Return to old club

[bladeplayer]

I moved on to a different club this year . For to a few reasons, plan was to take a year out and rejoin next year . Joined a club about 30 minutes further away.
I stll have alota friends in old club and have been back a few times for opens ,
I find the attitude of some members and i particular the captain very off , captain has not spoken any time ive met him (know him thru work long before he was captain)
I am seriously considering not bothering going back next year now.
Why do some people take golf club life so personaly .
Anyone else experience something similar . What did u do ?
Thanks in advance

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I moved on to a different club this year . For to a few reasons, plan was to take a year out and rejoin next year . Joined a club about 30 minutes further away.
I stll have alota friends in old club and have been back a few times for opens ,
I find the attitude of some members and i particular the captain very off , captain has not spoken any time ive met him (know him thru work long before he was captain)
I am seriously considering not bothering going back next year now.
Why do some people take golf club life so personaly .
Anyone else experience something similar . What did u do ?
Thanks in advance

Depends on whether you think the attitude will change once they have your money again. If not I'd stay away, especially if where you are now is a decent course and you enjoy spending time there

 

[IanM]

I play at a club for the following (in rough order)
Course quality and condition, folk I play with, speed of play and ease of getting on.

Nowhere on the list is “does the captain talk to me?”

They’ve got the hump cos you moved, so expect some daft comments if you return. (Some of which will be meant in fun, others not!)

Depends on whether that bothers you or not.

 

[clubchamp98]

Been back to my old club several times and always made very welcome.
Is it just this one guy if so don’t let him put you off.
So he’s Captain ! He won’t be next year.

 

[bladeplayer]

Thanks for replys . No its been a few . Some committee some ordinary members . Some i would have played a good bit with ..
Maybe its just me as im not that way .
Im not realy the sensitive sort to b honest im a bit .. disapointed is mayb the word ..

 

[Hobbit]

Why do you have to wait for him to talk to you? Why not just say, “hi, how ya doing.” Maybe he doesn’t know why you left, and is uncomfortable with talking about it.

When I revisit my old club I get a great welcome from old friends, and some that were just acquaintances don’t talk. I’m not bothered by it as, in truth, I didn’t really talk to them much when I was a member.

Maybe you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Are you taking golf club life too seriously?

 

[Jamesbrown]

One club I’ve been a member at is very welcoming, pro always happy to see me. I was his best customer.

Other club, not so welcoming. So not returned, and I’m in no hurry either. Couple of the lads i played with we had been playing together at two clubs. Now barely speak. Either they thought I was a twunt, or pee’d off I coughed up for a better club that might be out of their reach due to commitments.

I lose no sleep, made many new golf friends.

 

[bladeplayer]

No i dont think so but ya never know. . Ive spoken to him twice once by name in car park accepted maybe he miles away in his head or thinking of something and didnt hear me . After the round he was in a group of 4 at the bar . 2 spoke and shook hands other 2 didnt .
Im pretty easy going by nature and because of lack if practice time etc i dont take golf too serious at momet..
I havent changed in any way personaly so dont understand why others can be off just over changing clubs .
Maybe u are right tho maybe it is me

 

[duncan mackie]

Probably a combination.

You are subconsciously expecting a particular reaction - they are sensing that you aren't the same person you were (to a degree your post suggests that you see it this way!).

We generally read the worst into reactions that we don't inherently understand (aren't used to) - try smiling at people you don't know to see this in action; you will see most people cycle quickly through at least 3 responses via their eyes and facial expressions.

I suspect that there's also an element of you trying to establish if things would be back where they were when you were previously a member, if you return. They won't. They will be different but that doesn't mean they will be bad.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

There is a risk that you might be looking for evidence to support what you think might be how others think of your return to the fold - and so you may be being overly sensitive to the nature and amount (or lack of) communications/chat.

And remember - you can't force change of attitude on people. All you can do is, by your own actions and behavior, demonstrate that you are pleased to be back and that any resentments others might hold around you leaving are not reciprocated by worries you might have in returning. You are delighted to be back and you will just get on with being a member - if needs must as if a new member - getting to know new friends and enjoying your golf and the club.

And if others do not recognise that then that is their problem not yours.

 

[bladeplayer]

Many thanks for the replys guys . I wasnt gons post anything until the threads re captain appeared..

Happy golfing ☺

 

[Robster59]

It may be a combination of things as has been said. Maybe you feel a little self-conscious about going to your old club and so are perhaps expecting a reaction. It may be some people feel disgruntled that you've left. It could be many things.
I know when members were leaving the club during my tenure, I tried to speak to them about it, find out the reason why, wish them luc and say they'd always be welcome back. It's their money at the end of the day and for some of them it's a difficult decision to make.
Some people leave because they believe the grass is greener on the other side, find it isn't and then come back. If that happens, it's best to make sure they don't feel uncomfortable about it.
I may be secretly disappointed that they've left but I'd never show it and still try to be polite.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

It may be a combination of things as has been said. Maybe you feel a little self-conscious about going to your old club and so are perhaps expecting a reaction. It may be some people feel disgruntled that you've left. It could be many things.
I know when members were leaving the club during my tenure, I tried to speak to them about it, find out the reason why, wish them luc and say they'd always be welcome back. It's their money at the end of the day and for some of them it's a difficult decision to make.
Some people leave because they believe the grass is greener on the other side, find it isn't and then come back. If that happens, it's best to make sure they don't feel uncomfortable about it.
I may be secretly disappointed that they've left but I'd never show it and still try to be polite.

The addict that leaves a fellowship because he thinks he can manage it himself - but finds that he can't - is welcomed back to the fold with open arms and is subject to no criticism - the fellowship is glad he is back.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

To me it is like losing a customer at work. I make sure that I wave them off with a smile so that they feel they can come back at any time and not feel embarrassed. Unfortunately golf clubs, and other clubs, often don't have that mentality and individuals can take it personally. As they used to say in The Godfather, it's not personal, it's just business. I left a club nearby after two years for a couple of reasons but it was done without rancour from me. Most were fine but one committee guy in particular took it badly, very odd too, and blanked me when I saw him in town. He is now the captain funnily enough. I am still positive about the club if anyone outside the area asks my advice about it but I would not go back whilst this person is still involved. I don't need that sort of attitude for my hobby.