Monty or Poulter

[Atticus_Finch]

Bit of fun.

After todays shenanigans at the London Club, Who do you think would win a square go round the back of the clubhouse?
Would the nimble jabs of Poulter be enough to tire Monty out, or would the thumping fist of Monty be too much for the lightweight poults?

 

[USER1999]

Always go for the fat bloke in a fight. Poults has no chance

 

[HTL]

Bit of fun.

After todays shenanigans at the London Club, Who do you think would win a square go round the back of the clubhouse?

What happened? Have I missed something? They were playing nice when I was watching.

 

[Atticus_Finch]

At the 13th(?) Monty made a schoolboy error and laid up into the pond. As he was preparing to play his (dropped) 3rd shot, he had a bit of a shindig with a spectator/cameraman.
"You're only here because of me. Remember that!" I think it upset Poulter's concentration and he was seen to be complaining to his caddy and making hand signals behind Monty's back coming off the green.
Poulter was asked about Monty's ranting at the end of his round and he did all he could to hold his own rant in and eventually squeezed out a "no comment". But he made it plain to anyone watching that he wasn't happy with Monty's on course behaviour.

 

[vig]

I went for poulter purely because of youth. Lets face it, it would last forever. poulter is a ponce and would be preening himself whilst circling the grounded walrus that is monty and neither would commit. It would get dark and we would all fall asleep out of boredom.

 

[USER1999]

But monty would win a cake eating contest. That is all that matters.

 

[HTL]

Sounds like typical Poulter behaviour, if he aint got enough mental strength to shrug of that how the hell will he ever challenge for majors?

I would love to see Poulter getting a kick in but I don't think Monty is the man to do it. Darren Clark I would always back in a fight.

 

[OldWindy]

Poulter (all mouth and trousers) would be too worried about what he looked like while Monty sat on him. Not a pleasant thought but he has the advantage.

BTW, many happy returns, AF!

 

[HTL]

Very good OldWindy, I enjoyed that.

Do you reckon Poulter would go for Monty's nipples with a 360 degree twist? or a Chinese burn?

 

[OldWindy]

Depends where he sits.

 

[Dodger]

I reckon the hardest man on tour would be either Hennie Otto or Tommy Bjorn.....Bjorn just has the look of a nutter when he 3 jabs and Otto just plain looks hard!

 

[Nico]

I know one of the guys that works on the course sending back the info for the shot dispersal graphics. He reckons they only let Otto out of his cage to play then they have to lock him up again. "Half Trained Gorilla" was his kindest description!

 

[theeaglehunter]

If Monty blemished poulter's hair then I think it would make him loose his temper and he would come back and win. If Monty stuck to working the lower body then I predict Poulter to be crying by the 3rd round.

 

[viscount17]

If it was on 13 (their 4th) on Thursday then it was still simmering when I saw them on 7 (their 16th). Lots of Poulter mutterings, Monty doing his ' don't not speak to me' glower.

Would or could you have them both in a Ryder cup team?

 

[TonyN]

I think poults pink pants would turn a wee stained yellow if monty let loose on him. Ruffle up his hair and rub mud on his jumper, his bottom lip would go and he'd ask his caddy to fight for him!
I could just picture poults legging it down the course like olivoil and monty teeing up behind him! 'run poulter, ruuun!'

 

[toonarmy]

I just have visions of the gladiator scene from 'Life of Brian' with Poulter mincing about while Monty wheezes after him until he finally keels over and IJP claims he's the best Gladiator in the world!

 

[OldWindy]

...and IJP claims he's the best Gladiator in the world!

Second best, I think you'll find!

 

[nomadpaul]

I have just run a computer simulation concerning this scenario.

As soon as the bell went , to start the battle , Monty came out swinging the big haymakers , hoping to take Poulter out with an early hefty blow. Poulter though , used his youth and lightness of foot to dance his way out of Monty's reach. Using little jabs and a lot of movement , Poulter wore down his moody Scottish opponent and after round 6 , Monty dropped to his knee's , his face puce and his chest heaving.
Poulter , delighted at his apparent victory , started playing to the crowd , chest out , strutting his way in front of the spectators. It was at this point that from the crowd a mobile phone rang.......giving a final impetus to Monty's rage as he picked himelf up off the floor , grabbed the phone owner by the throat , and like his languid , smooth golf swing , he swung him round in a neat arc.....neatly decapitating the cocksure Poulter with one foul swoop .

Game over

 

[Imurg]

I think they're both getting a bit boring.

Monty should realise by now that he's only there because of us and Poults needs to win some tournaments and not just show up looking like a peacock. If you're concentrating enough and focussing on your shot a word from someone shouldn't make that much difference to these guys. Half the time I think its just an excuse for a poor swing.

And I reckon Thomas Bjorn would fry them both with just 1 stare...........................

 

[Atticus_Finch]

Bjorn's eyebrows alone scare me.
Sorry, monobrow.