JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
Took a trip from Gatwick up to Sheffield this evening (201 miles), took 4hrs to get there no thanks to the M25 being practically a car park from the M23 right up to Heathrow, arrived at 10pm. Couple of cuppas and a chat later I left at 11.45pm.
Now, I'm not a boy racer even though I expect the car I'm driving can probably do 145mph, the speed doesn't really interest me, so I'm pottering down the M1 at a steady 80-85mph, it's gone midnight and there's hardly any cars on the road. In the last 10 minutes I've probably gone past a dozen cars or so and 5 or 6 have gone past me. Just like most men I'd consider myself a pretty good driver... typically above average, but then I mean that as my observation is excellent as well as my ability to anticipate.
So there I am approx 85 mph in the 2nd lane of 4. Nothing has gone past me for a while and there's a couple of cars in my rear view mirror. Ahead there's a lorry in the 1st lane with a car behind it, any second now it's going to pull out into my lane... I move into the 3rd lane and he literally pulls out straight away, no big deal. Ahead on the gantry maybe 300yds away (a solid 7-iron for me LOL) there's a speed restriction, it looks like it says 60, and we're 3 abreast on the road, I look ahead and the road is clear for miles, not a rear tail light (or car reflector) in sight.... I read the words on the sign, I have maybe 200yds at this stage and it says "Queue's Ahead", I look back at the road, nothing, nada, zilch then up to the road sign which says 50... not 60!!, nothing ahead but I lift off the accelerator anyway with 100yds to go thinking "What the hell?"... I don't hit the brakes like an idiot as I just went alongside a car and we're 3 abreast as we go under the gantry... totally empty road...
Fireworks!! Speed camera lights go off like broadway! Couple of flashes one of us is going to be famous... I wonder who was likely going the fastest? hmmmmmm....
I'd lifted off the gas and I'm guessing maybe slowed to 83mph as the camera flashed.... not exactly fast seeing that 'Mr BMW AUDI OWNER' normally screams down the motorway at at least 95mph most nights (and days!!!), if not more!!!
So all three of us slow somewhat as there's ANOTHER gantry just ahead 600yds, "Queues Ahead...... 40".... ok so we're now doing 40mph at 20 past 12 at night on a pretty much empty motorway... no traffic and definitely no queues, hang on what's this? The next sign I can see it already..... END ie: (National Speed limit)
Hang on, where's the queues? how come we were slowed to 50mph on an empty motorway, then 40 only to speed up again? If there WERE queues how come we weren't told to slow down to 60mph on the gantry previous?? or even a 'caution slow down ahead' or something like that??... oh no, straight down to 50 then speed camera fireworks 100ft past the gantry. Just a joke.
The story continues.... so I think I may have been popped by a speed camera, I'm not pleased about it.... if the limit was 50 then how come we all didn't get popped? is it 60 when it says 50? Is it 70 when it says 50? I mean you can't just slow down even from 70 to 50 in 100ft..... can you?
So there I am annoyed then up ahead there's another sign... workmen in road, 50mph..... and there's those chevrons in the road that say "Keep 2 chevrons apart", no problem, I move to the left lane, 50mph..... 3 lanes open, no workmen in the road for the ENTIRE 3 MILE STRETCH, me in the left lane..... lorry 4ft from my rear bumper!!!! I could feel the guys genitals pressing on the back of my neck he was that close!!!! Loads of cars bombing past doing anywhere from 60-70mph across the 2 lanes to my right.... me? I'm spending more time looking in the rear view mirror than out the windscreeen. Finally after a mile or so of this guy sniffing my exhaust we come to an 'end' sign and it's back to cruising....
And then there's another sign... "workmen in the road 50mph, lanes closed" no problem, it wasn't like the gantry sign, it was on the side of the road and cars were slowing down...eventually as they approached the cones.... not at the 1st 2nd or 3rd sign saying 50... oh no, they were still flying past me into the cones. Down to a single lane... no worries, I was 200yds behind a lorry and that gap was remaining consistent, he wasn't racing away from me and i wasn't catching him up. The lorry now behind me was gracious to give me 30ft, it wasn't the same idiot as before... no worries.... 1 lane, 50mph.... it passed after a couple of miles and back to normal flow again... but not for long...
"Workmen in road" AGAIN for God sake! 40 mph limit... this time with 2 lanes open!!!!!! We just had 50 with only 1 lane but now it's 40 with 2..... so there's me snailing along in the left of the two lanes at 40mph.... everyone else must have been going 60 at least.... they were like bullets! 5 miles of this!!!!! 2 lanes 40mph speed limit and not one camera flashing at anyone who was racing past me. I was just a little bit annoyed by this stage (Which is why I'm here at 3.30 am after having just gotten back, writing this flipping stuff!)..... anyway.....
I finally was approaching the end of the M1, probably 2am or so by now and there was the sign for the M25 the lorry to my left was exiting and so was I both doing about 65 as I edged past him... I could see a speed limit on the gantry right at the junction... 50mph...... hang on.... the speed limit for the exit lanes we just moved into was showing 30mph!!!!!! 200ft from the gantry facing another speed camera, I've just moved in front of a lorry and now i'm going to have to peel 35mph off my speed in 200ft for god sake!!! I mean HOW DANGEROUS CAN THIS GET!!!!!!!!
I move to the left and brake.... not the hardest as the guy would probably run straight over the puny little MR2 I'm was driving..... he absolutely flies past like a bat out of hell...... I can hear his horn for the next 800yds.... no speed camera flash for him though..... typical.... 30mph speed limit, a ONE MILE LONG slip road at past 2am and it has 30mph on the gantry over the top of it... does NO ONE EVER SWITCH THESE THING OFF!!!!!!!
I'm on the M25.... it's dead.... there's one section where it's 50mph, 2 lanes open and it's just a cruise as it's now nearly 3am and there's only about 5 cars in sight, no one is bombing along.... it passes by..... and YAY! at last off onto the M23... nearly home....
Ooh...... lane closure.... 60mph.... ok, fair enough, if a lane is closed... so I'm at 60.... 400yrds later.... "Mobile workforce in road... 40mph".... fair enough.... can't see any though..... now where's this closed lane?.... 4 more signs that said "40 mph of the gantry signs, workforce in road"... not a sausage... it's 3.15 and i'm crawling down an empty motorway at 40mph, no workers and no lane closed..... 5 cars come past me like Rocket propelled grenades! in the SIX MILES that I was crawling along at 40mph..... then an END sign!!! ARRRRGHHHHH!!!!! As I'm sitting here now i'm reflecting whether or not I should have put my hazard lights on because any misjudgement from those 5 cars and i'd have been crushed like a grape!
What a joke... what an absolute joke.... pinged within 100ft of a sign that shouldn't have even been on for a queue that never existed (there were no cars on the road), faster speeds for single lane traffic than double lane traffic, speed limits that put a lorry up your tailpipe at 2am and workers and lane closures that don't even exist.... WHY CAN'T SOMEONE TURN THESE THINGS OFF AT NIGHT??? or at the very least WARN in advance properly... or set reasonable speed so you're not crawling at 40mph at 3am when there's 3 lanes open and no one working on the flippin' road!!!!!!!!!!!
OK... I needed to write that down so I can recall the events in detail, so when the speeding fine lands on my doorstep i'm going to tell them where they can stick it - this is my record of events.... sorry if it was a boring read but I've just been driving for 3 1/2 hrs to get back home again!!!
I mean this is for a journey at midnight to 3am!!!!! Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz!
Now, I'm not a boy racer even though I expect the car I'm driving can probably do 145mph, the speed doesn't really interest me, so I'm pottering down the M1 at a steady 80-85mph, it's gone midnight and there's hardly any cars on the road. In the last 10 minutes I've probably gone past a dozen cars or so and 5 or 6 have gone past me. Just like most men I'd consider myself a pretty good driver... typically above average, but then I mean that as my observation is excellent as well as my ability to anticipate.
So there I am approx 85 mph in the 2nd lane of 4. Nothing has gone past me for a while and there's a couple of cars in my rear view mirror. Ahead there's a lorry in the 1st lane with a car behind it, any second now it's going to pull out into my lane... I move into the 3rd lane and he literally pulls out straight away, no big deal. Ahead on the gantry maybe 300yds away (a solid 7-iron for me LOL) there's a speed restriction, it looks like it says 60, and we're 3 abreast on the road, I look ahead and the road is clear for miles, not a rear tail light (or car reflector) in sight.... I read the words on the sign, I have maybe 200yds at this stage and it says "Queue's Ahead", I look back at the road, nothing, nada, zilch then up to the road sign which says 50... not 60!!, nothing ahead but I lift off the accelerator anyway with 100yds to go thinking "What the hell?"... I don't hit the brakes like an idiot as I just went alongside a car and we're 3 abreast as we go under the gantry... totally empty road...
Fireworks!! Speed camera lights go off like broadway! Couple of flashes one of us is going to be famous... I wonder who was likely going the fastest? hmmmmmm....
I'd lifted off the gas and I'm guessing maybe slowed to 83mph as the camera flashed.... not exactly fast seeing that 'Mr BMW AUDI OWNER' normally screams down the motorway at at least 95mph most nights (and days!!!), if not more!!!
So all three of us slow somewhat as there's ANOTHER gantry just ahead 600yds, "Queues Ahead...... 40".... ok so we're now doing 40mph at 20 past 12 at night on a pretty much empty motorway... no traffic and definitely no queues, hang on what's this? The next sign I can see it already..... END ie: (National Speed limit)
Hang on, where's the queues? how come we were slowed to 50mph on an empty motorway, then 40 only to speed up again? If there WERE queues how come we weren't told to slow down to 60mph on the gantry previous?? or even a 'caution slow down ahead' or something like that??... oh no, straight down to 50 then speed camera fireworks 100ft past the gantry. Just a joke.
The story continues.... so I think I may have been popped by a speed camera, I'm not pleased about it.... if the limit was 50 then how come we all didn't get popped? is it 60 when it says 50? Is it 70 when it says 50? I mean you can't just slow down even from 70 to 50 in 100ft..... can you?
So there I am annoyed then up ahead there's another sign... workmen in road, 50mph..... and there's those chevrons in the road that say "Keep 2 chevrons apart", no problem, I move to the left lane, 50mph..... 3 lanes open, no workmen in the road for the ENTIRE 3 MILE STRETCH, me in the left lane..... lorry 4ft from my rear bumper!!!! I could feel the guys genitals pressing on the back of my neck he was that close!!!! Loads of cars bombing past doing anywhere from 60-70mph across the 2 lanes to my right.... me? I'm spending more time looking in the rear view mirror than out the windscreeen. Finally after a mile or so of this guy sniffing my exhaust we come to an 'end' sign and it's back to cruising....
And then there's another sign... "workmen in the road 50mph, lanes closed" no problem, it wasn't like the gantry sign, it was on the side of the road and cars were slowing down...eventually as they approached the cones.... not at the 1st 2nd or 3rd sign saying 50... oh no, they were still flying past me into the cones. Down to a single lane... no worries, I was 200yds behind a lorry and that gap was remaining consistent, he wasn't racing away from me and i wasn't catching him up. The lorry now behind me was gracious to give me 30ft, it wasn't the same idiot as before... no worries.... 1 lane, 50mph.... it passed after a couple of miles and back to normal flow again... but not for long...
"Workmen in road" AGAIN for God sake! 40 mph limit... this time with 2 lanes open!!!!!! We just had 50 with only 1 lane but now it's 40 with 2..... so there's me snailing along in the left of the two lanes at 40mph.... everyone else must have been going 60 at least.... they were like bullets! 5 miles of this!!!!! 2 lanes 40mph speed limit and not one camera flashing at anyone who was racing past me. I was just a little bit annoyed by this stage (Which is why I'm here at 3.30 am after having just gotten back, writing this flipping stuff!)..... anyway.....
I finally was approaching the end of the M1, probably 2am or so by now and there was the sign for the M25 the lorry to my left was exiting and so was I both doing about 65 as I edged past him... I could see a speed limit on the gantry right at the junction... 50mph...... hang on.... the speed limit for the exit lanes we just moved into was showing 30mph!!!!!! 200ft from the gantry facing another speed camera, I've just moved in front of a lorry and now i'm going to have to peel 35mph off my speed in 200ft for god sake!!! I mean HOW DANGEROUS CAN THIS GET!!!!!!!!
I move to the left and brake.... not the hardest as the guy would probably run straight over the puny little MR2 I'm was driving..... he absolutely flies past like a bat out of hell...... I can hear his horn for the next 800yds.... no speed camera flash for him though..... typical.... 30mph speed limit, a ONE MILE LONG slip road at past 2am and it has 30mph on the gantry over the top of it... does NO ONE EVER SWITCH THESE THING OFF!!!!!!!
I'm on the M25.... it's dead.... there's one section where it's 50mph, 2 lanes open and it's just a cruise as it's now nearly 3am and there's only about 5 cars in sight, no one is bombing along.... it passes by..... and YAY! at last off onto the M23... nearly home....
Ooh...... lane closure.... 60mph.... ok, fair enough, if a lane is closed... so I'm at 60.... 400yrds later.... "Mobile workforce in road... 40mph".... fair enough.... can't see any though..... now where's this closed lane?.... 4 more signs that said "40 mph of the gantry signs, workforce in road"... not a sausage... it's 3.15 and i'm crawling down an empty motorway at 40mph, no workers and no lane closed..... 5 cars come past me like Rocket propelled grenades! in the SIX MILES that I was crawling along at 40mph..... then an END sign!!! ARRRRGHHHHH!!!!! As I'm sitting here now i'm reflecting whether or not I should have put my hazard lights on because any misjudgement from those 5 cars and i'd have been crushed like a grape!
What a joke... what an absolute joke.... pinged within 100ft of a sign that shouldn't have even been on for a queue that never existed (there were no cars on the road), faster speeds for single lane traffic than double lane traffic, speed limits that put a lorry up your tailpipe at 2am and workers and lane closures that don't even exist.... WHY CAN'T SOMEONE TURN THESE THINGS OFF AT NIGHT??? or at the very least WARN in advance properly... or set reasonable speed so you're not crawling at 40mph at 3am when there's 3 lanes open and no one working on the flippin' road!!!!!!!!!!!
OK... I needed to write that down so I can recall the events in detail, so when the speeding fine lands on my doorstep i'm going to tell them where they can stick it - this is my record of events.... sorry if it was a boring read but I've just been driving for 3 1/2 hrs to get back home again!!!
I mean this is for a journey at midnight to 3am!!!!! Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz!
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