Last time I was faced with a situation like that I ended up asking the culprits if me playing my shot would interrupt their conversation, they got the message :D
 
Introduce the culprits to the forum and let them read the replies, sorted!

Seriously though, it's very rude and I think it's always better to be direct but tactful and say that it is great to play with a great bunch of affable ladies but that you would really appreciate it if they could continue their conversations until after everyone has teed off so that the good humour and banter doesn't become muted by someones bad manners.
 
London mike 61 said:
Introduce the culprits to the forum and let them read the replies, sorted!

Seriously though, it's very rude and I think it's always better to be direct but tactful and say that it is great to play with a great bunch of affable ladies but that you would really appreciate it if they could continue their conversations until after everyone has teed off so that the good humour and banter doesn't become muted by someones bad manners.
Click to expand...

HawkeyeMS said:
Last time I was faced with a situation like that I ended up asking the culprits if me playing my shot would interrupt their conversation, they got the message :D
Click to expand...

Great responses - sometimes I wish I was a guy as life seems much less complicated in your world. Say it as it is and move on...what a delightful thought!
 
I'm with you on this Amanda, really winds me up.

Two of my regular PP are terrible at it too, especially if i'm last to tee off they will stand behind me discussing their tee shots and whet went right / wrong while i'm teeing off. They have also been known to start taking practice swings as i'm over the ball:rant:
 
it doesn't really bother me as one of my mates talks all the way though you playing a shot... the only thing that does is some yank yelling 3 holes away Wooohoo Booobby!
 
"excuse me ladies, just let me know when you're at the end of a chapter and I'll play my shot"


they've never asked me to play again........




alternative is to pull down their skirt from behind and then play your shot..............:mmm:
 
AmandaJR said:
Keep 'em coming - pull their skort (not skirt :smirk:) down and/or a slap is sounding the best option :eek:
Click to expand...


Used to play with an otherwise great bloke who just could not stop rabbiting away.

Finally I said to him " Les it is not your talking that bothers me, it's when you stop. I never know when you are going to start again!".
 
It seems that when all the women play on s Saturday, there is a lot of chat. I don't know if that extends to when the shots are played but if it did and I was in your shoes I wouldn't be thrilled. I wouldn't have been as patient and diplomatic
 
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