Magical words, from the mouths of dads!

[medwayjon]

On a little bit of a sad note that got me thinking about this, a good mate I grew up with sadly lost his dad to cancer very recently and last night, we were having a bit of a reminisce about what our dads have said that made us chuckle.

When we were 17 I was round my mates house and his dad was about to give us a lift to the local nightclub.

My mates mum said to paul "maybee you will find a nice girl tonight son" To which my mates sadly departed dad replied in his broad irish accent "will he hell pauline, that randy bugger (me) has had more birds than an aviary but him (points to paul), well he still thinks that the lord invented it for p!$$ing through!"

We were in hysterics last night chatting about this stuff, along with the usual topics of getting a "slippering" getting something to cry about and when dad finds your copy of razzle you procured down the alotments.

Anyone else got any dad tales?

 

[Imurg]

My Dad always said that when I got a cold it was the result of getting out of a warm bed and coming home......

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I remember him saying with a deadpan face as I was climbing a tree in the garden was - if you fall and break your leg don't come running to me

I seem to remember him never giving any real worldly pearls of wisdom but would always be there if I needed advice or a shoulder to cry on. He was never one to refuse a trip to the pub whatever the excuse.

 

[Herbie]

A pal of mine following an argument with his son came out with a cracker to shut his fired up teenage sons mouth, his son was storming off saying "I wish you were'nt my dad!" and quick as a flash he replied, "Well when the DNA test comes back, hopefully I wont be!"

 

[madandra]

I remember when I was about 19 I was taking my dad to the bookies and I clocked a guy who had borrowed £30 off me and didnt pay it back. I pulled in and told my dad I was going to get it back one way or the other and he said that from now on that muppet will avoid me at all costs and never ask for another penny but if I get it back he will ask for a tap all the time.


I left it and aint seen the guy for nearly 20 years.


I shoulda just got my readies

 

[Tommo21]

My old man passed away a few years back and I do miss him. Anyway, how many times did you hear your dad say “don’t go near there it’s dangerous” The canal or and river where I stayed in Glasgow was two points in question. My old man done it different, he would take me to these places and show me the dangers first hand. Boy, it sure stuck in my mind.

 

[cm_qs]

where I stayed in Glasgow

Are you a secret Weegie Tommo?


The one line my father always trotted out to me and my two brothers when we were teenagers was ....
" If the Polis ever come to my door and mention your name, it had better be to tell me that you're dead... otherwise, YOU WILL BE!"

 

[Tommo21]

where I stayed in Glasgow

Are you a secret Weegie Tommo?


The one line my father always trotted out to me and my two brothers when we were teenagers was ....
" If the Polis ever come to my door and mention your name, it had better be to tell me that you're dead... otherwise, YOU WILL BE!"

No secret mate, I'm proud to come from Glasgow, springburn.

 

[RGDave]

I was given a car after my G-dad passed away.

In the boot of that car I found a set of Golf Clubs.

Two weeks later, I went and played "for real" at a local course.

In the evening my dad enquired "how did you get on?", to which I replied "106 shots". "Very good, he said, your G-dad would be proud of you, that's a great effort for a beginner, maybe you'll be as good as him one day.

Just before going to bed, my dad enquired where I had played, and how long the course was.....
I couldn't answer on the length, but I said "you must know it, the 9 holer near the station".

"9 holer!!!, 106 shots, thank ***** your G-dad isn't still around!

- - - - - - - - - - -

RG to miss mini RG....

"Come on sweetie, you've got to give it more welly, you're hitting it like a girl......"

- - - - - - - - - - -

Loading up a boat for a day's fishing, the skipper enquired "do you have any bags?"
My dad replied "no, thank goodness, me and the lad persuaded the missus to go shopping!!"

- - - - - - - -

 

[KeefG]

The very first time i went to a nightclub, i think i was 17, i'll always remember my dear departed dad's advice:

"If you're not in bed by midnight son, come home"

I didnt get it at first and it didnt dawn on me until i was on the bus

 

[vig]

My pop used to say "if you ever bring any trouble home, it won't be half as bad as the trouble you have just started with me".

Later when I was about 18 and was getting ready to go out with 4 mates that had come around to our house he said. "christ, I hope no one tries anything with you lot tonight, even I wouldn't fancy tackling you"

Also. "get the first blow in, it saves time and aggravation"

My god I do miss the old man

 

[Basher]

Dunno about magical words my Dad used to say. I do however, repeat phrases to my son that my Dad used to shout at me;

"Turn them lights out!"
"Door!!!!"
"We've got a bin under the sink you know!"

I do remember my Dad warning me of the consequences, should the coppers bring me home. Just said it to my son a few times.
My girls...... a bit different, there weren't any female siblings when I lived with my parents.

 

[Canfordhacker]

"Door!!!!"

Oh that one brings back memories for me, and I bet my daughter would recognise it from me!

 

[madandra]

Who's auld fella used to always turn the immersion heater off meaning you had to have a 4" bath that was freezing???

My dad once said I had to finish eating my banana at lunch because they didn't grow on trees . . . aye right dad.

 

[Tommo21]

You know, I really regret the odd times I would pop in to my old mans to say I was in a hurry. What I would give to have that time again, everything else would wait.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I miss my old man so much. Even though I can't drink anymore I'd love to be able to spend our regular sunday lunchtimes in the pub again, chewing the fat etc. I wish I had played more golf with him.

 

[Smiffy]

I wish I had some similar story to tell about my old man but unfortunately he was a bit of a bastard. Had 7 kids, divorced my Mum when I was about 11 and then totally distanced himself from us all despite living fairly close by. In later years I tried to make contact with him, popped in to see him where he worked and invited him down to visit my family on numerous occasions, but he never took me up on the offer. He just didn't want to know any of us. How can a bloke do that? OK if he had issues with my Mum, fair enough...stay away. But to distance himself from seven kids and never wish to see them again, to find out how they were getting on, to see how they had grown up and what sort of lives they had made for themselves? I will never understand that (or forgive it I suppose).
I have two kids from my previous marriage, Harry who is 19 and Lydia who is 17. I couldn't imagine my life without them and would do anything for them. They visit regularly, and I am in constant contact with them. If I don't ring for a few days, they will make a point of phoning me.
Strange world isn't it?

 

[viscount17]

ouch! I don't see my kids often enough but I'd kill for them (let the other b' do the dying).

I left to join the navy at 15 so missed a lot of the contact you get in teenage years, I do remember him saying when I was about 10 " if you join the marines I'll bloody disown you"

Dad got asthma after the war as a result of malaria. We lived down a lane and would sit on the wall watching for him to come home. If he hung on the gate at the top we'd compete to race up the lane with his pump.

He went last year, got to talk to him a bit more often toward the end but too little, too late.

 

[haplesshacker]

Some very personnal accounts on here guys. It makes interesting reading, and I suspect that alot of this isn't something that you'd even talk over with your 'real' mates. I know I wouldn't. I guess the anomity of the forum makes it all a bit easier.

It's amazing what us blokes 'bottle up'. (I have made assumptions, but I suspect it's possibly true).

My old man told me a pearl of wisdom when I was in my mid teens. "Don't tell people your problems. Half of them don't care, and the other half are glad you've got them!"

Phylisophical (sp) chap my father. We also used to discuss the universe, politics, religion, business, over the rare evenings out together as a family. Though this did start from about the age of 8! He is essentially a scientist.

Might explain a few things now!

 

[slaznick]

My little-ins were running rings round me a few weeks ago, my Dad was there and I said to him "when do your kids stop being a pain in the ar*e?" His reply to me? "When I find out I'll let you know"