Poor etiquette OR opponent over reacting

Blue in Munich

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For me it is poor etiquette, or it would be in an official match. Opponent would have known their putt was for a half.
Best to say nothing and allow oppo to play without added pressure.
This; I can't imagine that I won't know what the putt is for, but if I want clarification I'll ask.
 

Tashyboy

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Never mind what happened. did you win.😁 how was the end of game handshake. 😂

I have played against some lads who are experts In gamesmanship. They embarrass themselves. Would I have said anything. I Cannot really say. Is it an over reaction. Deffo. Do you, we, him learn from it. I hope so. Would I beat myself up. No. Every days a skool day.
 

BrianM

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Why did you feel the need to say something in the first place?
Although you meant no harm in what you said, my personal opinion is just keep it to yourself, I’m sure he knew already what he was putting for….
 

williamalex1

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Played 4 ball Match Play today, quite regular partners who hve known each other around 15 years. We were 1 up by the 4th, friendly match, partner has a par and opponent had a putt 3/4 foot for 1/2. All I said was this for a 1/2. No malice or gamesmanship intended. The guy went berserk. yes I know. He then missed the putt and exploded . i apologised offered him 1/2 which he refused. On the 6th I apologised again and shook his hand but he could not look me in the eye!

Was I out of order or was the other guy a tad sensitive. It became worse for him as we were 6 up t the turn. There was very little money involve din the match
The guy wouldn't last too long playing with me and my mates in bounce games :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:.
 

Billysboots

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I think it’s a bit of both. I’m quite sure the fella knew what he was putting for, and didn’t need to be told, but equally his reaction sounds very OTT. If he was that annoyed he merely needed to have a word on the way to the next tee and maybe ask you not to do it again.
 

HeftyHacker

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I played in a 4bbb today and there was a flash point with another group that I wouldn't mind peoples perspective on.

One of the other lads in our fourball hit a shot today and sliced it right on to the parallel fairway towards the group playing up it. He called a fairly loud fore and also held his club outstretched in his right hand indicating where it was headed.

2 of the lads in the group ducked but the other two were walking, heads down and apparently in conversation. The ball hits one of their trollies as they're walking.

The affected player then grabs the ball, and throws it towards a gorse bush. When it falls short he marches over and picks it up and throws it right into the middle of it. Making sure it was irrecoverable.

He then marches up towards the guy who had hit it and starts screaming at him about calling fore. Our player told him he had shouted and I pointed out that the other pair in the group had heard and reacted but he was having none of it.
The player who hit the shot was understandably pissed off but was fairly pragmatic about it but for some reason it really wound me up as he had done everything he could.

What are peoples thoughts? I can see why he reacted the way he did as it must have frightened the bejesus out of him but I'm not sure my first reaction would ever be to just launch the ball unplayable straight off the bat?
 

Billysboots

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I played in a 4bbb today and there was a flash point with another group that I wouldn't mind peoples perspective on.

One of the other lads in our fourball hit a shot today and sliced it right on to the parallel fairway towards the group playing up it. He called a fairly loud fore and also held his club outstretched in his right hand indicating where it was headed.

2 of the lads in the group ducked but the other two were walking, heads down and apparently in conversation. The ball hits one of their trollies as they're walking.

The affected player then grabs the ball, and throws it towards a gorse bush. When it falls short he marches over and picks it up and throws it right into the middle of it. Making sure it was irrecoverable.

He then marches up towards the guy who had hit it and starts screaming at him about calling fore. Our player told him he had shouted and I pointed out that the other pair in the group had heard and reacted but he was having none of it.
The player who hit the shot was understandably pissed off but was fairly pragmatic about it but for some reason it really wound me up as he had done everything he could.

What are peoples thoughts? I can see why he reacted the way he did as it must have frightened the bejesus out of him but I'm not sure my first reaction would ever be to just launch the ball unplayable straight off the bat?
I think the first thing I would have done, and indeed have done in the past, is ask others in my group if they had heard the shout of fore. If they had, then I would perhaps have sucked it up as partly my fault for not hearing a shout when others could.

That said, I do really think that not many golfers shout loudly enough. I have been putting out probably thirty paces from the next tee when I have barely heard the shout from someone in the group ahead when they have hit an errant shot. If I can hardly hear it from thirty yards, what chance someone 200+ yards away?

If you’re going to shout, bellow it. Otherwise you might as well not bother at all.
 

fundy

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I played in a 4bbb today and there was a flash point with another group that I wouldn't mind peoples perspective on.

One of the other lads in our fourball hit a shot today and sliced it right on to the parallel fairway towards the group playing up it. He called a fairly loud fore and also held his club outstretched in his right hand indicating where it was headed.

2 of the lads in the group ducked but the other two were walking, heads down and apparently in conversation. The ball hits one of their trollies as they're walking.

The affected player then grabs the ball, and throws it towards a gorse bush. When it falls short he marches over and picks it up and throws it right into the middle of it. Making sure it was irrecoverable.

He then marches up towards the guy who had hit it and starts screaming at him about calling fore. Our player told him he had shouted and I pointed out that the other pair in the group had heard and reacted but he was having none of it.
The player who hit the shot was understandably pissed off but was fairly pragmatic about it but for some reason it really wound me up as he had done everything he could.

What are peoples thoughts? I can see why he reacted the way he did as it must have frightened the bejesus out of him but I'm not sure my first reaction would ever be to just launch the ball unplayable straight off the bat?

on the basis others in his group know youd shouted fore id have thrown him in to the gorse bush to get my ball so that he could replace it!
 

saving_par

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I played in a 4bbb today and there was a flash point with another group that I wouldn't mind peoples perspective on.

One of the other lads in our fourball hit a shot today and sliced it right on to the parallel fairway towards the group playing up it. He called a fairly loud fore and also held his club outstretched in his right hand indicating where it was headed.

2 of the lads in the group ducked but the other two were walking, heads down and apparently in conversation. The ball hits one of their trollies as they're walking.

The affected player then grabs the ball, and throws it towards a gorse bush. When it falls short he marches over and picks it up and throws it right into the middle of it. Making sure it was irrecoverable.

He then marches up towards the guy who had hit it and starts screaming at him about calling fore. Our player told him he had shouted and I pointed out that the other pair in the group had heard and reacted but he was having none of it.
The player who hit the shot was understandably pissed off but was fairly pragmatic about it but for some reason it really wound me up as he had done everything he could.

What are peoples thoughts? I can see why he reacted the way he did as it must have frightened the bejesus out of him but I'm not sure my first reaction would ever be to just launch the ball unplayable straight off the bat?
No excuses whatsoever for 'aggrieved' party. His mates heard the shout, maybe he should have an awareness he was on a golf course and balls may be hit offline rather than walking head down in conversation. Walking down a fairway with one parallel to it is an obvious indication to keep your wits about you and be ready for incoming wild shots. Too many clowns playing golf who really should Pee off and find something else to use their anger on. Throwing someones ball into a bush is just plain childish.

Your mate hit a wild shot and shouted fore, not a lot more he could do in the situation.

Agree with Billysboots however in that if you are shouting fore then really bellow it, waving arms out is a waste of time as we don't have spotters as they do at pro tournaments.
 

patricks148

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I played in a 4bbb today and there was a flash point with another group that I wouldn't mind peoples perspective on.

One of the other lads in our fourball hit a shot today and sliced it right on to the parallel fairway towards the group playing up it. He called a fairly loud fore and also held his club outstretched in his right hand indicating where it was headed.

2 of the lads in the group ducked but the other two were walking, heads down and apparently in conversation. The ball hits one of their trollies as they're walking.

The affected player then grabs the ball, and throws it towards a gorse bush. When it falls short he marches over and picks it up and throws it right into the middle of it. Making sure it was irrecoverable.

He then marches up towards the guy who had hit it and starts screaming at him about calling fore. Our player told him he had shouted and I pointed out that the other pair in the group had heard and reacted but he was having none of it.
The player who hit the shot was understandably pissed off but was fairly pragmatic about it but for some reason it really wound me up as he had done everything he could.

What are peoples thoughts? I can see why he reacted the way he did as it must have frightened the bejesus out of him but I'm not sure my first reaction would ever be to just launch the ball unplayable straight off the bat?
Id say a massive overreaction, your pp did all he could by the sound of it. I'd have gone and got this guys ball and chucked that in a Bush tbh.
 

Blue in Munich

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Played 4 ball Match Play today, quite regular partners who hve known each other around 15 years. We were 1 up by the 4th, friendly match, partner has a par and opponent had a putt 3/4 foot for 1/2. All I said was this for a 1/2. No malice or gamesmanship intended. The guy went berserk. yes I know. He then missed the putt and exploded . i apologised offered him 1/2 which he refused. On the 6th I apologised again and shook his hand but he could not look me in the eye!

Was I out of order or was the other guy a tad sensitive. It became worse for him as we were 6 up t the turn. There was very little money involve din the match
When did you say "This for the half"; as he's walking into the putt, or as he's over it and pulling the putter back? If it's the latter he's well entitled to bootlick you.

The other issue is if you were misheard, and he picked it up claiming that you had said "It's a half". Gamesmanship works both ways... ;)
 

HeftyHacker

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He did fairly shout it to be honest but we were playing into a decent headwind at that point so there is every chance it wasn't heard but it isn't uncommon for balls to end up there so you generally have to have your wits about you in that area as there are three holes parallel with only rough separating them. When the aggrieved party started marching up the hill shouting I suspect the other players in his group did mutter that they'd heard a shout as he did seem to have a little less conviction in his attitude after that.

I thought the fella who hit it was remarkably restrained - he was annoyed but didnt pursue the matter beyond explaining he did shout. Although he did say after that if he had been on for a good result on the hole he may have reacted differently. Just assumed the aggrieved was having a terrible day to have reacted that strongly.

The lad who hit it mentioned it to the pro shop when he'd finished just to get his side across if anything was said and the pro checked the tee sheet and immediately said "ah yes, that'll be xxxxx" so the individual clearly has form.
 
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All fo the above said..I recall a friendly 4BBB match in which I missed an 18incher on the first for us to lose the hole. One of the other pair fancied himself as a bit of a joker and laughingly made a comment along lines of ‘ahaha..you don’t want to be missing these all the way round ahahaha…’. He did not know that the time I was really struggling badly with my game and my putting, and it took all my self-control to not blow my top (a bit) and bite his head off…🙄
 

Orikoru

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He's definitely overreacted, big time. If someone said that to me I'd probably appreciate it as I often get lost on who's scored what and who has shots and there's a decent chance I wouldn't even know it was for a half. 😂 If you've apologised and explained that you didn't mean anything by it, and he still has the hump, then sod him, he can do one.


F him. sick and tired of people being offended or whatever it may be. If there’s nothing else to the story then he should apologise.

People need to stop think they’re in the fault when they’re not.
I agree with this. Some points of etiquette are understandable of course, but often it seems to go too far and you feel like you're walking on eggshells not to do or say something wrong. Let's just get on with it.
 

Orikoru

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I played in a 4bbb today and there was a flash point with another group that I wouldn't mind peoples perspective on.

One of the other lads in our fourball hit a shot today and sliced it right on to the parallel fairway towards the group playing up it. He called a fairly loud fore and also held his club outstretched in his right hand indicating where it was headed.

2 of the lads in the group ducked but the other two were walking, heads down and apparently in conversation. The ball hits one of their trollies as they're walking.

The affected player then grabs the ball, and throws it towards a gorse bush. When it falls short he marches over and picks it up and throws it right into the middle of it. Making sure it was irrecoverable.

He then marches up towards the guy who had hit it and starts screaming at him about calling fore. Our player told him he had shouted and I pointed out that the other pair in the group had heard and reacted but he was having none of it.
The player who hit the shot was understandably pissed off but was fairly pragmatic about it but for some reason it really wound me up as he had done everything he could.

What are peoples thoughts? I can see why he reacted the way he did as it must have frightened the bejesus out of him but I'm not sure my first reaction would ever be to just launch the ball unplayable straight off the bat?
He's very obviously out of order. We are amateurs and we will hit shots offline. All you can do is shout fore as loud as you can and hope for the best - which he's done. The only time I'd advocate that throwing someone's ball in the crap is maybe acceptable is if they are the group behind and hitting into your group on several occasions.
 
Thread starter #39

3offTheTee

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When did you say "This for the half"; as he's walking into the putt, or as he's over it and pulling the putter back? If it's the latter he's well entitled to bootlick you.

The other issue is if you were misheard, and he picked it up claiming that you had said "It's a half". Gamesmanship works both ways... ;)
I said it before he addressed the putt. Yes we did shake hands Tashy and I bought him a drink, offered to drive him home, he likes a beer. We play in the same roll up from October to March, went to his daughter’s after wedding reception a few years’ ago. We were 6 up after 9 and won 4 and 3.

Appreciate all the feedback, good and bad and the lesson learnt being keep quiet in future.
 

Billysboots

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He's very obviously out of order. We are amateurs and we will hit shots offline. All you can do is shout fore as loud as you can and hope for the best - which he's done. The only time I'd advocate that throwing someone's ball in the crap is maybe acceptable is if they are the group behind and hitting into your group on several occasions.
I remember many years ago at my last club hitting an errant drive towards the trees separating the 8th and 2nd holes. I gave a big shout of “Fore right”.

I got to my ball to find it embedded fully in the rough, having clearly been trodden on. I looked down the 2nd fairway to see a 4-ball of middle aged men, one taking a particular interest in me.

Never being one to shy away from sorting issues out I walked over and asked if he had trodden my ball into the ground, and he admitted he had. When asked why, he said my ball had hit his bag. I asked if he had heard my shout and he said “Oh, I heard it. But your ball hit my bag”. I walked away saying no more, hearing calls of “You need to play with more humour” from said golfer.

I went to the pro shop after nine, identified the culprit, and put pen to paper and reported his behaviour to the committee, having been told by our pro that if I didn’t complain, he would. He was incandescent. Nothing was ever done. And why? The member was our handicap secretary.

That being the latest in a long line of unsavoury incidents I moved on not long afterwards.
 
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