Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
So today was the day I went back to the hospital for my three yearly iPhone up the South Pole procedure, aka colonoscopy. Once more the drinking of the fluid was possibly the worst part of it. Last night at 7.00pm I started the drinks and quite frankly I was knackered after a day on the course. I lost count the amount of times I was on the toilet flushing out. My second batch started at 3.15 am, I was absolutely hanging outta me ass ( pardon the pun). At one point I had to make a decision of priority, crap me pants or throw up all over the toilet floor. At the last second I remembered a scene from the Excorcist when someone twisted there neck backwards. It wasn’t pleasant and fortunately Missis T was fast on upstairs when said horrific scene occurred.
At 8.15 I arrived at hospital and after a Bit of a delay I was met by five women who would see me through the legal violation of my South Pole.
It was at this point My “Dignity pants” ( the ones with the hole in the back) came into its own. They are a bit like the underwear your missis used to wear in her 20’s when she went shopping in Ann summers once. Only these look like they are from Primark. Now for me ( and this is all down to opinions), but shoving something up something that is designed to move in the opposite direction. Is a bit like driving the wrong way up a one way street. It’s just not right. And the less said about a women putting her finger in first, the better.
Violation started. Now I will say the atmosphere was relaxed. Well for them five it was so I suppose the majority won it, but flippin eck it was uncomfortable going in. It felt like she was using sewer rods. Anyway she than said “ oh look there's your small bowel”. For some reason I could get as excited as her. The retrieval of the sewer rods with the iPhone taped to the end was not as uncomfortable as the entry, but I realised I had stopped talking through my gritted teeth.
Just before they got to the South Pole hole exit, they found a polyp. They removed that with heat. And to be quite Frank, I was upset that they never gave me a tattoo. I think it is something to do with government cutbacks. When the procedure had finished I realised I had done a fair amount of farting and uncontrollable discharges of fluids. I apologised and was told that was there fault for filling me with gas and water. They never apologised.
At the debrief. I was told that the polyps they removed 3 years ago one was pre cancerous. Not gonna lie, I either forgot or didn’t know, but it kinda knocked me for six for a bit. Nearest feeling to that was losing a brand new Pro V1 on our first hole a couple of years back. They then told me I had started with Diaviculitus.
The nurse also said “that’s why you have no wrinkles on your face, there all up yer ass”. She was a sweet talker.
Bottom ( no pun intended) line, once more it’s not the highlight of me month, but it had to be done. I know exactly where I stand re my colon and sewerage works. Throwing up, pains in the ass and dodgy tattoos are a small price to pay to look after your health.
Have a good day folks.
At 8.15 I arrived at hospital and after a Bit of a delay I was met by five women who would see me through the legal violation of my South Pole.
It was at this point My “Dignity pants” ( the ones with the hole in the back) came into its own. They are a bit like the underwear your missis used to wear in her 20’s when she went shopping in Ann summers once. Only these look like they are from Primark. Now for me ( and this is all down to opinions), but shoving something up something that is designed to move in the opposite direction. Is a bit like driving the wrong way up a one way street. It’s just not right. And the less said about a women putting her finger in first, the better.
Violation started. Now I will say the atmosphere was relaxed. Well for them five it was so I suppose the majority won it, but flippin eck it was uncomfortable going in. It felt like she was using sewer rods. Anyway she than said “ oh look there's your small bowel”. For some reason I could get as excited as her. The retrieval of the sewer rods with the iPhone taped to the end was not as uncomfortable as the entry, but I realised I had stopped talking through my gritted teeth.
Just before they got to the South Pole hole exit, they found a polyp. They removed that with heat. And to be quite Frank, I was upset that they never gave me a tattoo. I think it is something to do with government cutbacks. When the procedure had finished I realised I had done a fair amount of farting and uncontrollable discharges of fluids. I apologised and was told that was there fault for filling me with gas and water. They never apologised.
At the debrief. I was told that the polyps they removed 3 years ago one was pre cancerous. Not gonna lie, I either forgot or didn’t know, but it kinda knocked me for six for a bit. Nearest feeling to that was losing a brand new Pro V1 on our first hole a couple of years back. They then told me I had started with Diaviculitus.
The nurse also said “that’s why you have no wrinkles on your face, there all up yer ass”. She was a sweet talker. Bottom ( no pun intended) line, once more it’s not the highlight of me month, but it had to be done. I know exactly where I stand re my colon and sewerage works. Throwing up, pains in the ass and dodgy tattoos are a small price to pay to look after your health.
Have a good day folks.
, but glad things are still good for you.
