New golfer - needs advice after an "incident" on my first lesson

[mushroom]

Hi Everyone,

I came across this forum and hope that someone might be able to offer some advice.
I'm a complete and utter newbie to golf. I've meaning to take up golf for a few years so I figured before I shelled out vast sums of money on equipment, clothing etc I would go and have a few lessons.
To cut a long story I went to my first lesson straight from work, I had on trousers, shirt, tie and smart work shoes.

After my intro and brief tour, we got down to business, I took off my tie, and changed my shoes for a pair of trainers, as they are stiff shoes and uncomfortable for anything other than sitting under my desk and walking short distances.

We were approached by an elderly gentleman (I don't know who he was) and I was subjected to a humiliating dressing down due to the fact I had trainers on and was un-shaved and how didn't expect to see me on the course looking like that.

I'm a Senior IT manager for the largest defence company in Europe and I have never been spoken to in such a manner, the pro was clearly embarrassed, but I left there and then.

I have researched golf etiquette etc, and if I choose to take it up this hobby I will of course purchase the necessary equipment, speaking to the guys at work (who are all under me) said that it was just snobbery, however I can understand the no trainers rule, but it was my first time and lesson on a golf course! And I work in IT, it is my god given right to have a beard

I'm looking for some un-biased opinions as this has made me have doubts about pursuing what I had hoped to be a lifelong obsession.

 

[TonyN]

Where was your lesson? was it at a local course? Was it at a local range?

If it was at a local range, then I would say the gent was out of order, it is a place people pop to at dinner hour, on the way too or from work and there is no real reason for people to be dressed in all the correct gear, although some people do for some reason.

Me personally only ever go to the range in jogging bottoms and a t-shirt and take my soft spikes.

If it was a local course/club that has a range attatched then maybe they have strict rules about the range use aswell as the course and I would say he would be justified in bringing it up with you HOWEVER, this does not justify him humiliating you. He should of asked why you were not dressed appropriatly and then you could of explained your situation, I also would of expected the pro to step in on your behalf,unless it was the club chairman maybe.

 

[SammmeBee]

Trainers!! You should be ashamed of yourself.....

 

[evita4]

Why oh why oh why do some people continue to mistake etiquette for manners. Even if you were "underdressed" for golf a quiet word would have sufficed. This old git is typical of a lot of members of clubs. In short, they think they own the club. However, humiliating someone to this extent is ruddeness and cannot be justified in any way. I would have expected the pro to have come to your defence. Good on you for turning around and making a hasty retreat.

 

[mushroom]

Thanks for the replies, I know about the Trainers!!! We had just hiked around the course and I was getting blisters, they were new shoes. The PRO I believe just rents the facilities.

It was a local course/club. I would have thought a quiet word would have been more appropriate in the situation. I'm still learning the ropes I had every intention of joining this club

 

[TonyN]

then i would certainly think again. We all make mistakes and he was well out of order for treating you this way. I am suprised you got out on to the course in the first place mind. But still there is really no excuse for rudeness.

The main thing is, you learn from your mistakes, and my advice to you would be, before you visit any club, check out there rules on the club website. And if you cant find them, ring the pro shop before you go.

 

[Midnight]

hi,

don't give in just because of some old bloke, he should of known better than to speak to you like that.

The first lesson I went for , I was dressed wrong , this was pointed out to me by a gentleman who I later found to be the club captain, he was polite and explained what the dress should be.

As I said don't give up yet, its to much fun.

Midnight....

 

[Ken_A]

I have came across one a3r5e hole in 2 years - it ruined my day and almost put me off golf - now I realise he was just a rude a3r5e.

 

[Tommo21]

Every clubs got these people. Onwards and upwards.

 

[cm_qs]

Makes you wonder how the game ever attracts any new converts?

As if the hideous expense of taking up golf ( relative to most other popular sports) isn't off putting enough for the absolute beginner, we have a proliferation of self important old tos**rs like this frightening off the newbies.

Shame on him and shame on the pro for not stepping in on your behalf with a timely explanation of your situation.

The problem with any gathering of people for social or entertainment purposes is that they are always run by committee and committee's ( in my experience) seem to attract exactly the wrong kind of people, who are so interested in influencing others that they tend to be blind to the actual purpose of the enterprise. Every club ( golf or otherwise) has a few of these types on their committee.


Mushroom - I hope this doesn't deter you from taking up this game of gentlemen and that, like your namesake, you grow and flourish despite the darkness imposed by the "Golfstapo"

 

[mushroom]

Thanks guys I appreciate the comments, I've got a recommendation off a friend of another club, the only thing putting me off is their shockingly bad website!

Does anyone know anything about Chalgrave Manor in Bedfordshire?

www.chalgravegolf.co.uk

 

[Deleted member 1147]

If you were with the pro and he hadn't said anything then it isn't really a problem to wear trainers. Afterall, I presume you weren't going onto the course itself.

In fact the pro should have told the old fart to shut the F up!

He would probably be a one off. If I were you I'd go back, have a few lessons and then p155 all over him in a comp' one day!

 

[cm_qs]

My advice to anyone taking up the sport would be that there is no need to jump straight in and join a club.
99% of golfers start their journey as nomads - going to the range, municipal or pay & play courses etc until they've gained a degree of proficiency and confidence where they feel able to make the committment to a particular club / course.

As Swiss Toni might have said " Joining a golf club is very much like marrying a beautiful woman - you want to make damn sure that you've played around with a few others first!"

I took up golf (after a fashion i.e hitting an 8 iron up down the school football pitch with my mates) when I was 15 and didn't join a club till I was 33. I suspect that most of the guys on here have a similar storey to tell.

 

[welshjim22]

Too be fair and i know i am extreme but i probably would have been asked to leave by the rpo. Because my reaction to this would have been one of two things. The use of my favourite two words and there are three F's in them. Or the replacement of the golfball witht the old gits head. I don't know if a slice would have dissapointed either. Come on who did the guy think he was. Your with the Pro so if anybody was to say anything it should have been to him or by him. Snobbery is the main problem with golf, and the members who think they are there to enforce the rules in the rudest manner possible. Unfortunately many clubs have this problem.

Fair enough trainers banned and even jeans on the course, i like them though and fail to see the problem. What makes me laugh about the trainers is how companies are making trainer type golf shoes. I have a pair of Adidas ones and i love them. But some flexability for those having lessons as it is expensive enough to take up.

I am playing at a different club to normal on tuesday and because of the golf ettiquete rules should we go in the club house afterwards i have to wear shoes with my shorts, i don't own any so more spending. The club also said they should be white socks. Shorts, long white socks and black shoes that will look awesome. I agree with shoes and trousers but not shorts. If i spray my hair grey i might even pass for an old man dressed like that. No offence to the older generation.

What ever you do ddon't give up. I love golf but hate the dress code. So i joined a club which has a smart but relaxed dress code. In other words for me it is collared golf shirt UNTUCKED, with jeans or golf shorts. And when i visit elsewhere i put up and shut up and comply because the course is a nice new challenge.

 

[Parmo]

 

[Parmo]

I agree with craigmitchell_qs, I started playing last August after 17 years off the game, I told myself I would play the local municipal for two years until I am competent at the game, I am half way there and live golf (at the expence of HID moaning). I have never felt so involved in a game and when the time is right and I know a member or two I will join a club, I might even join my local municipal.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I thought the pro should have intervened even if he only rents facilities as it is his revenue this bloke has lost. I do sort of see the argument aboput trainers but don't condone the way it was handled. As for the stubble look I often go to the club on a Sunday with several days growth and no-one say anything. In fact, our club captain this year is a beardie!

Just put it down to one of those things and don't let it put you off learning this great game. My only advise would be to look for somewhere else in the vicinity that may be more friendly in its attitudes.

Don't worry though you are amongst friends here, trainers or not!!

 

[mackenzie]

You have my sympathies mushroom. I have experienced similar recently after deciding to get into golf properly. Is Golf the only leisure activity where, when you turn up, you have an even chance of someone being completely obnoxious to you??

I love the game but hate these idiots. Do golf clubs not know there is a credit crunch on?

 

[vig]

I agree with most of the comments above.

Firstly don't be put off by one dic&.

If the pro was ok with it, in the circumstances, then it shouldn't have been a problem.

I am one that believes that golf shoes should be worn on the course (not trainers) but lets put things into perspective.

This individual has no rights to speak to anyone in that manner. He didn't have a wrist band on with his name and D.O.B. on did he? In the circumstances, if you were going to walk off and there are other alternatives, I would have left him on his arse......
This is the one thing that really winds me up about the game. He is probably one of the coffin dodgers that doesn't repair pitch marks (i won't start that debate again)

Incidently I took a couple of lads that work for me to my course last year. After previously telling them what to wear, one turned up in football shorts so I gave him my W/proof legging to wear. I then bought them both a pair of golf shoes so they could play. they haven't stopped being reminded of this. But,,,,,, that's the rules and whether you agree or not it doesn't matter.

Find another course or be a nomad. If you want lessons, you don't have to be a member

 

[Sneds]

Mushroom, if you're in Luton, maybe come in Herts a little bit and try out a few courses. I know Harpenden has got a good course and it can't be too far from you.

Harpenden Golf Course