Speed crochet championships

Hobbit

Hobbit

Mordorator
Moderator
Joined
Sep 11, 2011
Messages
20,815
Location
Espana
Visit site
In light of Rooter's request for greater diversity I think it's only fair that we discuss the upcoming world speed crochet championships.

Rumour has it that the the current world champion may be stripped of their crown due to a failed drugs test for the banned substance, Horlicks.

Our mixed pairs team is in disarray due to a case of severely cracked nail varnish, and the ladies coxless 4's have fallen out over the lack of toasted tea cakes.

Two members of the German team were seen riding unaccompanied on an escalator, whilst there are concerns over the diameter of the Japanese team's needles.

Lottery funding has been withdrawn from the British team following a News of the World expose relating sponsorship from Tena.

More news to follow at 10...
 
Any news on the latest bookies prices? How many places are they paying down to each way? Might be some better value to be had here rather than betting on the Masters :)
 
Why speed Crochet though? whether it takes 3 hours or 5 to make a blanket shouldn't matter as long as they are having fun!
 
It should take no longer than 3h 15m including tea/horlicks breaks to finish a blanket but the pros are now taking 5h. Speed crochet is an attempt to get it back to an enjoyable morning in.
 
I read something on Sunday about American crochet star Ethel Thompson, one of the worlds best, who was docked 4 teacakes when a tv viewer called in and reported that they had seen her drop a stitch on Saturday. completely ruined her chances as she was informed halfway through her Sunday session.
 
Am sorry but as soon as speed crochet became a professional sport with sponsorship from Horlicks and warburtons teacakes. I have stopped going and cancelled my season ticket.
fortunately I was able to fall back in love with my first love, extreme ironing. Speed crochet is so last year. You cannot beat the tension of a British Tefal steam iron going nose to nose with a German Bosch schfinkthousen schnofulpump.

Cmon Tefal
 
BREAKING NEWS! ------------- ----------------------

Elspeth Norbington-Picket the great Eastbourne hope of bringing home the Tetley Darjeeling Jug had to pull out due to falling down the stairs and fracturing her index finger. She walked onto the stage and tried a few double loopers but her personal trainer insisted she did not compete and should not risk further injury. At a later press conference she could only say she 'Was Totally Gutted' and hoped she had not let her fellow loyal followers.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top